The perfect New York trip.

When my alarm went off at 8:00 and I knew I had to get out of bed by 8:30 since we were going to New York City, I felt frustrated because before anything, I needed to do more homework. I completed some of it, then woke up my brother so he could get ready. Next my younger brother woke up. It was my 2 brothers & him, the best friend. Of course he would go with us. All of us got along so well & always had fun.

The plan was for him to head over around 9:50 to drive all of us to the New Jersey transit station to catch the 10:37 train to NYC. I was in a good mood because I’ve been looking forward to this day for a few weeks.

I got a text around 9:00 that morning from him. Rather than 9:50, he would be here 9:55. That’s no big deal, but if he is too late, I’m blamed. It seems it’s MY fault if he arrives even five minutes late. My brothers never have the guts to point this out to him, rather it’s my doing. We all got ready for our eventful day with the sun shining. It was such a perfect day.

He came around almost 10:00. The other day I sent him a picture of my “car,” which was a corvette, so when he saw a Pontiac Bonneville parked on the street, he questioned me. He talked about how nice my corvette looked. These types of jokes were always thrown my way and I loved it. He told a quick story, and delighted us all with laughs and smiles. Those were his specialty, the stories. The way he told them was so funny that it was almost impossible not to laugh.

After the story, we headed to his car. We would need to get to the station fast in order to make the train. Even though it wasn’t too late, we needed to pick up the pace. He told another funny tale on the way & the car was filled with happiness and laughter, at that moment of course. The day would be a getaway from normalcy to enjoy ourselves without worrying about the next day or the day after. It was a nice atmosphere to be in.

When we got there, the parking was limited. After we found a spot, we hurried to buy our tickets to catch the train. Of course he had to do many things before he met us downstairs to use the ticket machine. I waited for him though. As we reached the stairs, his glasses fell from his hand and flew down at least four flights of stairs. The word “fuck” was yelled and we hurried down to see the damage. To our amazement, the glasses were fine. They were in perfect condition.

We made the train with at least five minutes to spare. I loved when all of us talked. We all knew what to say to make the other one involved in the conversation. But, eventually as the train started up, he no longer spoke. His train approach was to stare out the window & think. He thinks too much, but I can’t say much because I do the same. As my two brothers spoke to one another, they tried to include me, but sometimes when he gets quiet so do I. I can’t really tell you why, it’s just how it is. I talked a little bit, but I let them talk mostly. When we finally reached our stop, we headed to the bathroom and then to got some lunch.

I’ve been counting calories lately and when I told him, he kept harassing me in terms of my meal choice, a pretzel. Meanwhile, my older brother consumed two decently large slices of cheese pizza and yet he said not a word to him. His reasoning was “he doesn’t care.” That was true, but you could point out that the pizza had way more calories than a damn pretzel!

After that whole spiel, we made our way to the boat to take us to Ellis Island. We made reservations for 2:00 & it was getting late and my brother started to panic. It turned out that our timing was perfect. We had to go through this security check, just like in an airport. My younger brother had to throw out his box cutter, which he brought in case there were any mysterious people late at night. We all laughed at him as he threw it in the garbage before we were checked.

The boat ride was pretty interesting & filled with many foreign people all around the world. There were numerous languages spoken all around us. But, the sun was shining on us four. The sweat began to form a little bit on his forehead, but the way his eyes squinted at me overtook everything. I didn’t care. He’s not my boyfriend anyway, I’m just saying.

The tour we went on at Ellis Island was filled with information about the immigrants, the island itself, pictures & displays. At first, us four looked bored to the max, but as the tour progressed, the information that emerged from the woman’s mouth became more interesting. We all learned valuable information that we can tell others.

After the tour, the time struck 3:55 & our ride back was scheduled at 4:40, so we looked around the gift shop. This was where he repeated over & over that I should buy this ranger-type hat for my dad. I told him over & over again that HE should purchase it. We joked, laughed and smiled. I LOVED those moments during the trip. They were my favorite.

