Romance, what’s it all about?

Romance. What comes to mind when you hear these 7 letters? Well, according to freedictionary.com, romance is an “ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people, love.”  In my perspective, romance is a few things such as adventure, surprise, and spontaneity. However, in our society now-a-days, romance is seen as sexual.

For instance, let’s say after a guy gives a girl flowers, or does something romantic, he wants a favor in return. What is that usually consist of? Sex. Why? Because things in our society like movies and t.v. shows show that type of stuff, which gets ideas into people’s heads. If you watch, very rarely do you see a guy treating a girl to a special dinner and receiving only a nice peck for it. I believe it’s because so many movies, magazines, and some books promote this kind of stuff. If it wasn’t advertised in different medias, then it wouldn’t be thought of as much.

I was talking to one of my guy friends the other day about women. I asked him if there are guys out there that can do something romance without feeling as if they need sex for it. He says it’s rare. However, when I asked him when he romances his girlfriend, does he always want a present in return for giving it to her from the heart; he said that he likes to supply her with a gift. He doesn’t need anything from her.

Many men out there are hungry for sex. I think around the age of 18 to 25, men begin to think about sex more than anything. Their hormones start to kick in and they develop sexual thoughts.

So as we can see, there is one guy who doesn’t expect anything afterward. BUT, now, let’s switch to the girls. Why does she have to have romance to have sex? I guess I figure that it’s the same sort of thing where she expects something, then will produce sex as a reward.

We can get real here and talk about sex. Yes. We are of age where we are allowed to talk about it, right? I’m not going to go into the details about having it and what not, just about the issue of it. So, many people our age are not virgins. They have had it either multiple times or once. The question that comes up in my mind is why isn’t sex as special as it used to be?

Remember when guys and girls would only have it if they fell in love? What changed? Well, like I noted earlier, our society. Now, don’t think I blame everything on society. That is where most of these ideas come from. I mean, I realize these types of things can happen in our community and somehow it ends up in the newspaper, stemming out into society. It’s just a shame that it doesn’t matter anymore who they sleep with. They may sleep with this individual once and never talk to, or see them again. It’s basically the stop and go.

These kinds of things happen when you are drunk and lonely. I’m sorry to disappoint you all, but it’s not like the 70’s with the Brady bunch, when things were hunky dory. I’m giving this message out to you all: please be careful when you behave this way and have sex with a total stranger because honestly, you have no idea where this other person has been.

Also, have you seen the show “Teen mom?” or “16 and pregnant?” I realize that you aren’t 16, but do you really want to have a baby around 22 and have to put a halt to everything because of your “drunken fun?”

You must think I sound like a goody to shoes who is acting like a parent and telling you all these things not to do, right? Well, I am about having fun, but I just don’t want you to do something stupid. I would like you to enjoy yourself, the surroundings. I mean, honestly, you probably won’t listen to any of this mumbo jumbo. I’m okay with that, but I’m just giving you advice.

I mean, I know sex is great fun, but be safe about it.

I hope you will read my articles and stick with me. H♥pe “2” Help.

The white house.

I walk passed it with its white siding and fence around the whole thing. There is a window that projects out of the it. The backyard is big enough for small children to run around and play a game such as tag. No trees in the yard. The car port can have at least 2 cars in the driveway at a time. One only has to walk a few steps to the front door as they park in the driveway. It is easy access in case in rains.

This house used to be my former boyfriends father’s house. Now, it is nothing more than a stranger’s house. There sits a Big Wheels Coupe in the yard. At one point, there was 3 adults living in the house. Then there were 2. Now, there lives a family.

Two summers ago, I met the father. I sat in that backyard conversing with the rest of the family as well. I ate in that backyard as his fathers old roommate talked to me about writing. It meant something to me two years ago and now it’s nothing but a white house at the corner of Chestnut lane.

Recently, when I walked by the house, there is a shade. That is relatively new because when I sat back there, there was merely a temporary over hang to keep the sun out of our eyes as we had a party for my former boyfriend.

I’ve visited that house at least 5 times in my life. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but at the same time, it felt like so much.

Have you ever thought of something that means a great deal to you then life changes and you feel nothing towards it?

