So much was happening around this time last year– New York. Brett. Missing Temple. Those three things were HUGE in the life of Hope Marie Kumor.
I was experiencing so much at the same time. I was trying to look for a job while interning for Family Circle Magazine. I was so unsure of myself. I wasn’t certain who I was, where I was going or what I was doing. I wasn’t even sure about having a boyfriend. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was so all over the place. I couldn’t get my head straight.
October 11, 2013– I was having long & elaborate conversations with Mr. Brett Evans. When we first starting speaking, on October 6th, 2013, I KNEW he was special. I knew it in my heart, but I was so scared. I wasn’t certain with myself, so how could I care for another person? I was trying to balance living my New York City dream with having a potential relationship. I wasn’t easy for me because I was just trying to figure out mu life in general. What the hell was I doing?
As Miranda Priestly put it in The Devil Wears Prada, “Oh, don’t be silly – EVERYONE wants this. Everyone wants to be us.” My friend Jen, who was interning at the same time said to me, “Do you know how lucky we are? Do you know how many girls would kill for this?” BINGGGG– I knew it. She knew it. We knew it. There are so many girls trying to break into the industry and we were in. We were there.
Even though I was only getting paid $7.25, I loved interning for a magazine. I mean, sure, there were days where I HATED New York. I hated the subways, the amount of money I was spending, the commute, but then, I stepped back and thought about how fucking lucky I was to obtain this internship. Would I move to NYC to fulfill my dream or run scared? I headed up changing my mind because of how the industry made me feel. I felt like I was below everyone. No one really made me feel 100% welcome.
Okay, I wasn’t like looking for someone to roll a welcome mat out for me. After all, who the hell was I? I was just another face in the crowd. I was nothing to them. Sure, I knew that deep down, but I wanted it so badly that I didn’t care. Whatever.
Interning. Starting a relationship. Figuring myself out. Job searching. I was on a rocky boat trying to stay afloat. It was quite difficult, but I somehow made it work. I loved everything about New York– at the time– and wanted to be engrossed in this industry with these fabulous ladies. I wanted nothing more than to make a GIANT leap. I was aiming for the stars and didn’t want to just settle. I couldn’t settle. I was better than that. At the same time, could I? Could I really just up & move to New York? Was I that decided? I didn’t have a fucking clue.
Unsure. Scared. Frightened. Skeptical. Those are ALLLL the words to describe Hope Kumor, October 2013.
Gosh, what a BLAST FROM THE PAST!!!
(October 2013– Meredith Corporation Bathroom. I’m such a goober!)