He just knows.

I take the elevator to the 11th floor to attend my 11:00 class. First, I walk to the bathroom to check if my hair & makeup is intact. I wear a hat on this particular day & I want to avoid looking ugly in it.

As I make my way toward the water fountain, I discover my boyfriend sitting by it writing. I psst him & he looks up with his light brown eyes & tells me he’s just finishing his final thoughts on some plays for his Creative Writing class. The way he sits there with his black jacket makes him appear adorable. I can’t describe to you how cute he looks at that moment.

After he is done, I tell him he looks cute, he responds with, so do you. Then, we walk into class & sit down. I have 3 weeks left of school then that’s it. I’m done.

Currently, I’m trying to take an internship class through the continuing studies office of my college for the spring, therefore, all of my files need to get shifted over. I am told to print out this form & take it to this gentlemen in the office. I ask my boyfriend to come along. When I speak to the guy at the desk, he informs me that not only do I need an appointment with this gentlemen, but I also need my transcripts. First off, why would I need my transcripts if all of my folders & files are at my college? Would I need to go back to my high school or other college & request them? If so, how long would that take? I just want to finish this process so I can be placed into this class.

After we leave, I share with my boyfriend my true feelings on the matter, why the fuck do I need transcripts? For what? So I need to go all the way back to my high school and request them. That’s bullshit!

He takes me to the side & explains to me why he thinks I may or may not need them. The kid said you may not need them, he calmly says to me. He knows how to talk to me & I tell him that. He’s so patient & good with me it’s not even funny. It’s too perfect. Too much. Too lovely. To deserve such a guy as he is overwhelming. He’s all the above.

He rubs my arm. Asks if I feel better. Later, when I express my opinion on the store meeting I had yesterday for work, he tells me to relax when I tell him I think my store manager dislikes me. It’s frustrating to work in retail during the holidays, but it’s a job! Again, he rubs my arm. Oh, he’s good! There’s no one better than him 🙂

I can’t express enough how much I like & care about this guy. He’s amazing. He’s such a good guy.

He is sweet, nice, funny, cute, intelligent, caring, patient just like myself & I do believe I deserve him. Sometimes, it’s just hard to digest that he’s all mine. He’s wonderful & I believe we’re made for each other. We help one another. We brighten each other’s day. I tell him that he always makes it better.

I want him. I need him. I long for him.

Unfortunately, he can’t come over for Thanksgiving, but we’re skyping. It will be our one month anniversary on Thanksgiving too! I can’t expect him to come over while his sister, husband, baby & her husband’s family get together at his house. Why the hell would I get mad at that? Am I insane? Am I crazy? Nope. I’m not mad in the least bit.

Disappointed. That sums up my feelings, but today when he tells me he can’t come over, I don’t show it because I don’t want to make him feel worse. That’s not the object here people. We are out to make each other feel better, not destroy one another. So, I told him not to worry about it, it’s okay. You haven’t spent any time with your sister, that’s important.  It is.

On Sunday we will see each other because he’s coming to NYC with me. We are having lunch & hanging out. He told me, I can hold you. Okay, dear, darling, that’s the object of the trip, huh? To “hold me” on the train. I don’t mind at all, but that was kind of random for him to say. It’s okay. It’s alright.

A few days before all of this occurred, I’m talking to him & he asks, so, how’s your relationship going?  First of all, what do I say other than perfect, great, fantastic, amazing? I don’t want to display too much excitement because I don’t want to make him feel too bad. I hide my excitement & say, It’s going pretty good. I don’t have other words to share.

In fact, I don’t want to share them. I want to keep them, cherish them, hide them, appreciate them and keep them for myself. I’m selfish. I want them only for myself.

My boyfriend just really knows how to calm me down from one of my angry spurts.

He just knows.

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