Deciding What I Want

How do you truly know if you’re ever making the right decision?

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Also, what the heck is “the right decision?” How will you ever know the right direction to take? I suppose not.

Life is about taking chances, screwing up and being strong enough to pick up the pieces. At times, you question whether or not you can do so.

I’ve said several times over: I want to be a writer.

Since I was a young kid, I’ve always had a knack for writing. I knew how to write a story and allow others to feel the emotion behind my writing. I wanted people to connect with me and be on the same level. I wanted to reach out and speak to them through my writing.

I have some decisions to make in the next few days, Should I become a full-time freelance writer? Should I move to Tennessee with the man of my dreams?

The thing is: It’s way too expensive in my area to buy a house or apartment. Also, I do not want to live HERE the rest of my life. I want to relocate, get some freedom and grow the hell up.

Reality will surely settle in if I do decide to move to Tennessee. 

It’s one of THE biggest decisions I’ll ever make. Everyone around me tells me I’m rushing. “You’ve only been with him for 15 months..” Blah-blah-blah.

In the end, the only person I must listen to is myself. I would say, I really have to decide what I’d like to do career-wise. I’m thinking part-time job and do some serious writing on the side. It will take me a while to make enough for writing to be my career and I know that. I’m willing to do what it takes to become a writer though.

I just want to feel passionate about my job and love what I do. I want to wake up and instantly be happy and excited for the day, I want to write about things that make me feel all warm  and fuzzy inside.

In terms of a boyfriend, he’s merely part of your life. He is not your whole life. Maybe I’ve been relying too much on mine  to be my basis for being happy. I need to find happiness in other things and I know it. And, I do look for happiness in other ways. He’s not my whole source of happiness, but he’s a huge part. He is the only consistent thing going on in my life. Yes, I do have family and friends who are very supportive, but that’s it. Then…. there’s my writing.

With writing, I can be as creative as I’d like. I can talk and write for hours about various topics. I don’t have others telling me what to write, when to write it or how to write it. I am my own boss and I can go from whatever angle I’d like. Sure, I can always improve and better my writing skills.

            And, it’s time. It’s both time to make a decision and decide what I’d like to do career-wise.

Death of a Cat

Death.

Such a horrid thing. People die every day, every hour, in fact, every minute. We often cannot accept someone close to us passing away, but we take our mind off of it by distracting ourselves. We deal with death in various ways. Some may break down and cry and others might pretend as of nothing has happened.

This morning, around 7:30 a.m., my cat died. Sure, this cat was not a person and the pain isn’t as extreme, but it hurts. My mother brought me in the room where the dead cat was laying and I just stared at it. With its mouth open, I couldn’t look away. I didn’t express any sort of emotion, but that doesn’t mean I’m cold or not sad. It usually hits me later on in the day at a random hour. My mother, however, is different. She broke down in front of my very eyes while I tightly hugged her.

It’s quite sad. We’ve had this cat for about a year. It was a stray, so it wasn’t exactly healthy when we found him. BUT, we took him to the vet. A few days ago, he randomly started looking sick. My parents scheduled a vet appointment for tomorrow, but it was too late.

I feel ill. I feel ill and sad. I tell myself not to cry, but later on, when no one is looking, I just might. Today is the day where you just don’t mess with me. Ever have those days?

RIP– Pumpkin.

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5 Reasons Why Being The Nice Girl Just Plain Sucks

By Hope Kumor

At times, being the nice girl may work in your favor, but not when your co-workers are talking s*** behind your back and you haven’t a clue how to stick up for yourself. Sure, some may say “kill them with kindness.” While that could be the case in some instances, it won’t get you anywhere with others who have no soul.

Let’s put it this way: More than likely, others will view you as weak and you’ll be a main target. When you so sweetly offer a nice gesture, they will always accept it and see how far you can be pushed.

1. People take advantage of you.

As the nice girl, you work your ass off to get others to like you because you cannot stand the fact that anyone hates you. So you go out of your way to do favors for others but get absolutely nothing in return. No one ever offers to pick up some lunch for you or maybe your dry cleaning. You try to try your damnedest, but in the end people just take advantage of you.

