When Words Hurt Like Sticks And Stones

“You’re no longer romantic anymore,” I said to my boyfriend on a random Friday night. He stopped in his tracks and looked at me. I didn’t think it sounded rude or hurtful or think he’d get offended by it; I was just saying what was on my mind.

This happened right before we were running errands and working out, so it wasn’t a very pleasant outing. And, I figured out why this hit him hard. He’s been doing everything he can for me and when I said that, it sounds as if I don’t appreciate what he’s done for me. I get it too. I would also feel a sting after hearing that comment, but I that never stopped my mouth from forming the words.

Sometimes, you’re not always aware how hurtful words can be. I’m a culprit of being too truthful too often and it affects other around me. It’s as if I don’t know how to shut it off or shut up sometimes. It’s going to get me into big trouble one day and I know it. I never think of the aftermath. Instead, I just simply blurt out what I’m thinking.

There have been times I’ve hurt my mother, brothers and friends with my words. You’d think I’d learn by now, but there I am just humming through life not realizing what I’m saying. My boyfriend and I have gotten into arguments due to my extensive vocabulary. Sometimes, he just tells me to be quiet. And, the truth is, I think it’s better that way. I can stop myself from saying something I’ll regret later on. This is how I know I’ve done it again: I see my boyfriend’s reaction. His voice will get very serious and he has this look on his face. Then, my heart starts beating a mile a minute and I know I shouldn’t have said it. I hate others being mad at me, so my immediate reaction is to fix it. I walk over and try to talk to him about it. But, it’s too late because what I said had come out. I can’t take it back. Rather, I can only fix it and move forward. I ask myself, “Why did I just say that?” I can be a very selfish person and don’t think about what my words will do to someone I love. I swear I don’t mean it. I’m not a spiteful or hurtful person by any means. I just let my feelings and emotions get the best of me and then allow them to spill out like word vomit. But, I know I must learn not to be too truthful or I could seriously lose the people I love. Via Thought Catalog

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2 thoughts on “When Words Hurt Like Sticks And Stones

  1. Hey! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Many people have trouble expressing their feelings in a way that doesn’t hurt others. I’d advise in the future to use different language (more assertive words that focus on a person’s actions versus their being). Instead of “you’re not romantic anymore” (personal attack) say “I loved or missed when you gave me flowers every Sunday, it makes me feel loved, can you continue doing that?” And remember to shower him with compliments of how awesome he is as a boyfriend and show verbal appreciation for the things he does do that bring you joy on a consistent daily basis.

    And even with all that sometimes people(in some cases, your boyfriend) may take things personal no matter what you say or how well you try to say it. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t speak your mind.

    You’re doing a great job recognizing your characteristics that need fine tuning and deciding to do better. Kudos to you!

    Btw. I like your blog. I’m a fellow 20 something year old navigating life.

    1. Hey Eleona– You rock, girl! Thanks for taking the time to e-mail me!

      I will definitely follow your advice and try to work on my words. xo

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