Deciding What I Want

How do you truly know if you’re ever making the right decision?

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Also, what the heck is “the right decision?” How will you ever know the right direction to take? I suppose not.

Life is about taking chances, screwing up and being strong enough to pick up the pieces. At times, you question whether or not you can do so.

I’ve said several times over: I want to be a writer.

Since I was a young kid, I’ve always had a knack for writing. I knew how to write a story and allow others to feel the emotion behind my writing. I wanted people to connect with me and be on the same level. I wanted to reach out and speak to them through my writing.

I have some decisions to make in the next few days, Should I become a full-time freelance writer? Should I move to Tennessee with the man of my dreams?

The thing is: It’s way too expensive in my area to buy a house or apartment. Also, I do not want to live HERE the rest of my life. I want to relocate, get some freedom and grow the hell up.

Reality will surely settle in if I do decide to move to Tennessee. 

It’s one of THE biggest decisions I’ll ever make. Everyone around me tells me I’m rushing. “You’ve only been with him for 15 months..” Blah-blah-blah.

In the end, the only person I must listen to is myself. I would say, I really have to decide what I’d like to do career-wise. I’m thinking part-time job and do some serious writing on the side. It will take me a while to make enough for writing to be my career and I know that. I’m willing to do what it takes to become a writer though.

I just want to feel passionate about my job and love what I do. I want to wake up and instantly be happy and excited for the day, I want to write about things that make me feel all warm  and fuzzy inside.

In terms of a boyfriend, he’s merely part of your life. He is not your whole life. Maybe I’ve been relying too much on mine  to be my basis for being happy. I need to find happiness in other things and I know it. And, I do look for happiness in other ways. He’s not my whole source of happiness, but he’s a huge part. He is the only consistent thing going on in my life. Yes, I do have family and friends who are very supportive, but that’s it. Then…. there’s my writing.

With writing, I can be as creative as I’d like. I can talk and write for hours about various topics. I don’t have others telling me what to write, when to write it or how to write it. I am my own boss and I can go from whatever angle I’d like. Sure, I can always improve and better my writing skills.

            And, it’s time. It’s both time to make a decision and decide what I’d like to do career-wise.

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