A previous Christmas.

I sat in my grandma’s house waiting to be handed a present. Since I have 8 cousins, and 2 brothers, there were a decent amount of gifts under the tree. The noise level was about a 10 out of 20, so listening to your name being called was hard at times. Everyone would be scattered and with their own parents. Our parents would help us open the bigger gifts that we received. I was near my younger brother, who was 5 at the time, while I was 9.

The tree was decorated with ornaments and garland. Us kids just finished our pizza that we had in a separate room than the parents. We would all gather around and watch my cousin eat a slice of pizza we slide against the kitchen floor. We would all laugh as she ate it in a few bites. It was a cruel thing to do, but she was about 2- years- old and would eat anything. She had no idea what was going on, she was just hungry. Even though this doesn’t sound like much fun, this was the last year we had Christmas together as a family. It was Christmas 2000.

These were the days we would all congregate and converse with one another. There would be something for everyone. No one would get left out or forgotten.  Most Christmas’s would be spent at Grandma’s because she was our leader. After all, she was the root of our family.

After that year, for some reason, our family became distant. We came together during the death of my young cousin in 2001, but after that, we had almost no contact with each other. The next year, our Christmas wasn’t as bright or great as the previous one. The years that followed were filled with emptiness. The family was no longer considered one, rather we were all separated.

Eventually, we came back in contact with one another. It took many years, but now we see one another more so than in the other years. For me, those years felt lonely. Everyone did their own thing. I really have no idea what happened during those years, but the only thing that matters now is that we get together more often now.

The only thing I find sad is that everyone is getting older and we don’t know how many more years that we will be one family. The thought of losing someone in my family, scares the shit out of me. But, honestly, that’s life.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Years to all. XOXO.

❤ Hope Kumor


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