We walked toward the boat around 4:20 to see the line very long. But, the dynamic changed when we got on the boat. We climbed to the top, but were separated. It was him & I and my younger brother & other brother sitting together. There were many pictures taken all around us. I was depressed because half the day was over. He remarked that it was only 5:00 & we still had about 8 hours more together. That’s all good & fun, but that’s not how I felt. We sat there quiet, me observing my surroundings & him thinking.

After we left the boat, he called this arabic book store he wanted to visit to purchase books. It turned out that they weren’t open. So, we went on our way to the World Trade Center.

This was the most depressing part of our trip. We saw where the twin towers once were. It was devastating to think that so many people lost their lives that day all because their building was crashed into by airplanes. I can’t even imagine how that must have felt.

I wanted to stand there & absorb the atmosphere, feel all the emotions that ran through the family members who lost their loved one’s body, feel the day. Everything. I tried to sniff the scent in the air that consumed that whole day.

But, we needed to move on, go & eat because our show was at 8:45 and it was 5:30 already. We would need to get on the subway to arrive at Moonstruck Diner. Around 6:15, as we walked down the street, and found the place.

At dinner, he teased me when I ordered a triple decker turkey club sandwich. I guess it didn’t matter that I hadn’t eaten anything since 7 hours prior to that. Nope. He poked fun about the amount of calories I was about to consume. I guess that’s the down side to telling him I was counting calories. But, even so, the smiles emerged from his mouth and I could NEVER take that away, especially on a day like this day.

Eventually, we paid, used the bathroom and walked back to the subway to our final destination, Dangerfield’s comedy club. I had the tickets, I made the reservations, I had everything taken care of. The only request of the club was for everyone to buy two drinks. I was most nervous about this part for him because he can’t really drink anything but water otherwise it bothers his stomach. When we received the menu, the most peculiar thing about it was there weren’t any prices for the alcoholic beverages & tea was $5.50. If that was that price, how much would it be for a strawberry daquiri. I’m not a big drinker anyway and I’m talking about juice as well. So when it dawned on me I had to drink two beverages, I wasn’t happy.

First, I ordered a tea. Him, black coffee; brother, beer; younger brother,soda. We had our first round covered. He ended up loving the coffee and ordered another one. To my surprise, he was okay, which I was so glad because that was THE last thing I wanted: to be taking care of him while we were suppose to be enjoying ourselves. The only thing was he drank about 3 waters because he was so thirsty. It was such a funny sight to see!

The show started around 8:50 or so with the host who right off the bat was funny. It’s a good thing we weren’t assigned seats in the front  because those people were busted on pretty badly. They were asked their profession & some were made fun by the way they answered. One of the hosts first words were, “We are here to enjoy tonight and not worry about all that other stuff going on in life or work.” I looked at him because he’s such a worrier who HATES his job, so I wanted him to more so relax!

There were 7 men. Various acts. Funny in their own way. We laughed, he laughed so hard that at one point, he was crying. It was such a great line-up. If I tried to explain the jokes to you, you would look at me in a dumbfounded expression, so I won’t recount them. Just note that they were hilarious.

The show ran from 850-1125 or so. Our bill ended up being $72.00. It was $12.50 for the strawberry daiquiri I bought. $12.50!!! I was not the happiest girl in the world when I looked at that. But, I must say, it was worth it. We hurried out in order to caught the 12 something train back to the original station. We found out that there wouldn’t be a train until 1:22, so we had no choice but to sit and wait in the station. During this time, we talked about the show & all the funny moments. Again, we all enjoyed one another along with the show.

We were all so tired as we sat in waiting room. But, he kept laughing to himself about the show, which I enjoyed because he’s usually in a serious mood because his current work situation. I would say his laughter was one of the BEST parts about our whole trip because he never takes time out to relax & enjoy life. He’s always so worried about everything and for him to just sit there, laugh and shake his head back & forth thinking about the show was the icing on the cake. And I truly believe that.

On the ride home, we all zoned in & out. We couldn’t miss our stop though. We drove home around 3:00 & there was no one on the road.

