The whole day we just talked, laughed & smiled.

There were two parts to his birthday presents, a book & a special day with me. The day would consist of driving to Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania & riding around on scooters. It would be a refresher from what we normally do. His birthday was on the 5th & since he turned 25 this year, I had to make it different. It had to be exciting & fun, not plain & dull like other years. It would be a 25th birthday he wouldn’t forget. Though it wasn’t on his actual birthday, it still counted, it still meant something to him. And, the weather was perfect, the temperature read 90 degrees, sunny. It was such a nice day.

He was scheduled to be at my house between 11:20-11:25, no earlier, no later. That was the only request I had. He didn’t have to drive, or pay for the actual scootering. It would take about an hour & 51 minutes to get there. Unfortunately, I would need to eat lunch on the way, driving. As he came, he carried his GPS and a book. This was a gift for my brother, for his birthday. It was a spanish Catcher in the Rye book. He was amazed & loved it the moment it was given to him.

It seemed like he was in a good mood though. Could you blame him? We were finally doing something, getting away from our daily, boring lives to ride some scooters in the countryside. We were both psyched.

We left my brother in his room to read the book, said bye to my mom & headed out. He set up the GPS. I was a bit nervous driving since I would have to go onto major highways & merge. Merging was THE worst because you can never be sure of what other drivers will do. Will he/she go? Will he/she slow down? Will he/she speed up? It’s so awful.

On the drive, he was quiet, like usual. At times, he doesn’t say much. There isn’t much conversation on his end. That means that I have to keep it flowing. But, I wasn’t going to do it, so for a while, we sat in silence. There would be the initial, Why is the GPS taking me this way sort of dialogue, but we mostly just drove in silence. As we reached I-95, the talking began. He began to tell me some work stories. We started to laugh & giggle together. However, this time was QUITE different. He was just my friend here. We were two buddies going scootering to have some good ol’ fun. There was nothing more there. He talked about this woman at work who he’s attracted to, this other girl that he thinks likes him and another one who he believes is hot.

But, I was okay, fine. I kept up with him. He was surprised to hear me talk about his father’s girlfriends brother [read the previous post I published in order to understand what I mean]. Also, I spoke about a guy at the job where he & I met. He was shocked to hear that I thought of this guy that much. It was strange that he seemed so surprised since HE was the one who told me to go for him way back when. But, I believe this talking about guys-girls to one another is still new to us, primarily him.

I told him about Obama’s same-sex pay that I read online. How fair is it that men receive higher pay when women do the same amount of work? If women have the same qualifications as men, why would they get paid less? He agreed. He likes politics & I wanted to get him talking a bit.

As we continued driving, eventually, he needed to pee. We were making good time so we could find a place like McDonald’s for him to go. He set the GPS to a restaurant. We took the exit. But, it took us to a street with a steep hill. I’ve always had such a fear of driving on a steep hill. I’m afraid I will roll down & hit the car behind me. After a while, it navigated us back onto the road we were just on. He begins his ranting & raving, cursing, doing what he does. I was confused as well since it took us back to where we started. When he does this, I get scared because he yells & screams. I hate to hear someone yell at me, especially him. He would NEVER physically harm me, he’s told me that, but I still get frightened. He planned another route to Wawa. Again, we got off at another exit with an extremely long red light. He told me he was in A LOT of pain because he had to pee so bad, he NEEDED to pee. Okay, alright. Yelling won’t get you anyway, except scaring me. It does the same thing, it took us back to where we were. This time he told me to just get off at the next exit & he’ll pee on the side. I was trying so hard not to laugh. It wasn’t funny that he was in pain, but the fact that the GPS kept re-routing to the same place was comical. I knew he would get so angry with me if he saw me chuckle so I held it in. I pulled over, he got out & peed behind this brick wall. I started to laugh & giggle. It was a funny situation.

After about 3 minutes, I figured that he really must have had to go because I started to get a little worried. Eventually, he came back. Then, he tells me that he thinks he got poison ivy. I started to giggle a little, but only because it was such a crappy situation. Stuff like that always happens to him. He never has good luck. I told him not to touch it. There is lotion for it, so don’t worry. But, he came to realize it wasn’t poison ivy.

