You’re sitting there laughing, enjoying and smiling at one another. It’s a precious moment that won’t last forever. It’s a perfect day along with the sun shining. The light breeze blows your hair while you exchange whispers with your best friends about a boy that’s at a bench near the three of you. You are mesmerized by the color of his eyes, his spiky hair, his muscular stance & the way his jeans accentuate his ass. You take notice of all these things in this moment with your best friends on each side of you.
You & your friends make it a once a week get together. You want him to pay attention to you, but he doesn’t. One day, he happens to look your direction & smile. You see that his teeth are white & he has dimples. How cute. He comes over to you and talks to all of you. You feel special because he DOES in fact remember you. He bashfully mentions that he’s seen YOU around here and figured he would come over and talk to you for a few minutes. You are gasping for air. You and your friends nicknamed him “Park boy.” You imagined this day. He was so funny, charming, cute, witty. Everything you wanted.
Next week, he was there again & you guys spoke once more. It was a similar conversation, but with more flirting.
The week after is it. He asked if you wanted to hang out. Everything is set. The both of you would get together and go out for ice cream. You are ready. Hair. Makeup. Attire. It is too good to be true. But it wasn’t.
Then. He never shows. No phone call. Nothing. He stood you up! What a bastard. Your eyes fill with tears, but you try to stay strong. You are an adult. Don’t let this get to you.
But what happened? Was it me? Was he too nervous?
Days go by and all of your friends tell you not to text him. They don’t know that two nights later you did, but he never responds. You let it go. What else is there to do? You couldn’t constantly text him, that would be obsessive.
One morning you are looking in the newspaper and see it. In bold print. His name. His picture. The date of his death. It was The Night. The night you were suppose to go out. Again, your eyes fill with tears. How could you even see this coming? How in the world. Just then, you get a text. It’s from him… What? Is it a joke. Yes. You knew it all along.
But no. It says, “Hello Jackie. This is Kirk’s mom. I’m sorry I didn’t reply to you sooner, but Kirk was killed in a car accident on his way to your house. I know I should have called you and told you that night, but I was so shaken up about it, that I couldn’t. I’m very sorry. He told me all about you. He said how special you were even though you barely knew one another. He would always tell me about this girl in the park who he was too shy to go up and talk to. This is going to sound as heartbreaking to me as it will to you, but he told me he thought you were ‘the one.’ He just knew it. I’m so sorry, Jackie. XOXO. Janet.”
This long text message explains it all. There is nothing left to say. You sit there staring at Kirk’s picture in the obituary section. You can’t move. You are temporary immobile. You have no clue what to do or what is next. Every kind of emotion runs through you, but you can’t speak. You don’t reply back to Janet that day, nor the next day, nor the day after that. You can’t go to the funeral. You know how much it means to his mom, but you can’t bring yourself to go. You can barely hold yourself together in work, so how on earth can you keep your composure at his funeral?
Your friends come over to console you, but nothing works. Your parents, sister and brother try as well, but you just sit there staring at that damn picture in the obituary section of the newspaper. You keep reading the text over and over. You just don’t understand what happened. The questions popped in your mind even if you aren’t thinking about them. How? Why? Who? Where? Even though you CAN find out these answers by texting Janet back,but you can’t bring your fingers to your cell keyboard.
Even though you hardly knew him, the fact that he told his mother YOU were ‘the one’ is what caused all the emotions inside of you. That is the killer. The depresser.
No way. No how. Sometimes there isn’t always a happy ending…
This is a fictional story that started with a happy beginning and then finished with an unhappy ending. Didn’t see that coming, huh? Never do.
Death, how absurd. How someone can just be laughing with you then gone from this earth. I know I’ve written about this sort of thing before, but as a human being, this kind of comes up. It’s a mind stirrer. I can’t run from it. I can’t flick it off like a bug. I can’t slap it in the face. It will always be sitting there to greet me at the door. I can’t. I absolutely positively indefinitely cannot even fathom the idea of someone that’s so close to me dying. When I think about it, I become ill. Why?
I can ask these questions, but it wouldn’t change anything. It won’t make a difference. There’s never enough time for anything. NOTHING. I’m so sorry to all of the people who had to witness the death of their loved ones. I’m truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I swear I do mean it too. I really do.
I LOVE YOU.
❤ Hope Kumor