Our trip was over at 3:20 a.m. when we arrived home. The day was over & I felt as if I had nothing to look forward to. After all, my brother was going back to TN in 3 days & there was nothing ahead except homework. I felt depressed.

He would need to eat when he got home & couldn’t go to bed until 6:15, meanwhile all of us crashed as soon as we got in the house.

This was one week ago today, March 18th. It was such a lovely day that I didn’t want it to end. At this time last week, we were riding the subway to the station. I would re-live this day over & over again. It was such a perfect setting. Nothing went wrong & we all got along so well. No fights, arguments. And it was one day that I could say he was happy and I mean REALLY happy. And that made ME a happy girl to know that I was the cause of happiness on this day!

❤ Hope Kumor

Mr. creepy.

Creepy men hit on me. Yes, this is the story of my life. Even though I’m an attractive girl, weird men believe that they can snag me by winking, charming, and checking me out. I can’t get away from these men that think its okay that their 30 and I’m 22 and hitting on me is normal. Well, let me tell you something, it’s not.

The other day as I was working at Barnes & Noble, these two men came over to ask for some help. But, as I came from behind the counter the look on their faces said it all. The man said out loud, “wow,” and looked me up and down. Even though he was embarrassed to the core because on accident, I heard him say those words, this sort of display still disgusted me. He and his buddy must have been in their late 30s, though I can never judge another’s age even if it hit me on the head. But, as they walked off, they sort of apologized and give me these cheesy smiles as if I would forget what just happened.

I hate to break this to you, but this isn’t the first time a pervy man has ogled at me and it certainly won’t be the last. I haven’t been stalked as of right now, though I probably just jinxed myself. Let’s knock on wood here, people. I believe it comes from being such a nice, sweet girl. Maybe I need to have a tougher, meaner exterior. Do those types of girls get hit on by creepy men? I think not!

I’ve read somewhere that a bookstore is ranked one of the highest places to be picked up. Maybe because the man will think you’re intelligent and wise? Nevertheless, it’s not alright.

It happens everywhere. On the train I ride to school, in work and even sometimes when I’m out gallivanting. You can tell when the man is weird. You usually know by the way he looks, his features, the way in which he displays himself, the way his eyes shift from your face to your breasts. You just know.

Another example of my creepers clinging to me story? Oh, I thought you’d never ask.

This guy used to always give me these rather odd stares as he got on the train stop after me. The stares would turn into smiles as he boarded the train, on the same days as me, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I would see him at school and his eyes would move in my direction, give me a gaping look and walk past. I’m even surprised he never stopped to talk and take in my sensual amber scent from Bath & Body works. That would have been too over the top of course.

One day a few weeks ago, as I started school, I noticed his presence no longer on the train.  I was happy that I wouldn’t have to see his creepy face walk on and sit on a seat near me. However, I went to the library to study one day and guess who was sitting there, Mr. creepy. As I sat at the computer to check my email, he walked over to me, sat down next to me and started up a conversation. He asked me my name, major, and what high school I went to, inquiring about my life as if we knew one another for years. Stupidly, I answered his questions, but in a rather quick matter without much enthusiasm or emphasis. He didn’t even take the time to notice that I was disinterested and unfocused on him. I was more so looking to see if I got an email from my editor about an article, but yet, he kept seeking information about my life. Who was this guy anyway? He was another senseless, strange man who was totally oblivious. As I got up to leave the library, his full attention was on me as I hurriedly walked in the opposite direction of him.

So to conclude this interesting creeper tale, never tell the man too much or he might just become a stalker of yours who puts your life in danger. I didn’t stick around long enough to tell him the amount of information that would ultimately get me in trouble. So, just beware folks!

Despite this coming & going thing, I’ll be okay.

I feel sick, nasty, drained. He leaves today again, back to school, back to reality as they say. Can I do it again? Hopefully it will be one of the last times I endure this much pain. I’m choke up. And here come the tears. They always form in my eyes when he leaves and comes back.

This is the 4th time I’ve been through this. I feel sad every time. Could you ever get used to your brother leaving the state for school in Tennessee and consistently coming back to visit to then leave again? Honestly, I’ve had so many other things that his departure hasn’t even crossed my mind, but now that it’s here, the thoughts start to form in my brain.