We continued on our way getting closer & closer. Talking, giggling, laughing & enjoying each others company. We started to see Amish people with their horse & buggies. We agreed that he can’t be Amish because he sweats too much. At times, that’s the type of stuff that we talk about & it’s funny. It’s the inside jokes. He begins to get really excited. I can see it, I can feel it & I love it. I loved it because I was the reason for his happiness on this particular day. It was “me.”

We arrived and parked. It was 2:00, perfect. I scheduled the appointment & everything was set. We went into the store that we owned by another guy. The guy would have to call the owner of Countryside Scooters. It was all so confusing because the two businesses were connected, yet they had no sort of connection.

He was the one who talked to the owner of the scootering place. The first man we spoke to seemed bitter & rude. Him & I agreed either he was having a bad day or didn’t get sex with his wife the night before. Either way he was ignorant.

We waited for the owner. We’ve come to the place before & it was the same guy. He didn’t remember us. It was too long of a period. It was 1-2 years ago. We had to sign forms.

Meanwhile, he smiled at me. He was so happy & you have no idea how glad that made me feel. I didn’t care that I needed to pay ‘that’ much. It was worth it to see how happy he was, for once, in a long time. His smile was cheek-to-cheek.

We peed before he rode. We had our helmets and sunglasses. It was very warm as well. The man set us up in the back. Scooters. He sold the other ones we rode the last time we came. Previously, mine was pink, but this time it was blue.

For starters, I forgot that my hair would be ruined that day due to the helmet. First we rode around the back to get used to it. When the man told us the one scooter was faster than the other, he smiled at me & signaled that he wanted that one. Sure, why not? I sure as hell didn’t want the quicker one.

It was from 2:45-4:45. We had two hours.

After we were comfortable, we made our way to the road. I was nervous. He asked the owner for a map. The owner suggested some routes to take and not take. Okay, we were ready. Good luck & have fun, said the owner. He was first. He knew where to go. The max speed limit the scooter went was 40 MPH. Some roads we would need to go that fast since there were cars with us. There was a chance we could die as well. What happens if our car collided with a car? We were on real roads & there was always that risk. But, I didn’t let that stop me. He would be very far ahead & when I got left behind, he stopped somewhere and waited for me. Some of the time I went 40 MPH, but most of the time I went about 35. Ever since my car accident, I’ve driven slighter slow & more cautious. We made left turns, right turns, went straight. At one point, I almost hit a wall. It terrified me. I turned too sharply & stopped myself before I hit it. The scooter would have been damaged for sure.

He would ask me if I was going 40 MPH. He told me I HAD to go that fast because there were cars behind us. I had at least 2-3 cars pass me. I didn’t mind. Let them pass me, I told myself. I was talking to myself, laughing, yelling. No one could hear me. The wind was so strong that my eyes teared up. My helmet blew back as well. But, we were really booking it.

There was a time when we had to turn left & cross over three lanes. I didn’t feel comfortable with that & let him know that. No way. I mean, we were risking it enough by scootering on the road with other cars. He listened to me & we turned right and made a left into the parking lot. He was great with directions. He knew exactly where to go. He was so great.

Like everything else,  time went by quickly. We saw a water-themed mini golf. Since his father loves to golf, he wanted to check it out. I took some pictures. Then, he says something that I believe wasn’t meant for ME to hear. Finally I have something to talk about. Now, I’m not sure if he meant at work or with his dad. But, still, when he said that my heart melted. He would “have something to talk about.” Something. Again, that was me. I’ve said this before, but again, if I wasn’t there, he would have nothing, nada, zero. I was the reason, the cause. I gave him “hope.” It was me & I loved feeling like that. All in all, the BEST thing for me was seeing him smile, being happy. Nothing else was worth more to me than that. That was “it” for me. And, I can’t emphasis ‘that’ enough, I could never.

He was his old self, making jokes & making me laugh. It was awesome, great and fun. But, I’m scared. I’m seeing him as just a friend, but I’m afraid that I will back track, go back. I NEED to stay on track with this, right here, right now. It’s all level ground here & I can’t let his presence get to me. I’m so proud of myself for finally being okay hearing him talk about girls. Later on, I even asked him if he thought a girl was pretty! That’s how comfortable I was. I would have NEVER asked him that. The thought of him holding, kissing, touching, hugging a girl nauseated me. The pain & agony I went through cost about 2 years of my life. That’s a long time.

