To The Women Who Call Themselves Ugly

As women, we’re always critiquing and picking apart our body. We constantly bash ourselves about our appearance. It’s easy to convince ourselves that we’re ugly. Here’s The ugly truth, we actually listen.

The other day, I read this status made from someone on my Facebook, “I might be ugly but at least I ain’t stupid cause ugly can be fixed and your stupidity can’t.” And, this absolutely disgusted me. As a woman, why do we need to call ourselves, “ugly?” Why is it necessary to put ourselves down? Everyone is attractive in their own way.

Your personality might be cute as a button and that’s why so many people like you. Or, you may always make a negative into a positive, making you beautiful. We need to stop labeling ourselves as “unworthy” “ugly” or “stupid.”

So what if you don’t wear a size 0 or have a rather large nose, that doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of love. Everyone deserves to be loved and to be happy. We need to start telling each other we’re beautiful. And, we must start believing and having confidence in ourselves.
In the past, only tall and thin-framed girls could be models.

But, now, you see plus size models are just as successful and still beautiful. So, whomever tells you you must be skinny to be attractive should go to hell! Feel comfortable in your own skin and feel proud of who you are.

Therefore, stop telling yourself you’re hideous when you look at yourself in the mirror. Post positive aspects of yourself and post it on your bathroom mirror. Then, after you write at least 5 positive characteristics of yourself, repeat them to yourself every single day. Don’t ever put yourself down. You are your worst enemy and nothing will change if you don’t alter the way you show yourself.

Via Thought Catalog

Dear Future Daughter

Dear Future Daughter:

I’m writing to you before I find out if I can have children, before I’m engaged, and before I’m ready to have children. There’s so much I want you to know about this world, your daddy and what kind of man we want you to be with. I could be jumping the gun a little bit here with your daddy, but he’s told me asking my hand in marriage is just a few months away. And, I’m not planning or wishing for it to come true. Instead, I’m taking it day-by-day and enjoying my time with him.

I’m going to tell you something about your daddy. He’s a special guy who will do anything and everything for his little girl. He’ll always protect you and love you like he loves his mommy. Your daddy will take spending time with you very seriously because he’ll love you to pieces and want to make memories.

Once the time comes, he’ll teach you that there are good men in this world and will be honest with you about the men who just want to sleep with you. He’ll want to know who is spending time with his little girl. And, I know for a fact if this man breaks your heart, your daddy will beat the crap out of him. He’ll feel devastated to see his little girl hurting and so, he’ll do everything in his power to cheer you up.

I know what kind of guy he is and what kind of father he’ll be because we have a dog–whom you’ll grow to love–who he plays, cuddles and takes on long walks. He cherishes the moments he spends with our pooch just like he’ll do with you.

He was raised to be respectful and courteous to women and that’s why I love him so much. He goes out of his way to do things for me and even puts me first. You will witness these acts of kindness by your daddy when you’re old enough to understand. You will learn who a good man is by watching your daddy love and care for me when I’m in pain. You’ll watch your daddy be my rock, my shoulder to cry on, my co-pilot and my partner for life.

Even though he’s a rather anti-social person and avoids chaotic situations, he’ll never pass up an opportunity to go somewhere with you or our family.

Society can be mean sometimes. I’m so sorry if you’re bullied in school. Daddy and I will teach you how to be a strong woman who doesn’t care what other people think of you. We’ll teach you to have a thick skin and defend yourself when people are cruel and rude to you. You will learn to be your own person because you’re unique, special and one of a kind!

Always remember that daddy and I love you and you will grow up into a beautiful and wonderful woman who will meet a man who desires you. Never settle for less because you’re a great person. We want you to meet a guy who would do anything for you–just like daddy.

Via Huffington Post

The Day I Stopped Feeling Sorry for Myself

So many people go through tragedies each day. Not having enough money to buy food, shelter or having a supportive family are some serious situations to be in. And, sometimes, those people who go through that never complain or talk about it. I’d like to be one of those who don’t even mention it or complain about it because what’s the point? Sure, everyone has their “breaking point,” but what is crying and being upset over it constantly going to do?

In the past, I complained about not having enough money to live on my own or not having enough money to do this and that. Instead of dwelling on my situation, I should have just accepted it and worked my ass off. Now that I’m finally out on my own, why not be happy? At first, I was terribly sad and missed my family every single day, but it was my decision to move to Tennessee. It wasn’t like I was made to leave PA and move far away. I chose to do so and I’d never take it back.

I’m done feeling sorry for myself because, well, there are people dealing with a father or mother who lost their parents or are coping with a loved one who has cancer. People are going through some real s*** out there, but they aren’t feeling sorry for themselves. For me, what I need to focus on right now is saving some money to buy a house, to pay off my student loans and enjoying my life in-between.

