I’m on edge. I swear I’m going to explode, burst, break down. I’m almost at my breaking point. I just keep thinking about death. I’m psyching myself out. I keep thinking about the death of my parents. I question if I’m strong enough to go through that. Currently, I’m questioning my strength. Am I even strong enough to do the most mundane things? I’m not … Continue reading I’m nearly broken.
I’m in the kitchen getting my dinner ready for work. I’m scheduled 4-close and need to eat on my 30-minute break. But, then, all of a sudden, it comes. This overwhelming feeling of not wanting to go. It will be the same thing. I will walk into work, go upstairs to put my belongings in a locker, clock in, walk around looking for books to … Continue reading But, what can I do to stop this feeling that overcomes my whole body?
I type in the lyrics “And the snow turned into rain.” These lyrics are from Dan Fogelberg’s Same Old Lang Syne, which is a Christmas song. “That” feeling comes over my whole body. The holidays, the cheerfulness, the Christmas tree, the presents, the lights, the weather, the hot chocolate, family gatherings, & the music. When the music begins to play on B101 that’s when I know … Continue reading The unexplainable feeling.
We sit in the living room discussing newspaper articles that this customer of my father’s has saved. She has a pile sitting in her house from many years back. For the past few years, I’ve been looking on google, yahoo, bing etc to see if I could find something, anything on my cousin Eddie’s tragic death. At one point, his name was all over the … Continue reading Death, you can no longer run & hide from it.
There were two parts to his birthday presents, a book & a special day with me. The day would consist of driving to Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania & riding around on scooters. It would be a refresher from what we normally do. His birthday was on the 5th & since he turned 25 this year, I had to make it different. It had to be exciting & … Continue reading The whole day we just talked, laughed & smiled.
There was a surprise party scheduled for him, for his birthday, June 5th. Though, it was planned for the Sunday before it since everyone invited had to work during the week. Excitement ran through my body as I thought about going over there and feeling special in the company of his dad and girlfriend. I hadn’t seen them in a while and was gung-ho about … Continue reading But, I just can’t start “that.”