2. You don’t know how to deal with confrontation.

More than likely, you never go out of your way to pick a fight with anyone because you cannot deal with confrontation. Most nice girls don’t have a mean bone in their body and wouldn’t confront someone head on. If Susie is talking about you, instead of going right to her, you may cower behind your desk and wait for her to shut her trap. Confrontation just plain sucks.

3. Some people hate nice girls.

If you’re the nice girl, you constantly push people into liking you by asking them if they need anything. After a while, people tend to get turned off by it and start to question how someone can be that nice. Well, if it’s in your nature to just be plain nice and polite, why should others have an issue with it? You aren’t harming them; in fact, you’re helping them. Why can’t we all get along?

4. It’s difficult to get ahead at work.

Whenever your boss asks you to perform a task, you do it! But if they do not provide you with a higher salary, you won’t question it. The thing is, nice girls are afraid to ask certain questions. They hate feeling uncomfortable—as most people do—so they won’t speak up and demand more money. Even though your boss has given you a more significant amount of work, you won’t ask.

5. You’re a small fish in a big pond.

At work, you stay with a certain group of people you’re most comfortable with. Most nice gals don’t step outside of their comfort zone due to fear. You stay with two to three people and refuse to venture out into a larger group because nice girls always stick to their own kind.

Circa Thought Catalog

5 Reasons Why Being The Nice Girl Just Plain Sucks 

Why can’t you “have it all?”

Who says you can’t have it all?

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All being: A great job, good partner, excellent friends and family and ultimately, a superb life. I know that nothing is perfect and I would never want it to be because perfect is just plain boring.

Do you ever feel as if you have so much potential yet, no one is willing to give you a chance?

Now, this could happen in any point of your life. You could be pursuing a guy who isn’t interested. You have so much potential in being a great girlfriend, yet he may not even give you the time of day. You end up being extremely frustrated because you thought the two of you were going to be an item, but you were sadly mistaken.

Maybe you’re going after a job you’re very much interested in but don’t have the credentials for it. You hope and pray that the company hands you the job because they see you possess drive, passion and willingness to learn and grow. But, in the end, you just aren’t what they’re looking for.

It hurts, It’ hurts very much to know you would strive to be the best damn employee they’ve ever had!

In life, there are people who are very lucky. They are able to just land a job they love in a short amount of time. At the same moment, they also get the dream partner. Everything is smooth sailing for them and rarely, they receive bad news. The question is: How the heck does that happen? 

For myself. I have a great family, awesome friends and a sweet boyfriend. Everyone supports me and is there for me no matter what! I’m pretty damn lucky actually. The missing piece of the puzzle lays in the job department.  No complaints here. Instead, I’m just reflecting on people who have it all and it’s still not enough.

I can tell you one thing, if I “had it all,” I would NOT be venting or complaining or anything because what is there to talk about? I have the best life possible.

I want you to take a sec and think about what good things you have in your life. Maybe “having it all” means something different to you. What is the definition for you?

The 14 Ingredients of a Lasting Relationship

So, I was chatting with a fellow blogger and we decided to publish guest posts for one another. She wrote this fabulous article about the key components to a lasting relationship!

Feel free to follow her blog!

by Chelsea Hetzel

http://inspirationindulgence.com

It is truly a blessing if you find someone in life who you are compatible with. Believe it or not, love can potentially add years to your life and is good for your overall health. According to the Longevity Project, research suggests that those in loving and caring relationships have overall better cardiovascular health, less depression and substance abuse, and a stronger immune system.

So what exactly are the key ingredients that make up a healthy, lasting relationship? I have whipped up a list of 14 key ingredients of a successful romantic relationship that I believe lead to marriage. Single? No worries! Now you will know what to look for in a relationship when the time presents itself; or perhaps you see a characteristic in this list and better understand why your past relationships have failed.

Trust

Without trust, there IS no relationship. If you find yourself questioning or not if you trust your partner, chances are that you don’t. Trust is essential for stability and emotional well-being. It is the backbone of a relationship; the glue that hold you two together. Period.

Equal Commitment

I see a lot of relationships fail because there is an off-balance of commitment to each other. Both partners need to be equally committed to working on the relationship as a whole. Relationships are team efforts; thus if one partner is not 100% committed, he or she is not in it for the long run.