Even though you would think after four times I would be a bit more accustomed to it, but I’m not. I can’t be. He’s my brother and we are very close. The problem this time around is that I don’t know when the next time I’ll see him. The other times I knew his arrival was near and I could look forward to it, but this time, it’s quite different.

It’s been my dad, mom, younger brother & I since he left. We CAN do this again, I CAN do this again and I will be okay. It’s just the initial coming & going process. It’s horrendous and excruciating. I hope you NEVER have to go through it, it’s terrible!

So as I sit here & write this, I have hope that I will see him in the next few months, sooner than later. Though, he will miss mother’s & father’s day, we know everything can’t stay the same. Things WILL change forever. That’s life, folks.

What more can I do than be happy that’s he’s going back, he certainly is. It’s time, really it is. He was originally supposed to leave yesterday, but he stayed an extra day. It’s so painful though to think about. When I get up, he will leave 30 minutes from that time & I must, yet again, watch him drive away. I believe that is the hardest part, him driving away.

But, despite this coming & going thing we’re doing here, I’ll be okay.

❤ Hope Kumor

There’s just nothing without customers.

When I walked in, there were very few human beings in the store. There were many untouched books. There were many toys without children’s dorito encrusted hands laid all over them. There were nook tablets that didn’t have fingerprints all over the screen.

The V-cart that carries the books laid unempty since the store was slow. I shuffled around looking for something to do, anything to do. There was nothing, absolutely zero to do without customers. We need them to run the store. I know you also need employees, but without people, the store is dead.

I realized that the other day as I was working. Though, it’s such a dumb thing to realize just now, but even so, it hit me. Work has been slow and I dig things out of my ass to do. Sometimes I search, sift and look for anything to do. Any type of reshelves. The employees will fight over them like animals in the wild. It occupies you for at least five minutes until you are unbelievably bored once more.

You can’t do anything except bear the eight hours of torture. Eight hours with nothing to do is horrendous. You just want to find something to eat up those hours so you don’t go insane!

I hope work picks up. There’s just nothing without customers!

Need advice? Ask me.

Hello loves. So, I’m doing something similar as one of my fellow bloggers “I am Not Defined.”

I’m here to give you relationship advice. You can write to me and I will do my best to give you insight on the situation and offer my opinion in your time of need.

You can either email me at, write me on here or visit my facebook page: Hopeand Love.

I’m here to help my loves!

❤ Hope Kumor

He needs me, I swear!

He gets up, does his “stuff,” goes to work, comes home, eats, does his “stuff” again, and watches some TV.

The next day: He gets up, does his “stuff,” goes to work, comes home, eats, does his “stuff” again, and watches some TV.

Every Monday-Friday he performs the same routine. Does this sound boring to you? There is emptiness that lives inside of him. He has nothing. He doesn’t really have anybody and it pains me. I can’t help but wonder if he will ever really pull the plug. Come on everyone, you know what I mean: suicide.

I feel the need to watch over him like a worried mother. I feel as if I should check up on him, but I have some many other things going on I don’t have the time to constantly ask him how’s he doing. Plus, he doesn’t need me to do that, nor would I want to be that way. I think about him sometimes, worry about him, cry for him. I can’t help it.

I swear he needs me. I feel for him so bad at times I’m in pain myself. He is my best friend & I would do anything for him. I go out of my way for him. Even if he doesn’t do the same in return, it makes me feel good.

I HAVE to continue to do everything I can for him, but at the same time, I can’t forget about myself. This happens at times since I put his needs over mine. He doesn’t ask me to, I just automatically do it. It’s like a routine myself.

I feel the same as well. I’m very bored with my current situation. Even though I’m in school, getting a good education, I feel unsatisfied with it.

My schedule isn’t as unfulfilling as him, but it can take a toll on anyone who gets tired of it. I need to find the happy medium & just accept it.

Trust me, I will miss my current schedule in a year when I graduate, but for now I sit here and tell you how bored I am.

But, he needs me, I swear I can feel it.