I just can’t get enough of him!

I can still smell the scent of him on my black and purple jacket that I hugged him in. I can still  feel his lips on mine. I can still hear his words say, I don’t want to leave, but I have to. My lipstick is smeared from the multiple kisses we share throughout the night. The next time we’ll see one another is Sunday, but it feels like SUCH a long time.

I think, ponder, wonder about him. Is he “the one?” I’m thinking about it more & more as we get to know each other. He left merely a half an hour ago and yet, I miss him. My heart aches for him. I want to see him, feel him, talk to him, kiss him, hug him, care for him & rub him.

I soak him up with his smile.

Entry after entry after entry focused on him & our encounters. Many tolls paid back & forth to see each other on cold, winter nights. Our drives. Our talks. Our meetings.

My cousin and aunt might be over on Sunday, he shares with me when we talk about the next time we’ll see one another. Nervous. Apprehensive, I feel. to meet another component of his family. I want you to meet Anna, he says to me on our drive to Dave & Busters, which is his sister. She knows about me.

I might tell you that I’m beginning to fall for him. Only beginning though. I won’t share this with him because it’s only the start. Our start. I could see myself being with him for a long time. Gosh, his scent, his caringness, his sweetness is so invigorating.

I have to go, he says while we shiver together outside in the chill breeze. I stand outside with him hugging & passionately kissing him. I know that it’s freezing, but I want him. I want him so bad.

I have such strong feelings for him that I can’t describe them to you.

From how he holds my hand, cares for me, kisses me, hugs me, looks at me, compliments me, to how he protects me. EVERYTHING & ANYTHING that he does is great.

I can’t get enough of him. He’s MINE. Now I understand how other girls feel when they describe how much they care for their boyfriend. I completely comprehend those words. I truly do.

This is the worst part of the night, I mutter as he gets up to put his jacket on. He agrees. He places it over his shoulders then sits really close to me stroking the hair out of my face, where he can see my eyes, his favorite part of me. Your hair is always in the way, he says with a smile. I know.  I know.

I HATE goodbyes. At the same time, who likes them?!  I know that Sunday will come faster than I think. At the same time, I don’t want it to come too quickly because my brother goes back to Tennessee next Friday for the whole month of January. THAT will be hard too because after he leaves, if he gets a job, that’s all. That’s all folks! He’s gone. He moves wherever his job is. I hope it’s in NYC because I could be working there as well. THAT would be cool! We’ll see.

As for the boyfriend, I just can’t get enough of him!

I just can’t wait to start the New Year with him!

Christmas Day.

The clock strikes 6:30, the time he gets off work. We have Christmas plans. He will go home & shower then head over so him, the family & I can explore & gaze at Christmas lights around the area.

7:54 p.m. hits & here he is with a white & red bag. We were exchanging gifts later that night. Before that, we planned to see our first walk through light show. We go to this house every year to check out their latest decorations. However, this year is different because he’s coming with us. He & I sit in the back whispering & giving one another longing glances. We smile with no words to say. The feelings are mutual & we know the smile that forms on our faces means the same thing. At times, there is nothing to say, so instead we show the smile.

He sits next to me looking at the lights, concentrating on the colors & I think to myself, he’s so cute. The way his eyes light up when he sees the show is overwhelming. Those eyes. His eyes.

The night before he says, I always tell you that you’re beautiful, but I never tell you why I think that. I think my favorite thing about you is your pretty eyes.  There it is, my eyes. I would have to say that my favorite part of him is his eyes. The sincereness that they exemplify, the way he looks at me, & how he talks to me with a low, soft voice, while his gazes into my eyes.

His touch. His smile. His hair.

Later that night, we exchange gifts. You can go first, he says as he pushes the bag close to me. The card is first, which I continue to read over & over. Enclosed, there is a lot of writing.

Isn’t it funny how a simple elevator ride can change everything? 

Going back to that elevator ride.

On the morning of September 28th, my train arrived at school a bit late. As I headed for the elevator, there were no concrete thoughts that entered my mind. Rather, I was more so concerned with being late to my 11:00 class. I walked up to the elevator waiting area where I saw him, with 2 students in front of me also taking the elevator. I became nervous because I KNEW it was “the moment.” I began to wimp out, think that I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to put that much energy into it. I didn’t feel like it. As the elevator doors opened, the students headed for the elevator. He was before me & as soon as I entered, he looked at me & I said it, “I just noticed this, you’re in 2 of my classes.” The first things I noticed were his braces & how he listened to me when I spoke to him. I was having a bit of trouble with our capstone paper topics & let him know. He smiled a bit. He told me he was going to his friend’s that weekend for his bachelor’s party & he would have to take the Philip Roth book up with him to read. As we entered class he says, “You’re Hope, right?”  I say, “Yes. And, you’re Matt?”  YUP!  

The whole class I thought of a plan, I would ask him to help me with my paper topic. So, if we happened to walk out of the room at the same time, I would mention it to him. We did. I said to him, “Hey Matt. I kind of need someone else’s opinion on my paper topic, do you think I could email it to you?”  He wanted to get together instead. He quickly wrote out his email & handed it to me in sloppy handwriting asking, “Can you read this?”  “Yes,” I replied. 

