So I’m sitting here watching my Christmas tree lights blinking assorted colors. Yes, I know it’s January 12th and many days after Christmas, yet the tree stays put. It could be because no one has had a chance to take off the lights and ornaments to put it back where it belongs [upstairs].
The tree, will wait until Christmas comes around again to entertain people decorating it. But until then, the tree must be taken a part so it will fit in the box. It is only used once a year. Just think of tree sitting up there dreading the summer because it’s so humid and it likes cold. It has to wait a whole year before it can be brought out. How boring! Just think about how the tree feels. The question is, does the tree have feelings like human beings? We will never know.
Another topic: Him. The former boyfriend. My best friend. Whenever I listen to a song, he appears in my mind. Even if I’m not thinking of him, I still am. It’s hard. He’s going through such a rough patch right now, I can’t leave him. I would never anyway, but I mean if I get another guy. Or my work and homework take over my life. That aspect is nearing. In fact, it’s one week today.
One week “today” I start my 2nd semester of Temple. I will be working AND going to school. 5 classes. Yeah. It will be rough, but I know I can do it.
Christmas is my favorite holiday. However, this year I wasn’t all that into it because I had surgery a few days before and the pain was excruciating. Now that it’s over, I miss it. You know how you only miss something when it’s gone? Well, that is SO true.
Honestly, if you asked me how I was feeling today, I would tell you “I don’t care.” I guess I’m kinda in a mood today. I just don’t really care. Sorry, it’s not personal, it’s just how it is. I have many things to do, yet I don’t feel like doing them. I know. I promise I will get to them. Pinky. : )
I’m also thinking about “Sundays.” You’re probably wondering, “what the heck is she talking about?” My Special Sundays with him. I mean, I’m going to have to get used to having boring Sundays. Know why? Well, school is coming up. He is searching for jobs somewhere else. He is looking for a girl. All those factors.
Change has to happen though. As much as I hate to admit this, but life is changing. It will be 1 year March 6th, 2011 that we’ve been broken up. I cry for him sometimes. He doesn’t really know that either. I just love him so much. It’s so hard. Seriously. He’s very special to me.
I try so hard to make him happy. I just act extra silly for him. I do it to make things better.
That’s what you have to do. Make it better. Make it better. Make it better.
What else can you do?
I ♥ you guys. OXOXO