I’m starting to love myself.

I sat and waited. Waited until I blasted my brains out. I’d constantly check my email about 4-5 times per day, always refreshing the page, but nothing came. I thought the interview went quite well, but so did the one before that and the other one. I was annoyed that I wasn’t getting my answer. Good or bad, I wanted to know. I had to know soon enough. I drove myself crazy, with my heart beating a mile a minute whenever I’d get an email. I hoped, prayed, wished for it to happen. I wanted it so badly that I could taste it in my mouth. With every bone in my body, I wanted this.

So, I emailed my editor to check in. To my surprise, she told me she was waiting on the Managing Editor. I had no clue if that meant I had it or what, but I hoped for the best and tried not to think about it. I wanted to distract myself by doing other activities, but nothing worked of course. My mind always wandered to the final decision. To put it simple, I no longer wanted to wait.

A few days passed and still nothing. Out of nowhere, a woman from HR contacted me and telling to fill out this application ASAP! But, I was at work at the time, so it would have to wait. I was so pissed, so annoyed that I had to work on this night while I was supposed to fill out this paperwork. After work, I rushed home to apply.

After three days, my email came confirming I had obtained the internship. I swear, I just sat there reading and re-reading the email over and over again. Huh? Was it real life? Was I really just graced with this glorious opportunity? My jaw literally dropped as I corresponded with my editor about the days of work. I would make my way to New York City, once again, to fulfill my dreams as a magazine writer. I’d be surrounded by magazine peeps, my peeps and I loved it. They loved this industry just as much as I. I would soak it up and live it up. I would gain plenty of knowledge and not give up.

I couldn’t be happier. I missed those NYC trips to the core. I could dress up in fashionable attire and lipstick. This allowed me to quit my retail job, which I was especially happy about!

I’m moving over on the career ladder instead of staying put. It’s my time to shine and nothing will get in my way. I love magazines. I love writing. I love dressing up. I love being a girl. I love being small. I’m truly beginning to love myself. For real this time. 100% .

So, when I joyously gave me two weeks, I was excited to see the next chapter in my life. What would happen? Would I still long for those Temple Days? Not as much & I loved that. I missed those days to the core & this might make me think of my career path instead of the past.

But, truly and finally, I’m starting to love myself!


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