Well, the problem is it still DOES mean something. It’s a feeling of sadness and change as I walk by it today. It hits me as hard as a baseball. It is strong and out of the blue strikes me. Why am I still a little glum over this house?

I really couldn’t tell you why this hit me all of a sudden.. Maybe because I am reading a book called the “Search for meaning” by Dennis Ford. If you’re into “meaning” then you’ll want to pick this book up and read it.

The faces that pull up to this house are family members, friends, cousins, former boyfriend/ girlfriends of another girl and boy.

When you walked into this house, you are in a den with a tv and a couch. After you pass this room, you pull a sliding door and see the kitchen. The kitchen table, I sat there the 2nd time I met the father. Him and his father sat there and debated as I had no choice but to listen.

The 3rd time was when his father was on vacation and were there alone: him and I clammed up. We were suppose to try some “things” but it fell and we just talked.

The 4th was on July 4th,2009. We watched fireworks in his fathers yard.

There was no shed, no kid car, no kid supplies under the car port.

The 5th was probably the worst because as I walked my dog with my brother, I went over to say hello and it was completely awkward. The reason was because I hardly said a word and his father didn’t have much to add. It was a disaster.

However, I’ve seen his father at his new house, with his girlfriend, about 3 times and I know how to have a conversation now.

But in the white house there lives a family with no connection to me whatsoever.

This doesn’t have direct meaning to what I am talking about, but it is around the ballpark. It is a quote by one of my favorite authors.

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”
-Albert Camus

“It was as if it never happened”

The backyard was decorated with balloons, banners that said “Congratulations,” tables set up with black cloths overtop to place plates on that read “Congratulations 2011 graduates,” parents fancying the pool up for kids to swim in, and food and drinks set up to be guzzled down.

The clock struck 12:30 pm on July 10th, 2011, which was when the party was scheduled to begin. The high school graduate stood in front of the window looking to see which guest would arrive first. Who would be “the dork” who had nothing better to do except arrive first. Guest 1 came around 12:50 pm. The high school graduate had no clue what to do. He sat outside with him making small talk and walking back into the house to “go pee.”

In reality, he came inside to see if somebody, anybody would show up to make the scene less awkward. Family member 1 and f. member 2 came next. Then guest 2 came around 1:20 pm. But this “guest” was actually my best friend who the high school graduate invited, so for most of the time, I had to entertain him.

Around 1:30, family member 3 arrived. The high school graduate was a terrible host and couldn’t entertain his only guest. When guest 3 came, he was a little more comfortable because it was his best friend.

Later on, guest 4 and 5 arrived and left later that night. As family members 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, it was looking more like a party.

Even with 5 guests and 10 family members, I was bored out of my mind. It felt as if I had ADD and I couldn’t sit in one place for a long period of time because I would get restless. The pool was open to everyone, there was a dart board set up, plus there was a bean bag toss. I know, I played all of them, but somehow, I still felt as if there was nothing to do.

The high school graduate didn’t know how to handle 5 guests at a time. HE even had no idea how to entertain himself, let alone 5 others..

Guest 4 left fairly early because I heard that “he was bored,” said the college graduate. Guest 5 departed around 8:00 pm. Then guest 1 around 9:00 pm. Guest 3 remained and even slept over that night! Guest 2 was gone around 7.

The backyard was cleaned up around 930 pm. I accompanied with putting the chairs back in the yard and placing the radio system in the house. The tables were cleared and it looked like a regular yard again.

The next day when I woke up, I went outside to throw away an empty soda can I found in the recycling pin. I gazed around the empty backyard.

Where were the kids that were playing darts? Or the guests that were swimming in the pool playing volleyball screaming? Or the parents talking at a loud voice because they were a little buzzed or excited to be with family members? Where were they?

Did the party even exist? Because to me, it was as if it never happened..

I went back inside. I had to remind myself that it DID happen and the time just went by at such a rapid pace, that it left me with a feeling of emptiness.

I was sad that the party didn’t seem to make that much of a mark in my life as I thought it would, no real impact. I had no real feeling of: Oh, man, I wish it were yesterday. It was merely a “his party was yesterday.”

I felt disappointed, I guess. Who knows. All I know is, to me, the party was a bit of a bust.