When we got back to the scootering place, he saw antique golf clubs for his father. But, the place was closed. I knew he REALLY wanted one, but unfortunately, there was no way of getting one. I knew he was disappointed. There was nothing I could do to help either. I asked the owner of the scootering about it, but he couldn’t help. There was no harm in asking.

It was so strange driving a car. On the ride home, he talked almost the whole time. I LOVED hearing his stories. At one point, he says, You love my stories, don’t you? Yes, “I love when you talk, tell me things,” I said. Of course. I asked him why he talks a decent amount in person, but on the phone, he’s a whole different person. He’s quiet, doesn’t say much, leaves it up to me to talk, tell him things. It gets frustrating I told him. I wanted him to talk, explain things to me. He says since works is so boring he doesn’t want to recount it, re-live his day. He wants to forget it. But, where does that leave ME? Nowhere. It can’t be fixed either. Unfortunately, the next time I talk to him, he will be down & untalkative.

Nevertheless, he went on & on on the way home. He talked about his past memories with friends. It was a change. “I” could sit & listen this time. HE would talk & lead the conversation. I did so well driving as well, merging & taking the right exits. We laughed, smiled & giggled together. It was such a perfect and nice day.

I needed to eat, so I chose Subway. I’ve been counting calories, so I only bought a turkey hoagie and a water. For the first time, he REALLY expressed his wish to eat like a normal human being. He wished he would eat at least two meals a day & be okay with it. He wanted Quizno’s.  Of course I wished along with him. Previously, we talked about him having problems when he dates a girl in the eating department. How would he explain to a girl that he can’t eat? Will she be as understanding as me? Who knows.

He went home to change out of his sweaty his clothes while I ate. He would come back & we would go on our famous Sunday night shopping run. He told me that he believes his mother & her boyfriend broke up. This made me sad because her boyfriend was one of my favorites. He was always there to make you laugh & smile. But, he’s not 100% sure.

When he came back to my house, he told my parents that I was a “slowsky” going only 35 MPH. He smiled & laughed & joked. It was cute.

We went on our run. He talked more. He wanted to pick out a corny movie for his friend’s wife. It was some sort of joke among all three of them. But “I” noticed the movie and then showed it to him. He thought it was perfect. It was such a cheesy picture on the front & cost $2.99. Why not?

We cursed, joked & laughed together the whole time. It felt like a real friends event & that was great. I don’t want a boyfriend right now. I’ve been having too much fun looking at guys. They’ve been giving me glances as well.

We got to his house & put all of the groceries away. On his birthday, I tied a balloon to his mailbox & when I entered his house, the balloon was sitting there. He REALLY liked that. It was very nice, he told me.

We left the house & headed to mine. He wanted to see how to converted YouTube videos to an MP3. We entered through the backyard since the front door was locked. My mom told us we looked so cute. But, we were just FRIENDS looking cute. Smiles on our faces.

I showed him then we just talked. Normally, he leaves 8:45. That night, he left 9:50. He had SUCH a nice time with me, I could tell. I wished every time I talked with him, he would be like that. That’s how he USED to be, laugh, joke & smile. No longer does he do that. Only when we are doing SOMETHING.

HE talked about the woman in work again. She’s taken but there’s something that  draws him to her. No way, no how, I told him. She’s taken with a child! Then, we switched to his father’s girlfriend’s son. I joked & said were we competing against one another to see who can have the greatest age gap. He’s 6-7 years apart from her, I’m 6 years from the son. Come on.

We just talked, laughed & smiled. That was the key to OUR day. It was special & nice.

I’m sure he didn’t want to leave, but he had to. I walked him out. The neighbor across the street had his shirt off with fat hanging down. He told me that it was a good thing that it was night. Perfect, huh?

But, the second best part. The Hug. It was longer & tighter than usual. You have no idea how that made me feel. You haven’t a clue how special I felt being the one to make his day, make him happy. Every time I do something for him, it makes me feel good.

The whole day we just talked, laughed & smiled.

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