Let me tell you something about guys: they’re very sensitive. I don’t give two s**** how much your guy says he’s not because it’s untrue! No matter how much they play it off, won’t admit to it, pretend those hurtful words you just said to them didn’t sting, they’re lying. Instead of telling you how they really feel, their first reaction is to shut down.
This is what I’ve learned: most girls like to talk out their problems in order to feel better. When talking it out, we feel as if a weight has lifted off our shoulders because we pushed it out instead of holding it in. But, guys like to bottle up their feelings and let it fade away in the darkness. However, does it really ever go away or do they carry it around for the rest of their days and randomly bring it when we’re nagging them about something?
Guys tend to act macho and manly, but deep down, they’re sensitive creatures that when their ego is bruised, they’ll shut down and not talk it out. But, as girls, we must learn that guys aren’t like us, we cannot simply expect them to “share their feelings” because more than likely, it’s not going to happen.
As girls, our first reaction is to FIX IT! We want to talk it through and try to make our guy feel better, but time and time again, I’m learning it does not work like that. And, in a heated argument most times, you call your man an “asshole” because he seems to be inattentive, unresponsive and ignoring you. Here’s the truth though: he actually is listening and processing everything you’re saying. You don’t really mean it, instead you’re saying it out of anger and frustration. But, if you want to be in an adult relationship, you must be respectful. So, if your guy does not want to “chat” because of his ego, then let him go. I know how tempting it can be to just walk into the other room and shake him, but that’s not going to do anything.
Let him cool off for a bit and then go and talk to him. If you cannot help but think, “I have to go talk to him. I have to do something,” just don’t. Instead, distract yourself by calling a friend, taking a walk, playing with the dog or simply reading a good book. I would say that your guy will respect and appreciate the space you’ve given him instead of cornering him in the bathroom and yelling that you want to talk.
Via Thought Catalog