Friendship

Think of when you and your partner are 70 years old when the initial lust and attraction is gone. Will you still be happy? A solid friendship is needed to stabilize a lasting relationship. Happy couples are not only romantic partners, they are best friends. They share their deepest fears with each other and are the shoulder to cry on when hard times are present. Think of a relationship as a sphere. The friendship represents the core of the sphere; the attraction and lust represents the outer shell.

Clear Communication

Communication is the key to success in any relationship. Without clear communication, one does not know their partners needs or desires, leaving lingering questions and insecurities. In addition, conflicts need to be worked out with an open communication style instead of concealing the problem or unleashing anger. Know your partner’s communication style and work on it together as a couple.

Same Humor Style

Everyone has a unique sense of humor. What I think is absolutely hilarious someone else may think is dumb. Obviously, having a good sense of humor is a great way to connect in a relationship. But delving into this a little deeper, finding someone who shares your specific sense of humor is a GREAT way to bond! In addition, having inside jokes just between the two of you is a fun way to stay connected.

Respect

Respect your significant others’ thoughts, opinions, body, family, values, and morals. And make sure YOU are respected as well. If there isn’t respect in a relationship, it is not healthy. You DESERVE to be respected, and someone who does not honor you is absolutely not worth it.

Romanticism

Call me old-fashioned, but I truly believe that romantic couples are happier. Romanticism shows thoughtfulness, love, and caring. Planning fun dates, making sweet gestures, going out of your way to open the car door or make a cup of coffee in the morning shows your partner that you are thinking about them even when you two are not together at the time. Give love, show emotion, and be affectionate.

Similarity

You know how they say, opposites attract? Well, this is a bunch of crock. It’s been proven in many studies that in fact, opposites do not attract and those who have more in common are more likely to be more attracted to each other. This should be a no brainer, right!

Spend Quality Time Together

Couples who are able to commit to spending quality time together have the most intimate relationships. As a person who endured a long-distance relationships for two years, I understand the importance of spending time together. Successful couples create time to connect together, even if they live extremely busy and hectic lives.

Own Up to Your Mistakes

If you are wrong, admit it. Don’t be selfish; you are NOT always right. Own up to your mistakes . . . and forgive your partner when they make their own.

Be Motivated About Something

It’s hard to be with someone who has no motivation to contribute anything to society. In addition to having relationship goals, it is important to have individual goals. This ingredient is all about the basics. Keep a job. Don’t sit on your bum all day. Be a productive member of society and show some passion about your individual interest.

Disagree

Disagreements will happen in relationships, and they are 100% healthy. You will never agree on completely everything because you are two different individuals. It is normal and functional to argue from time to time, as long as it is expressed in a mature way. Disagreements are a natural way of keeping each other in line and expressing yourself! Stand up for yourself! And it is okay to agree to disagree on certain issues. You don’t have to be EXACTLY similar.

Show Appreciation

Everyone needs to feel wanted and appreciated. It is a basic human need. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in our hectic lives and take our significant other for granted. Show some appreciation- whether it’s saying, “Thank you for always working so hard to support us,” at the end of the night, or texting “I love you,” at work.

Keep Things Fun

Keeping things exciting is key to not getting bored in your relationships. I understand that the comfort zone is cozy, but try to go out of your comfort zone every once in a while with each other. Try new foods and explore new restaurants, travel, go to a theater, go dancing, anything! Strong couples switch it up and know the importance of letting loose every once in a while.

Already have these characteristics in your relationship? Good for you! You are on your way. Read this to ensure you are continuously strengthening your bond and growing more intimate as the time passes.

Do you have anything else you think is worthy to add to this list? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for reading!

Chelsea

XOXO

Balancing Relationships and Studies

By Hope Kumor

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So we’re in the midst of pursuing a career in the major we’ve chosen. There is always homework to do, work to attend, situations that can’t help but arise and friends who complain that they never see you anymore. But on top of all that, you have to make time for a particular somebody that plays an important role in your life: your man. How do you divide time between writing hundreds of papers and the love of your life: by setting aside a certain amount of time in order to see him?

You’ve invested a lot of our precious time, money and energy into school so that should always come first. Even so, you cannot neglect your relationship completely. If you really care about the relationship, don’t put so much on your plate that you spend all your time in the books and no time with him. You have to be able to balance the two out to have a healthy relationship.

“My boyfriend and I usually put aside at least an hour on Saturdays to do homework, so both of us can keep up,” Jessica Wyatt, biology major said. “Once in a while I’ll see him one day during the week as well, but only if we’re both caught up on homework.”