THAT was the start. Our start. All from an elevator ride. To think back to that moment is incredible. To think where we started until NOW.

We’ve been together for 2 months & 4 days! Going back to my entries is nuts! I’m very sentimental & love to look back at memories & important, memorable moments.

After the card, I opened his two presents. I first one was a pink ornament with my name, Hope. He ordered it. Second, was a Hello Kitty necklace. I love both the gifts. As he read his card, he stroked my arm & chuckled as he read through my feelings.

We’re both going to spill our guts out in these cards, I wrote. He loved my gifts.

After that, we sat by the fire where he told me, There’s no other place I’d rather be, while I blushed a bright red. Compliment after compliment after compliment. Meanwhile, I blush and blush and blush.

You’re all I need, dear, he shares as we sit by the burned out fire. He cuddles & holds me tight while we watch it fizzle out.

He shares his feelings, thoughts without hiding anything from me. We discuss writers & he says, I love having someone I can talk to this stuff about with. I agree. I always agree.

He can’t leave. I don’t want him to leave. He has to stay with me. He has to spend the night so we can talk, share & speak the whole night. My mom said he can stay over. I’m looking forward to one of those days. We will see each other in the morning. Me without makeup, though he would still tell me I look beautiful.

He sits Indian style when we finish the night discussing the next time we’ll see each other, tomorrow. He touches my face & puts his hand through my light brown hair. He loves to touch my hair & face.

10/5/2012:  A Memory of you.

“Sitting on the train after hugging her goodbye and as the train pulled away I could see her holding back a smile. This makes me feel good. I asked her on a date and I think we are kind of starting something.” 

I read this in his card, so nicely put that I can’t help but have tears in my eyes & smile. I kiss him after I read those words and open the two wonderful gifts.

Aren’t I lucky? his text messages say often, as well as, You mean so much to me, Hope. 

Lucky. Fortunate. Elevator. Memories. Touch. Smile. Laugh. Giggle. Poke. No words. Daydream. Feelings. Thoughts. Dreams. Fast. Slow. Temple. Discuss. Love. Talk. Speak. Christmas. Presents. Writing. Writer.

Our first Christmas was successful.

Is this really happening, I ask myself on this dreary, rainy night while my brother & parents goof around playing monopoly in the kitchen. I tend to stick in my room to get my thoughts out. I’ve been with people all day & I just need a break. Rather, at times, I keep to myself & love to be in my room writing.

I’ve never felt like this before, I share with my mom as she comes in my room to see how I’m doing. She says, It’s nice to see you so happy, Hope. She smiles & I smile back.

I wake up thinking about him. I can’t stop thinking about him today. Our night enters in & out of my mind as I serve drinks to customers at the local Barnes & Noble cafe.  I wear his necklace proudly when I start my shift. No one sees it or asks about it. Not yet, at least!

There’s so much to say. There’s never enough time in the day to hang out. There are always restrictions, barriers, challenges, stops, freezes & halts. But, even with the holds, he’s still worth it. I DO truly believe he is worth it.

If we’re still together, hopefully we will be, I want you to know that I take Valentine’s Day seriously, I say to him while we talk in my living room near the blinking lights on the tree. Are you afraid of what the future will bring? he asks with sadness in his eyes. YES! What will happen between us? Will we stay together forever? Too soon. Too early to tell.

I could see us being together for a while, he responds with a smile. But, what if you get tired of the ride or I get tired of the ride?, I ask.  Sweetie, I might get tired of the drive, but I won’t get tired of seeing you. I smile, of course.

It’s true, things can change in a matter of a few months. But, I hope they WON’T! He’s THE sweetest guy I’ve ever met.

I look forward to creating many more memories with you, sweetie. Me too!

I just can’t wait to start the New Year with him!

I can’t wait to spend the whole night with him on our very first Christmas <3

His lips on mine. His smile. His touch. His hugs. His braces.

This “him” I’m pertaining to is my boyfriend, not my ex.

And, I miss him. I love spending time with him. Our first Christmas is today. This will be my first Christmas with a boyfriend since 2009. The BEST boyfriend in the world. I can’t even describe to you my feelings for him. We’re crazy about each other. As I’m thinking back to that first elevator ride up to the 11th floor, I laugh & smile to myself. He just so happened to be on the elevator THAT day, at the same time as me. We talked. It was never awkward between us. We get along so well. We share stories, laugh, smile & giggle. Gosh do I miss him sitting here.

We will celebrate our first Christmas together as a couple.

You’re all I need, dear, he whispers in my ear as we cuddle on his couch. Those words are often said & he means it.

On our 2-month anniversary, which was the 22nd, I received a text from him, Two months by your side… I know maybe its not the longest time, but you mean more to me than youll ever know, Hope. Youre beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, unique and kind and im so lucky to have you in my life.  Talk about an amazing guy. 

At moments, I can’t even believe THIS is happening. It’s unreal, it’s a fantasy, it’s a dream. Wake me up soon because I don’t want to get my hopes up & begin to believe this is real life. It’s too perfect.

