Maybe That’s The Point.

Maybe that’s the point. 

I’ve been going through SO MUCH between my car troubles and feeling so ill that I’m unable to go to work. These two situations have consumed my entire life lately. I haven’t been able to attend work all week because I’ve had an ongoing sickness and my car has needed repairs, which has drained my bank account.

But, it was supposed to show me something though and I understand it.

It was meant to teach me to appreciate others around me and stop taking everyone for granted. I mean, damn, 2015 has been horrible thus far. But, maybe that was the point.

In the past few weeks, I have truly learned that my parents, boyfriend and his folks would support me no matter what. My parents were there to care for me when I needed them along with my boyfriend, who was very patient, kind and sweet to me as well as his folks, who kept checking on me to see if I needed anything while I was sick.

Going through this shit was a test and I passed because I am much more appreciative than I’ve ever been. Trust me. I’ve learned so much the past month and a half and I would not take it back for anything.

Thanks so much to all those who care and support me through thick & thin. XOXO.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. jdtophd says:

    Hi. I opened your blog when your article was first published in xoJane, but only just got around to looking at it. As a person who lost absolutely everything (job, house, possessions, savings, etc etc) to cancer at the age of 33, and who has an amazing fiancé who spent 5 years living on the streets, I wanted to see more of the innocence of a person fortunate enough to know so little about life. At your age, I was recovering from a heroin addiction and paying my way through school to ultimately become an attorney. My fiancé was a heroin/methadone/Xanax/crack addict at your age. He still had a few friends with couches to crash on at that point, he wasn’t yet sleeping outdoors in the Northeast winters, begging for money and spending his days looking for ways to survive, but his whole family had already died of overdoses and he had nobody to look to for support. Your story is a fairytale to us. Even your bad start to 2015 sounds pretty damn good, to be honest.

    It seems to me you’ll learn your lesson, truly see where you went wrong, only with time. I wouldn’t try to make yourself look better. Doing that is transparent and ineffective. Just be yourself and be thankful you haven’t seen much of what life can hand you. Many of us have, and it’s not pretty. People like us pray that people like you never have to see our side of life. If you ever get a glimpse into our world, you’ll start to understand how your article and apology affected people.

    But all that is beside the point. I actually want to comment about writing. Don’t spend any more time blaming your high school. A lot of one’s writing ability is innate. What isn’t innate, though, comes from reading. I’m considered a good writer. I don’t enjoy it in the slightest, but I developed an ability through years of voracious reading. Everything from tacky magazines like Teen and Sassy (when I was younger), to the great classics of literature, to the works of countless philosophers. I further developed my ability to write through years of college and law school, but that was due to practice rather than education.

    If you want to be a great writer, start reading. If you already read, double the time you spend, and try some more challenging material. If you like to go out two nights a week, cut one of those nights out and read instead. If you go out only once a week, then cancel your plans every other week and read instead. Read the classics so you understand references. Read Bukowski and Burroughs so you at least have a sense of what life can be like. Read about the lives of poor people (Barbara Ehrenreich is a good start) and addicts and the homeless and the incarcerated so your writing begins to show more empathy and understanding. Read the works of the great philosophers – not just the ones you are assigned in school – so you can challenge yourself in both reading and thinking. Skip the popular novels, the New York Times bestsellers, the Oprah recommendations. Those are written to the lowest common denominator. You need to be familiar with the best before you can dream of writing a novel. Without a deep understanding of language and storytelling, your work will not stand the test of time. If you’re looking to make a quick buck, maybe it doesn’t matter. But to produce quality work, you will need to first step far out of your comfort zone. It’s not easy and it’s not glamorous. But it’s what worked for me, and it is what any professional writer will tell you.

    I wish you the best of luck. I hope you live a life that prevents you from ever fully understanding why the article and companion apology rubbed so many the wrong way. I hope your writing career is successful. Just remember it takes work and sacrifice. Don’t look to the past to explain your shortcomings. Instead, recognize them and do everything it takes to move forward. And never forget that life is short. Make the most of every moment. Far too many people don’t realize how important that is until it’s much too late.

    1. Relationship columnist♥ says:

      Hello love– First off, I’m so sorry for your situation. I truly feel for you and hope things have gotten better.

      I appreciate you taking the time to write about your experience. I do understand now why so many were offended when I wrote that. But, as I stated, offending wasn’t the point of writing it. Instead, I was very frustrated and took it out in the article. Some was fabricated and the other parts, were really how I felt at the time. Looking back, I regret writing this piece. Until I endure true hardships, I’ll never truly understand. I have a lot to learn and I know it.
      Thanks for the advice as well.

      Good luck to you! xo

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