Ka Li, also a biology major just started a relationship and they must figure out how much time to set aside for one another.

“I compromised with my boyfriend and we set up time to meet each other and time to study,” Li said.  “I will spend time with my boyfriend mostly on the weekends and on the weekdays we can see each other for just couple of minutes, and then sometimes we can study together.”

Studying with your boyfriend is a great idea that allows the two of you to be productive and still spend time with each other. This way, in between, you can joke and vent your frustrations while getting your work done.

We all have so much going on right now that we can barely breathe let alone have time for a boyfriend, but sometimes things happen unexpectedly. As we get older, it becomes much more important that we learn how to divide our time. What happens when we have a family and a career? Isn’t that the same sort of idea as this? Think of this balancing act as a way to prepare for the years that follow.

If you’re still asking yourself how else to balance schoolwork and bonding time, here are some tips:

1)      As I said before, study together. It’s a great way to spend time together and get your homework done at the same time. Who knows? Maybe after the homework’s done, you can study each other more.

2)      If you have to go somewhere like a play for a class, ask him to come along. It’s bonding time plus assignment time. It will work out great on both ends.

3)      If you can’t see him that day, talk to him on the phone or Skype with him. Even though you won’t be involved in physical contact, you will still get to hear how his day was and even feel like you’re next to him.

4)      Schedule some time to hit the gym together. You could even go bike-riding or out running. You can chat and get fit at the same time. Make it a thing for about thirty minutes a day. You should have at least 30 minutes to spare for your bf, right?

Remember that it’s crucial that we set aside special time with our significant others because if not, the relationship will suffer. It’s important to prioritize between homework and the boyfriend. In life in general, we need to be able to juggle everything even if it’s a difficult task. There’s not always going to be time unless you put the effort into making time!

From Her Campus Temple

Balancing Relationships and Studies

Inspiration.

So, are you in need of some inspiration and encouraging words?

Are you having a hard time coping with what’s occurring in your life? Are you sad, unhappy and depressed and need some UPLIFTING? Well, I’m here to lift your spirits.

Path

If you need anything, e-mail: hopeandlove89@gmail.com

I’d be more than happy to chat with you!

5 Reasons Why Life With A Boyfriend Is Better Than Living The Single Life!

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See, girls are so dependent on a guy that it’s often difficult to just be happy without one. As girls, we don’t always believe we can fully be happy without a guy. Those girls might be called needy or co-dependent, but having a boyfriend is better than being single. Who doesn’t like being able to feel close to someone and wanted at the same time?

The truth is: Every girl wants a boyfriend. Girls often complain that they need a guy in their lives to feel “complete.” To some girls, life doesn’t seem as worthy when there’s no guy by her side.  Some girls may debate this, but all-in-all, girls just want someone to cuddle with, love them and be there for them when they need someone.

  • A constant snuggle buddy.

Whenever you have a terrible day at work, all you want to do is come home to your man and cuddle. Life is better when you have a human teddy bear to lie on. You feel secure and comfortable being in his arms that you forget about how pissed your boss got when you fucked up on a huge project. Until tomorrow….

 

  • Always having someone there to vent to.

Let’s be honest: Girls need to vent. Whenever something bad happens, you either go to your closest gal pals or chat with your boyfriend about the situation. No matter what, you know your boyfriend will be there to lend an ear and comfort you when times are rough. He won’t ever snub you or make you feel like you’re being stupid because he’s on your team!

 

  • The way he looks at you!

This “look” makes you feel special, wanted and loved. When your eyes meet his, you feel like you’re the only girl in the world and that’s the greatest feeling ever.  Only your boyfriend gives you this glance and you cannot help but smile and coyly giggle.

 

  • You never feel lonely.

You know those nights where you yearn for human touch? You no longer need to feel a sense of loneliness because your boyfriend is there to fill that void. You don’t need look for other ways to feel less alone because your boyfriend will scoop you right up and hug you.

 

  • You can totally be yourself!

Not everyone will like your personality, but that’s okay because you know your number 1 fan will never get sick of you being you! Your boyfriend fell in love with you for being yourself, so you don’t need to hide or shield who you are. It’s a great feeling to just totally be you and not put on a front!

Why do we have to be so nasty to one another?

