One Year Later.

8/31/2014–

Last Day of August. 10 Days since I turned 25. Unofficial last day of summer. A year since I went to the Poconos with my bestie. One year since I claimed that I didn’t need nor want a man. I wanted to be “independent.”

Let’s travel back to a year ago–

 

I just want to learn to rely on myself more.

 

I think I’m ready.

I think I’m ready to embrace the changes in my life. I think I’m ready to face them head on & not be as afraid. I think I’m ready to be grateful & appreciate my surroundings, the good things in life, the good friends and family I have, the special moments that happen.

I saw a coyote today while strolling through the forest with my bestie. We witnessed real, true nature today & it got me thinking. I appreciated it. I got dirty & filthy, but still had a nice time. We spoke about deep thoughts on that long car ride. We divulged some interesting facts about one another, which brought us closer together.

Road trips make you think & you feel so refreshed after the trip.

The past is the past & I thoroughly enjoyed my days of Temple University, but I will also miss this time in my life, this moment in life when I can act silly, fun, careful & single. I can do whatever I want with whomever I want. I don’t need to worry about calling my man to tell him what I’m up to. I don’t need to worry about how much time I spend with my girls while he gets annoyed sitting at home. I don’t need to worry about asking how his day is going or what he’s doing. I don’t need to worry about anyone but myself. Selfish? Maybe, but that’s where I’m at.

I want to stop worrying about a man in order to be happy. I can be happy being single & relying on myself. I want to make myself stronger without a man. I want to become independent & not worry about some guy who will save me from every little thing. I won’t always have that in my life & I need to learn that now. I must lean on myself for support.

In the end, I’m the only one who will be there. Sure, I’ll have friends, but what happens when they simply can’t be there? Then, there’s just little ol’ me. ME. Hope Marie Kumor. She’s the one.

I just want to learn to rely on myself more.

 

Oh, I remember. I remember this day clearly. It was the end of the summer and Jess & I were getting ready for the fall. She was seeing this guy on & off. She was working FT, but hated her job. She was searching for something, but truly didn’t know what it was. She was lost and so was I.

ONE YEAR AGO– I was working at Barnes & Noble as a barista/book seller. I felt like a loser. I was a college graduate and still working in a retail store! I just upset and felt like shit. I was still reeling from my ex-boyfriend. I wanted him back, but what I really missed was knowing someone was there when you needed them. It was a constant and I loved that! I kept reminding myself that I was good on my own. I was good to go. But, for the first time, I really was though. I had so much ahead and didn’t want a guy blocking my way. I wanted an elaborate life filled with jewels, glamor and NEW YORK CITY!! 

I dreamt of New York City and wanted to move there so badly! I wanted NYC and I tried everything I could to make my dream come true. My dreams become a bit closer when I obtained an internship at Family Circle Magazine as a home decor intern. Around that same time, I met a guy. He was special, different and pretty cool. I wasn’t over my ex yet though. I still longed for him and didn’t want Brett.

Isn’t it strange to think about the progress you’ve made in a year? I’ve become more mature, more grown-up, less afraid, more open, smarter, wiser and less naive. I’ve essentially become more in tune with reality. Previously, I was living in a dream state. I wanted this & that & was too hard on myself when it didn’t happen. It takes time. I must be patient. POSITIVE.

Where were YOU one year ago?

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