Things have changed in the past year.

K. So. Let’s see here… one year ago yesterday, OCTOBER 16TH, was THE first time I hung out with my now-boyfriend. We met at Planet Fitness in Langhorne. Literally, this guy thought I wouldn’t show. He kept saying that over & over again. When it comes to dates, I’m damn good!

At 12:30, we were set to meet at PF, work out and enjoy some scrumptious food at TGI Fridays! I was scared shitless & nervous to the core. He tried calling me two nights before that, but I was too frightened to pick it, Um. I have to say, I hate talking on the phone, but now, it’s different. I love hearing Brett’s voice. Though, I’d so rather hang with him face-to-face, but it’s better than a text message. Therefore, on the days we can’t see each other, I look forward to our phone calls. But, before, I was petrified like a child.

I was sort of hiding in the locker room before he texted me and told me to quit hiding! (How did he know?)  When we came face-to-face, he hugged me stating how cute I actually was. Literally, we hit it off. We were off to the races and walked on the treadmill first. Oh, boy, I remember it. I remember EVERYTHING about it,–from start to finish.

We chatted. Worked out. And, most of all, it was not awkward at all. In fact, it’s NEVER been awkward. Ever. I could talk to him every day & never get tired if him.

You see, most girls want a guy. They’re yearning, desiring, looking & longing to be in a committed relationship. They often dream of a Nicholas Sparks romance like in the movies. Who doesn’t want that kind of love though? I know it’s not reality, but everyone can fantasize how they’d like it to be. As I stated before— on several occasions— I got damnnn lucky with my man.

I think back to how I was a year ago. Do you ever do that? Think back to how you once were. I mean, I was a sad sap.  Desperate. Looking for a guy to fulfill my void. I was in search of something, but couldn’t figure it out.  TBH– I’m still in search of something; careerwise. What the hell is it? Will I ever get it? Will I ever obtain my dream gig? If so, when? When will it happen? I’m sick of waiting. Sick of looking, soul-searching & yearning for it.

I mean, I’ve found the one. He’s everything I need & more. I’m just trying to think 2013 Hope Kumor. I was different. I had just met Brett Evans. How the fuck could I have put this guy in the friend zone? I cannot believe that happened, but it did. It’s real. It’s reality. He did not have to accept my date. Our third date was a “double date” with my bestie and her man. I simply asked him if he’d like to tag along. My bestie told me not to give up on him.

It was me. I was messed up. I was so indecisive & still am. But, to think that I could have ruined everything makes me absolutely sick. I would have regret it. I knew there something there, but I was so fucking scared. I’m telling you. I was caught up in my dream of becoming a magazine writer and trying to decide if I wanted or needed a boyfriend. I was all out of sorts living my New York dream. You see, my career always came first. Well, that was until I met the love of my life, Brett. He altered me, but in a good way. He taught me so much. I learned about myself through him.

I once had notes on my mirror stating, “You are gorgeous” “You are beautiful” “Love yourself.” He entered my room, saw them & asked why they were there. Um. I wasn’t so confident. There are days I feel more confident than others. But, I must tell you, a year ago, I was not as confident as I am now. 

Brett taught me to love myself, dress more confident and not to be afraid to grow the hell up. He also taught me I’m a lot better looking than I found myself to be. He was my teacher &  professor teaching me something every day! I love him for it. I fell in love with his mind, body & soul.

Things have changed. Yes, they’ve changed a lot in the past year!

Me.

(SEPTEMBER 2013)

MEE

(SEPTEMBER 2014)

#Chchchanges

Blast From The Past!

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OCTOBER 2013–

So much was happening around this time last year– New York. Brett. Missing Temple.  Those three things were HUGE in the life of Hope Marie Kumor.

I was experiencing so much at the same time. I was trying to look for a job while interning for Family Circle Magazine. I was so unsure of myself. I wasn’t certain who I was, where I was going or what I was doing. I wasn’t even sure about having a boyfriend. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was so all over the place. I couldn’t get my head straight.

October 11, 2013– I was having long & elaborate conversations with Mr. Brett Evans. When we first starting speaking, on October 6th, 2013, I KNEW he was special. I knew it in my heart, but I was so scared. I wasn’t certain with myself, so how could I care for another person? I was trying to balance living my New York City dream with having a potential relationship. I wasn’t easy for me because I was just trying to figure out mu life in general. What the hell was I doing?

As Miranda Priestly put it in The Devil Wears Prada, “Oh, don’t be silly – EVERYONE wants this. Everyone wants to be us.” My friend Jen, who was interning at the same time said to me, “Do you know how lucky we are? Do you know how many girls would kill for this?” BINGGGG– I knew it. She knew it. We knew it. There are so many girls trying to break into the industry and we were in. We were there.

Even though I was only getting paid $7.25, I loved interning for a magazine. I mean, sure, there were days where I HATED New York. I hated the subways, the amount of money I was spending, the commute, but then, I stepped back and thought about how fucking lucky I was to obtain this internship. Would I move to NYC to fulfill my dream or run scared? I headed up changing my mind because of how the industry made me feel. I felt like I was below everyone. No one really made me feel 100% welcome.

Okay, I wasn’t like looking for someone to roll a welcome mat out for me. After all, who the hell was I? I was just another face in the crowd. I was nothing to them. Sure, I knew that deep down, but I wanted it so badly that I didn’t care. Whatever.

Interning. Starting a relationship. Figuring myself out. Job searching. I was on a rocky boat trying to stay afloat. It was quite difficult, but I somehow made it work. I loved everything about New York– at the time– and wanted to be engrossed in this industry with these fabulous ladies. I wanted nothing more than to make a GIANT leap. I was aiming for the stars and didn’t want to just settle. I couldn’t settle. I was better than that. At the same time, could I? Could I really just up & move to New York? Was I that decided? I didn’t have a fucking clue. 

Unsure. Scared. Frightened. Skeptical. Those are ALLLL the words to describe Hope Kumor, October 2013.

Gosh, what a BLAST FROM THE PAST!!!

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(October 2013– Meredith Corporation Bathroom. I’m such a goober!)