He’s lonely, wants to meet new people &I have the ability to do just that.
I set up a Night Out at Dave & Buster’s for Saturday. I would invite him along with all of my other friends. It was set. I told my one friend about him coming. As any friend who knows his & my relationship, she questioned if I was sure I wanted him to come. She knows our history & the pain & agony I went through as he flirted with other girls. Nope. I was good, fine, golden.
Then, the next step was to tell him. I told him to make sure not to plan anything that Saturday. A week before, I told him all the details. He did the unexpected & told me, No offense, but when I told you I wanted to meet new people, I didn’t mean your friends. Really? Seriously? Who else can introduce you to a group of people? How do you ever expect to do this then? He thought it was a joke. He thought I was kidding. No way. No how. Why would I joke about taking him out & introducing him to my friends?
So, after I went over all the details with him about the night, he went on a tangent about how social situations work & how the night will turn out. He talked & talked & talked about it for 25 minutes. I was on my 30 minute break & got tired of hearing how the night would go & what would occur as we hung out & played games. Everyone would be in their own click. We would exchange a few words, but that would be it. There wouldn’t be much conversation.
Ok, let’s stop right here. Let’s hold the bottle right now. This could be potentially true of ANY social interaction. This could happen in ANY instance. Or, it could go the other way, I told him. You & the group could talk & converse & get to know one another. It’s a perfect situation. But, he overanalyzes EVERY. SINGLE.SITUATION. He needs to relax & let loose sometimes & not worry about everything. THIS could be his problem, how he thinks too much of how it’s going to be, rather than to see how the situation pans out on it’s own.
It was up to him. I gave him the opportunity, if he didn’t grab it, it was his loss.
Let’s fast forward to a few days after that, Thursday. He texted me & told me he wanted to go. My friend’s b.f. is from the country he wishes to visit & they could converse about that. Her b.f. is the ticket, the open door. However, at that moment, I wasn’t sure if her b.f. was going, so I told him that.
Saturday, THE DAY. I found out her b.f was going. So, I called him & told him. He made plans for the next morning, so he wasn’t sure if he could go. Okay. Alright. Fine. I’ll tell my friend that he can’t go. No big deal. End of discussion.
But, wait, no it wasn’t. We talked for an hour. Thirty five minutes of that time was spent deciding if he should go or not. We explored the possibilities of what could happen, what may happen, what he believed would happen. I just did it, but eventually, I was worn out. I was so tired of talking about it. I was out of words to say. I’ve never seen him so indecisive about something. The answer was no. Unless, he texted me & changed his mind. He would let me know.
I was leaving my house after 8:30 to drive to my friends so we could ride together. 8:15, he texted me, when I specifically told him to text me before that so I could tell him the details. Then, he said he’ll join us. Okay. That’s fine.
Oh.. you will. We are meeting over [my friend’s]. You can follow me over & meet everyone first. I’m leaving here around 8:30, I said.
It was late. I was being fair. He needed to come over that minute or else he couldn’t come. I was going to be late as it was. Then, he said,
Oh um maybe not then. im not even ready. its cool though. another time.
Really? Seriously? Right before that, I told my friend, actually he was coming. She said okay. So, again, it’s a no? I call him & tell him that if he wanted, he could meet us. I was still being extremely fair & patient with him. I was a little annoyed, but I wasn’t out of control. But, the situation was messed up as is. First of all, he’s already made me look bad by saying, oh, I’m coming, now I’m not, now I am. So, I had to tell them he’s not coming now? Then, he said,
Don’t tell anyone yet. I can meet u guys there.
Okay. So, we’re on again. Do you see why I get annoyed? Please tell me, your thoughts. Would you get annoyed? Am I right to get annoyed?
I arrived at my friends. Around 9:00, we left, so I texted him to let him know. It was two guys & four girls.
I told my friend that he was meeting us there. He asked,
When are you guys going to be there?
We were almost there at the time. But, after I texted him,
Did you leave yet? If no, maybe you should come another time.
He wrote me back saying,
Yea maybe. i started but im not sure how long i could stay. just say i have to get up early
He started? Does that mean he began to drive then changed him mind for the fifth time?
That was it. I was done. No more texts. First he tells me, he can come, then he can’t, then he can, then he can’t.
How does that make me look?
I was annoyed, pissed & irritated. That’s fine if he didn’t feel comfortable to come & meet everyone, but don’t mess around & tell me five different things!
It’s just the fact that he made me look bad!