Let’s focus on: Saying Thank You.

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I’d say one of my biggest pet peeves is when others around me do not take the time to thank me for what I’m doing. I try my best and give my full effort in whatever I do. If you don’t like it, forget you. If I’m giving you my all, I’d like to believe you’d appreciate it. I cannot give you anymore. I’ve run out of juice, batteries and patience. I’ve given you all that I have and more. What else can I do for you? 

Is it so difficult to thank a person? I’m holding the door for you and you say nothing, nada. I give you something you ask for and you grab it out of my hand. It just really gets to me.

I’m very much polite and often say thank you too much– just my opinion. Why can’t others follow my lead? Why do people have to be so rude and demanding? Why must we live in a society where people don’t thank one another? It makes me sick how rude and ignorant people are to one another. 

Can’t we just get along?

You know, the world would be a better and nicer place if we didn’t argue, bicker or fight. I know that’s almost impossible, but do we really need random stabbing and shootings everywhere in the world? I believe if there was no hate, innocent bystanders wouldn’t be killed. It’s such a sad, sad world we live in.

I would say people in the South are much nicer than in states such as Pennsylvania. I’ve come across plenty of sweet and friendly folks in Tennessee and I’m hooked! Those people would appreciate me. They would stop and say thank you and give credit whenever I did something GREAT!

So, again, why do we have to be so nasty to one another?

Why is that again? Remind me, please.

Guest Blog Post: How to Avoid Over-Snacking

By Hope Kumor

So, I’m heading to kitchen to use the restroom when I see them. They’re small, powdery, and have a ton of carbs and plenty of ingredients I cannot pronounce. I dart into the bathroom so I no longer see them. But, when I emerge from washing my hands, they are sitting there staring at me. These “treats” are Little Debbie’s Sugary Donuts and they were haunting me whenever I had to walk into the kitchen.

Why are they so darn addicting though? Food Blogger of Glow by Lauren and Certified Clinical Nutritionist, Lauren Talbot gives us the low-down.

“Many inexpensive, shelf-stable food products, especially cookies, crackers, and pastry items, are loaded with highly processed ingredients, like refined flours and sugars and low quality oils and salts,” Lauren says. “Not only are each of these ingredients void of any nutrients, but refined grains and processed sugars are quickly assimilated into the bloodstream, processed as sugar, and can almost immediately spike blood insulin levels.”

Desserts such as Little Debbie’s can be quite difficult for your body to process.Lauren Talbot

Lauren Talbot

“Food products that contain ingredients that are hard to decipher, and contain a plethora of oils, sugars, salts, and refined flours are simply not food, period,” says Lauren. “The longer the shelf-life on a product, the harder is it for the body to breakdown and eliminate from the system, thus the more detrimental to the body.”

As a health & fitness gal, I tend to stay away from processed foods that make me yearn for me. I call them “fillers.” They tend to fill you up for a period of time, but then before you know it, your stomach is growling– once again.

I asked Lauren the best/worst brands of sweets.

“Always shoot for whole grain snacks, and ingredients you can pronounce and recognize their processing. Ideally, the best sweet we can enjoy is a ripe banana, with a handful of almonds, or a piece of fruit. Use raw honey to sweeten the deal if necessary,” says Lauren.”I generally recommend that my clients carry dark chocolate with them should they feel the need to enjoy something sweet.”

Whenever I see them in the store, I just gauge. Like, why would you want to constantly consume this type of food? It’s terrible for you and overtime, can make you gain weight. Therefore, the next time you’re about to reach for a donut or something coated with butter, Lauren suggests, “Dark chocolate, without the added milk, can be uplifting due to the naturally stimulating effect of “theobromine” without the crazy sugar rush.”

About Hope Kumor
Hope Kumor graduated Temple University May 2013 with a BA in English and also attended Bucks County Community College and earned her AD in Journalism in 2010.
She’s had internships with Family Circle and Good Housekeeping Magazine in New York City as well as 1490 WBCB and Bucks County Courier Times. She has a background in social media, writing, newspapers and PR.   Most of her writing centers around health & fitness since she was the Health & Fitness Staff Writer for Her Campus Temple. She freelances for various websites, but still makes the time to hang with her boyfriend, family, friends and workout.

Nadia Murdock Fit

Guest Blog Post: How to Avoid Over-Snacking