Recall Learning Disability: In a way, I guess I’m proud.

I read it, I read it again & a third time. I don’t understand it. It’s boring, plus my recall learning disability interferes with what I’m reading. It seems to fully comprehend the material, I have to read it over at least five or six times, which becomes quite annoying as I have so many other subjects to tend to. It’s the life of an english major, reading, writing a paper on the topic & digging deep into the real meaning being conveyed.

I never gave up on school despite this interference with my studies. I pushed my way through and didn’t let it stop me from pursuing my dream, to become a magazine writer.

I was diagnosed with this learning disability in kindergarten when my teacher noticed I wasn’t grasping concepts as fast as the rest of the class. I went through many tests. In middle school, I ended up in a class which helped me organize my homework so I wasn’t too overwhelmed. The worst part about it was, while most of my peers learned Spanish in 7th & French in 8th, I couldn’t since I had the helper’s class. I was a bit disappointed.

You could never tell that I have this disability because I come off as normal as possible, but I was always so embarrassed when someone explained something to me and I had to ask for a complete explanation in order to follow the words that came out of their mouth. Now, this didn’t happen in every single situation, only when the idea was hard to understand.

In work, I had to really pay attention to my manager’s directions, as I didn’t want to screw anything up. I had to stand there and attentively listen to every word. In most cases, I was okay, but there was the select few times  when I would need more. Sometimes if they gave me too many assignments at the same time, I couldn’t remember them all and would have to ask later what the third one was. It wasn’t a big deal and they had no problem.

I never told anyone unless it came up. I didn’t even really tell my friends. What was the point? I was embarrassed, as I said.

When I got to college, I needed more assistance. They allowed me more time with tests, quizzes, assignments and in class essays. I always needed something extra. Still, I don’t tell anyone that I have the disability because I don’t want them to look at me differently, judge me, or think I’m stupid.

My mom tells me I should be proud of myself and how fair I’ve come. In a way, I am, but I’m not. I mean, yes I’ve made many accomplishments and never let anything stop me, but there are so many more people in the world that have broke barriers and survived. Me? I continued on with life despite my learning disability.

I mean, in a way, I guess I’m proud.

❤ Hope Kumor

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