I feel sick, nasty, drained. He leaves today again, back to school, back to reality as they say. Can I do it again? Hopefully it will be one of the last times I endure this much pain. I’m choke up. And here come the tears. They always form in my eyes when he leaves and comes back.
This is the 4th time I’ve been through this. I feel sad every time. Could you ever get used to your brother leaving the state for school in Tennessee and consistently coming back to visit to then leave again? Honestly, I’ve had so many other things that his departure hasn’t even crossed my mind, but now that it’s here, the thoughts start to form in my brain.
Even though you would think after four times I would be a bit more accustomed to it, but I’m not. I can’t be. He’s my brother and we are very close. The problem this time around is that I don’t know when the next time I’ll see him. The other times I knew his arrival was near and I could look forward to it, but this time, it’s quite different.
It’s been my dad, mom, younger brother & I since he left. We CAN do this again, I CAN do this again and I will be okay. It’s just the initial coming & going process. It’s horrendous and excruciating. I hope you NEVER have to go through it, it’s terrible!
So as I sit here & write this, I have hope that I will see him in the next few months, sooner than later. Though, he will miss mother’s & father’s day, we know everything can’t stay the same. Things WILL change forever. That’s life, folks.
What more can I do than be happy that’s he’s going back, he certainly is. It’s time, really it is. He was originally supposed to leave yesterday, but he stayed an extra day. It’s so painful though to think about. When I get up, he will leave 30 minutes from that time & I must, yet again, watch him drive away. I believe that is the hardest part, him driving away.
But, despite this coming & going thing we’re doing here, I’ll be okay.
❤ Hope Kumor