Break-ups are hard to digest.

Have you had a recent break-up where it is so painful that you are barely getting by? Were you madly in love with this person and they didn’t want to be a couple anymore? This kind of stuff happens everywhere in the world atleast once. Don’t think that it’s only you who has to suffer. Just know that there are others like you out there. I’m here to assist you, so don’t fear. I will be giving relationship advice. If you are wondering “why should I listen to her, what qualifications does she have?”  Well, I was the relationship columnist at my past college and these are my ideas on how to help you with your relationship or life in general.

First of all, we are still young. At this point, we are in college trying to pursue our career, while other things are happening. I believe this is both the peak and the pit of our lives. All of it is so confusing, making so many decisions; such as ending a relationship, starting one, getting married, or just finding yourself. It’s a difficult process, I know.

I realize that some of you might be so consumed in a relationship that when breaking up suddenly happens, you have no clue what to do. First, I know that if you are in love with the other person and they say they “need a break” it’s almost traumatic. Feel free to cry for the first few weeks because it hurts when you find out they are no longer in love with you while you could be possibly planning your wedding out, for example. I mean, every relationship is different. There could be many reasons why they broke up with you. Some reasons might be blatantly obvious, some not so much.  Either way, this is the time to take some serious “you” time.

Whether your relationship was months or years, it still mattered. Someone I work with said the other day “However long you dated, it takes about that much time to get over them.”  I agree with her because it took me a LONG time to get over my former boyfriend. The first few weeks/months will be hard, then eventually you will let go of them and find another.

I believe after about 3 months, you should put yourself out there again, depending on how the situation with them ended. Either way, you will have to move on. You can’t spend the rest of your life hoping that you two will get back together. You will need a change. If you haven’t put makeup on at all for weeks because you feared you would break down at any minute and your mascara would run, try putting it on this week. You might feel a little better about yourself. That will be the first step. The second step will be to get a hobby, if you didn’t have one before. Maybe you like arts and crafts, drawing, reading, painting, writing? Try something new. Then gradually begin to go out again, if you have been staying in all the time.

In time, you will get your confidence back, if it was lost in your last relationship. The other thing I would like to stress during this column is even though some may want to rush into a new relationship straight out of the last one to avoid the pain, it’s a bad idea. Also, you don’t need a boyfriend to make you happy. I say that you be by yourself for a bit to gain your independence back. Trust me, I am not trying to make this sound as if this is so easy and just do it. I am merely saying to get your life back, to recover from a breakup you will have to get back up at some point. It will be hard, but like I said, everyone goes through this process. Honestly, it sucks.

If any girl/guy has a question for me, feel free to email me hopeandlove89@gmail.com  I know I mostly wrote steps to help girls move on, but guys you may email me and ask me advice on this issue and I will try to tell you what I think because break-ups are hard to digest.

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