It’s Time to Start Listening and Trusting Myself Instead of Others

Since I’m a writer, I tend to think a lot. I mean, constantly thinking about every little thing and often planning things in my head like my wedding day, what I’ll do next week, next month, heck next year! So, it’s no surprise that I think so much about whether or not my boyfriend is “the one.”

Marriage is a huge commitment and shouldn’t be taken lightly. You’ll spend the rest of your life with this person and if you don’t get along, what’s the point of marrying them? Lately, I was questioning if I should be with someone more like me, but then I said to myself, “if I was with a guy who was like me, he’d be sensitive and that might get quite annoying.” I would have to watch what I said or he might feel offended. Would I have to tip-toe around certain topics so he wouldn’t get hurt so easily? Probably.

He’d be a writer, so he’d be passionate. What if I didn’t like one of his articles, he might blow it completely out of proportion and cause a big fight. Would he be a manly man and know how to fix things? What if my car broke down or our air conditioning broke? Would he know how to repair it? Would he be a good cook? Or, would I constantly have to handle dinner all the time? See, I told you I was a thinker.

One thing is for sure: all the things I named, my current boyfriend does. He may not be a social butterfly, but you best believe he’s always there for me whenever I need him as well as anyone else that does, he has always supported me, has hugged me whenever I’ve felt down, is very affectionate with me, tells me I’m cute all the time, and has gone above and beyond for me. Additionally, he treats me very well and would do everything and anything in his power to make me happy. So, if he does all of this stuff for me, why do I still have something to complain about when he doesn’t ask me about my day or doesn’t really reach out to my parents? He’s asked me if anything is ever good enough for me and it’s a question I must ask myself as well. Will any guy ever be good enough? I could lose a good guy if I don’t watch out.

I was chatting with a gal who is married to a guy with the same personality as my boyfriend. It’s rather odd because she’s possesses the same personality as me and I’ve told her about my troubles and she said, “when people tell you he’s not the guy for you, that means he is.” If people are telling me this and that, why listen to them? Just because their guy talk to their parents doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other qualities that are quite annoying. So, why am I not listening to the only person who truly counts? MYSELF? For once, I’m going to listen to… me.

Via Huffington Post

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. I simply could not depart your site prior to suggesting that I actually enjoyed the usual information a person supply
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  2. This is TERRIFYING to read: “It’s rather odd because she’s possesses the same personality as me and I’ve told her about my troubles and she said, “when people tell you he’s not the guy for you, that means he is.””

    I can relate to your situation a bit, and I felt compelled to comment and present an opposing viewpoint as well.

    I dated a man for three and a half years, and truly began to believe he was the one, he was it; that it was all but decided we’d be married one day. We were opposites in the same kind of way, but obviously no situation is ever identical to another. He was more introverted, quiet, introspective, and emotional. I was (am) more outgoing, more social, more driven, more independent.

    My friends (cautiously, nicely) tried to tell me over a few years that there were some concerns and red flags, and I chose to constantly and continuously ignore that input.

    A couple years ago we broke up, things ended VERY poorly, and it’s been an ongoing situation that, as of writing this comment, still hasn’t been fully resolved. The only thing I can say is thank GOD we didn’t get married!

    It’s important to get feedback from others and realize when you don’t have enough information or insight into a situation to make a measured decision on your own, but there cannot be enough said for gut intuition as well. I knew in my BONES something was not quite right, but because I’d never had another relationship as serious as that one, I wrote it off as learning what it meant to be seriously committed to another person.

    I wish you well 🙂 and I hope you trust yourself above all others!

    1. Relationship columnist♥ says:

      Hey Kylie– thanks so much for your input! Trust me– I’ve listened and asked others for their opinions, but instead of just “listening” and making my own decision, I just listened to them and it was bad. I need to learn how to trust myself. Previously, I was unsure about us, but I told myself that when my parents visited us and he was anti-social with them and didn’t say anything, I wasn’t sure if we were mean to be. But, he surprised me because he wouldn’t stop talking to them, which showed me he was willing to do whatever it takes me make me happy.

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