Let’s just hope this lasts.

The house is quiet & empty. Everyone is gone. Two are in Atlantic City and one is at work. I am alone, but it’s Sunday & I haven’t seen him in a month. He pulls up around 6:24. The time he was supposed to arrive was 6:15, but he was finishing up my stuff, he explained.

We make our way into my room to converse about our days. The strange thing which occurs is he’s silent on the phone, without much dialogue, but in person, he talks up a storm. What’s the difference between the two? He begins to talk about politics with lighten eyes. Whenever he speaks about these kinds of subjects, you can see the passion in his eyes. There is no denying that he loves to debate. He tells me about the insurance job that he’s pursuing. Though, he has no drive or desire toward it, he informs me that this could lead into what he wants to do. The smile forms on my face because that’s all I want for him, happiness.

Time ticks and we must leave the house to do some errands. He must be home around 8:30 because he has to fill out another application. We aren’t in the store too long. As we walk in the store, the laughs & giggles come from both of us. He’s so great to hang out with, as a friend of course. After the shopping is done and we stand in line to pay, his phone rings. It’s his one friend from work. He doesn’t pick up because he feels funny talking to him in the store. We talk, and laugh some more as we exit the store.

In the car, he checks to see if he has a voicemail. Nope. It’s clear. But, he gets a text that says, Who is your girlfriend? I think it’s something between them, maybe like a joke, a gag. No. It’s me. I’m his “so-called girlfriend” that his friend inquires about. I feel a little awkward because 1) I’m not 2) I felt funny him thinking I was. Immediately I say, he knows we’re not dating, right? He shoots back, that’s not the point. I shrug it off, but still feel a little weird about what he’s just asked. He was in the same store, but I guess he felt strange coming over and saying hi. I wouldn’t have cared. I would have liked to meet his work buddy. He says, damn, I should have picked up. I hate doing that. I looked so rude.

We make our way to the second store & the subject is dropped. We move onto another topic, something unrelated to the previous one. We enter into the other store as he tells me a story. He always tells stories when we’re together & I love it. I love it when he talks, shares his thoughts with me, it’s great. He tells me that his father was interested in  the four of us, his dad, his girlfriend, him & I going to a comedy club. Usually, he would never reveal this type of information, but he is more talkative in person.

It is around 8:25 as we make our way out of the store. He carries his bags full of eggs, rice cakes, chicken & allergy medicine. It is getting late & he must get home. I drive and we exchange more stories & he smiles. Even though he doesn’t say much at times, that smile is his golden ticket. Any girl would be lucky to have him & his smile. We drop off his groceries at his house & drive straight back to my house.

On the ride to my house, he says that “asian girls are hot.” Now. Question. Am I jealous? To be honest, not really. I didn’t feel hurt, mad, annoyed or anything. I was shocked. This was the first time my eyes didn’t fill with tears & I was proud of myself.

I park in my driveway, we get out & he says Well, I have to get going. Do you want to walk me to my car? His car is about 10 feet away. I didn’t want him to leave. I always enjoy his company & he’s awesome. Plus, I know that he didn’t want to be on his way. That would mean the week would start over again.

When we approach his red, clean-cut vehicle, he hesitates a bit. He gives me a nice hug, gets in his car & sits there for a minute. As he drives away, I don’t look back. I enter my empty house & sit on my kitchen counter and ask myself Are you okay? Am I okay? I think I am. And, for the first time, I think I might be. Who knows how long it will last, but I am happy. Let’s just hope this lasts.

XOXO

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