Gosh, he’s great & awesome.

Let’s count how many times he compliments me.

Then, he hands me a $5 bill for my toll & tells me he wants me to get home safe as we part ways. He’ll miss me.

His eyes are so sincere. He speaks in a soft, low voice to convey important messages, to assure me his feelings & that everything will be okay. He explains concepts & other things in elaborate ways in order for me to understand. He gets me & I get him.

He’s such a sweetheart. He constantly says, I’m so lucky to have you, when in reality, I AM the lucky one. I met a guy that would do ANYTHING for me. He supports me & doesn’t judge me.

I can’t wait to spend the whole night with him on our very first Christmas ❤

Health & Fitness staff writer: Some final advice.

So, in the midst of preparing for final papers, final exams and final materials to hand in, some of us are also saying our final goodbyes. This may be my final semester at the big TU, but that doesn’t mean that I will forget where I started. I started as a health food junkie and I’m leaving here a health food junkie.

Through my numerous articles, I’ve given you a gift—some hearty healthy eating and exercising advice to snack on!  My hope is that you took some of my knowledge and incorporated it into your own life.

It seems that along the way, we usually learn something about ourselves. For me, I’ve learned that even though, while working out you may feel the burn, you should never give up. This pertains to life as well. You should never give up on your dreams just because someone tells you that you can’t because guess what ladies, you can! You can lose that weight. You can eat fruits and veggies instead of downing that entire carton of ice cream. It’s about portion and self-control.

Here’s a secret to share– I’ve struggled with weight all my life. From being rail thin in elementary school to thicker in middle school to feeling confident in college. I’ve progressed in such a rapid manner that now, I feel confident in my own skin.

Since winter break is fast approaching, this seems like the perfect opportunity to get fit. The holidays leave us indulging in cakes and desserts, but not this time. It’s your time to shine and scold yourself if you get off track. Try this on for size, get a friend to support you on this journey of healthy eating and/ or losing weight. Hey,you  just might find that it’s easier with a partner by your side!

Along with my constant reminder of healthy eating, I also want to bring up the articles I originally focused on in this past spring–relationships.  We may meet a special guy or gal along the way through our college journey. To you, maybe this sounds like a valedictorian speech or what not, but this is merely instances that occur in life during our studies. For myself, who knew I would meet a guy in my last semester at TU? You just never know who you’ll meet and find in the process. You could potentially find your soul mate at college.

I leave you with these final words, always believe in yourself and remember, if you want those Jillian Michaels’ abs I’m always referring to, you have to fight for them!

Stay in touch! Hopeandlove89@gmail.com

XOXO.

Oh, and, did I tell you how much I L.O.V.E Magazine Writing?!

Passions floating. Dreams coming true. Nervousness kicks in in high gear. Fears & emotions shine through me like the sun in the sky. I’m scared, petrified & apprehensive of my future, my relationship, my life.

I’m officially done school. I will either graduate next month or in May. The point is I’m done. No more homework. No more papers. No more classes. It’s depressingly sad & bitter-sweet at the same time. I feel so many ways I can hardly describe them. Happy. Sad. Nervous. Content. Glad.

Decisions. Decisions. Now, the time has come where I enter the “real world.” This “real world” that people speak about sounds as if it’s the end of the world. The question I hate to answer, “So, now that you’ve graduated, what’s next?” Don’t ask me such a question while every college student is struggling to make it in this so-called world because of the economy. In order to get your dream job, you need to have several components like EXPERIENCE & about FIVE DEGREES. How is that possible to achieve when we’re all struggling to get by, struggling with money?! No way, no how. It’s hard, but we must NEVER give up. I’ll NEVER give up on writing. I’ve been writing since the ripe age of 6? I’ve loved it ever since. To think back to when I was a child & I knew my career already. I KNEW I wanted to be a writer. Through the years, the question, “What kind?” came to mind. There were so many different ones: book writer, newspaper writer, business writer, blogger, freelancer or magazine writer. The last one was it. I KNEW it in my bones & every part of my body. I began reading & studying magazines, Cosmopolitan, which is my favorite, Self, Shape, Fitness, Glamour, Seventeen & Redbook. There were several to choose from on the shelf. I loved every minute of it. The style. The voice. The audience. I fell in love with magazines & my dream became a reality when I became the Health & Fitness staff writer for Her Campus Temple’s online magazine. THAT was my first exposure to writing for a magazine. I would create & think of pitches every week & write whatever my little heart desired.

Again, I fell even more in love with Magazine Writing. I wished that I minored in it instead of Spanish. I would have loved to major in that when I got to Temple, but I didn’t decide this until I got to Temple that I really WANTED magazine writing. Even though my passion lies in magazine writing & I didn’t major or minor in it, I still have experience with it.

I can’t even describe to you my feelings toward writing for magazines. From the fruitful & playful language to the celebrity interviews to the colorful pages. I love it all. The passion that lives inside of me & is intense. My hope is to bring it out full throttle WHEN I get a magazine writing job ;]

Oh, and, did I tell you how much I L.O.V.E Magazine Writing.