One Of The Hardest Decisions Of My Life And Then Some

I stared at the screen with wet eyes trying to distract myself from the situation. With puffy and red eyes, I tried to write an article from start to finish. But, I needed to take cry breaks in-between. I loved that dog within a day or two, but when you love something that much, you must let it free.

Last week, I went to Paws Adoption Center to check out puppies just for the heck of it. I wasn’t planning on falling in love, rather I just wanted to scope out the center. But, to my surprise, I spotted a cute and small doxie that I fell in love with. So, I took some photos and when I got back to the apartment, I showed off the pooch to Brett. He wanted to see the dog for himself, so we took a ride over and he fell in love as well.

The plan was for us to adopt him the next day. Brett kept saying how good it would be for us and we’d feel more settled. So, I agreed and we went to pick up our pooch the next day. We were both excited to have such a cute and cuddly pup.

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After that, we went over to Walmart and bought some pet supplies. I stayed in the car with the pup while Brett went in. Then, once we got home, we set everything up and bathed our new puppy.

He slept really well on the first night. But, Brett had to head to work the next day, so I was left to watch the little guy. He pooped and peed the entire day and he wouldn’t listen to me. I was extremely frustrated and really needed Brett to help me co-parent this dog. He was gone most of the day and once he came home, I was happy.

Here’s the truth, which we should have talked about before any of this: We’ve been here about a month and never have lived on our own. Therefore, we were never able to just go out and not worry about anything. There was always something in the way and this pup would restrict us from doing a lot of stuff we wanted to do.

And, also, we live in an apartment and it is not fair to him. He needs a big backyard to play in, kids to be with or someone who is retired and stays at home. We knew in our hearts that he deserved better.  So, we decided to take him back.

Brett was unable to do it, so I had to be the strong one and not be selfish. I just kept thinking about how I’d feel and I wasn’t sure if I was capable or strong enough, but I knew I had to go through with it. It was one of the biggest decisions of our lives. And, this is something we did not need while we’re still getting settled into our new life. Living in Tennessee is still so new to us, so going through this just made things 10 times worse.

The morning of, Brett hugged me and said, “Just know you’re making the right decision.”

If you’ve been through something like this, you know how disheartening and painful it is. I sat in the car for at least half an hour and cried. I kept questioning if this was the right decision, but deep down, I knew it was true. So, I slowly got out of the car and took him in. I had to sign some paperwork and then be on my way, so I did. But, on the ride home, I cried my eyes out.  I thought about going back to the shelter and re-rescuing him, but I decided not to.

When I got back, the apartment felt empty. I sensed it the moment I walked in our room. And, maybe I was being a baby, but I really needed Brett. Unfortunately,  he was at work.

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Eventually, when he got home, we had a 3-hour conversation about it and decided to take him back.  We talked about taking him to the park more often and seeing it as training for parenthood.

I know you’ll think we’re crazy, but I didn’t really give the dog a chance. When things to get rough, I tend to want to break-free. But, in life when things get tough, walking away may make you look like a coward.

Therefore, I’m going view this as a learning experience! I’ve talked to several people who almost took their puppies back, but decided to keep them instead. They noted how great of a decision it was for them.

And, maybe the dog will teach me something along the way and in the end, I’ll be glad to have him.

Love,

Hope Kumor

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. AngryPetOwner says:

    I’m sorry, but this is awful. You don’t adopt a dog without thinking it through. Animals require time and care and love. Your decision to adopt an animal without considering how you will care for that animal is immature and, frankly, stupid. As the owner of a rescue animal myself I hope that everyone that reads this and thinks it’s an acceptable way to approach adopting a rescue animal reconsiders.

    Before getting a rescue animal, make sure you:

    1) Have the time and attention to give to your pet; dogs especially need lots of walks and training
    2) Are aware that your rescue animal may have not had the best upbringing, and so might need extra love and attention, or may just be plain unsocial due to abuse
    3 Have pet insurance in case your new pet needs medial attention in the future
    4) Are ready to make the commitment. Animals are for life, they’re not a toy you return to the store

    Please don’t consider going down this route again. You clearly aren’t equipped for the responsibility.

    1. Relationship columnist♥ says:

      Hello– thanks for taking the time to write me. I couldn’t agree with you more actually. If I didn’t want to take on the responsibility, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. But, since this was about a month ago, I’ve learned A LOT such as how to care for him, I take him on frequent walks, I discipline him when he’s being bad and most of all, love him with all my heart.

      1. AngryPetOwner says:

        I’m glad to hear it’s going well with your new pet, and you’re enjoying getting to know each other. I hope he continues to bring you much joy! I don’t know if you have pet insurance in the US, but if you do I would heartily recommend getting some if you don’t have it already – we have a (now very) old rescue cat who’s developed the usual range of kitty health issues (hyperthyroidism, renal failure, hypertension) and the bills for her care are huge. We wouldn’t be able to afford a lot of her expensive treatment, and would have to make some very hard decisions, if we didn’t have a covered-for-life insurance plan for her.

        Also, kudos on so graciously taking criticism from a stranger on the internet – that’s a rare quality.

  2. Relationship columnist♥ says:

    Thanks so much!

    When being a writer, you must be able to accept criticism whether it’s good or bad.

    And, thanks for the advice. I’ll certainly look into it. Good luck with your kitty!

    xo

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