Previously, my articles focused on my frustrations of being a college graduate without a job. Most of them were written in the same voice and talked about the same concept. But, they were written by an immature girl who felt as if complaining was the way to becoming “noticed.” Boy was I wrong.

To be noticed, you have to tell a legit story in a mature manner. When writing about the negative, you need to also incorporate the positive. If you’re a negative person, you’re more than likely going to attract other negative people in your life, who might be a bad influence. So, stop being negative and if you’re feeling sorry for yourself, just stop. It doesn’t do you any good.

Via Huffington Post

I’m a Sucker for Weddings

I loved being a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding and love attending them in general. So, whenever someone has one, I always become excited watching the guy and the gal recite their vows to one another.

I was never one to plan my wedding, envision how my dress and ring would look like or how I’d be proposed to, but at 26 and in a serious relationship, it’s often on my mind. Some people may believe there is no specific age when it comes to getting married, but by 26–if you’ve met ‘the one’–I believe it’s definitely time to tie the knot.

I did want to have kids by 24, so I’m a bit passed the age I predicted. I met my now serious boyfriend at 24, but it was way too early for kids to cross my mind. Here’s the thing though: my parents met at 19 and 23, had kids by 25 and 29, but their generation was different from the way we’re growing up. They had pre-planned jobs and things way less.

Weddings now-a-days are a bit more expensive.

I was chatting with a DIY Wedding Mentor and she told me the average cost of a wedding is $30,000. I mean, think about how ridiculous that is! Even if I had the money, I still wouldn’t desire to spend that much dough! You can budget a wedding for around $10,000. I know weddings are pricey, but when it all comes together, it’s quite exciting to be part of someone’s special day.

So, here are a few things I’ve learned through researching weddings:

• June, August, September, and October are the most popular, so I’d assume they’re the most expensive months.
• A morning wedding is cheaper because alcohol is expensive.
• When couples budget a wedding, they’re more likely to stay together than those who don’t take time to really plan it.
• BBQ and Pizza are the cheapest foods to serve at a wedding reception.
• Small get-togethers are more cost-effective.
• Making your own wedding decorations is less likely to cost you an arm and a leg.

Via Huffington Post

Death Is a Hard Topic to Swallow

I sit in silence listening to the fans circling round and round and feel a slight breeze on my face. I’m in the living room of my apartment. No, it’s not just my apartment. Rather, I share it with y boyfriend as well. It’s him, my puppy and I living in this apartment and I couldn’t be happier.

Life has a way of challenging you to see how strong you can be. Nothing is ever guaranteed. Heck, I could pass away tomorrow. It sounds morbid, but unfortunately, it’s the truth.

When I watched The Curious Life of Benjamin Button, it made me think of how precious life really is. It’s about a guy who is born old and then grows young. He watched everyone around him die while he gets younger and younger. The saddest part was when he dies as a newborn baby.

It made me start thinking about humans being born on this planet for a certain period of time and eventually die. From birth, in a way, life is set-up for us. We’re babies who grow up, go to school, graduate, attend college, start working, meet the person we’re going to marry, have kids, grow old, and die. We already have a plan set in stone. Very few people veer off this path. Maybe you won’t get married or go to school or even find a job. To those who can make that happen, I envy you! But, in the end, we’ll all end up buried in a grave or be made into ashes.

I’m not an emotional person whatsoever. I often break down when I’m alone. I don’t like people seeing me cry because I don’t want to appear vulnerable or I fear once I start, I won’t be able to stop. It’s rare that I’ve cried in front of anyone. So, in terms of death, I am absolutely terrible at comforting people or saying the right words. I mean, who the heck gets used to death? I don’t think I could ever get used to a loved one dying. When I think of my parents not being here one day, I cannot help but get choked up. And, if I do cry, I rarely tell anyone. Besides, what can you do for me? Sure, you can make me feel better, but you cannot take away the pain.

Death is difficult to swallow. I would tell you one of the things I’m most afraid of is death. I’m terrified of my boyfriend, family member, or someone I love dying in front of my eyes. I just don’t think I’m strong enough to handle that. How could I watch that? It’s a topic that must be talked about because it’s reality. In the end though, who likes talking about death? I just have to come to the realization that we’re all going to die.

Via Huffington Post

I’ve Lived In Tennessee For 6 Months And It Still Doesn’t Feel Like Home

When I moved to Tennessee, I figured after a while, I’d fall in further in love with it, but unfortunately that’s not the truth. Sure, the people are way nicer and would literally lend a hand to anyone in need of help, but that still didn’t have me convinced.

I thought by 6 months, it would feel like home. But, when you’ve lived in a certain state for 25 years, it might take some more time to get accustomed. And, maybe I’m the sort of person who needs more time. Maybe Tennessee will really grow on me and I won’t want to leave, but whatever the case, I’m not even close to being “there.”

I assumed there would be a bunch of events every weekend, but I’m not able to find too many activities to do. I’m not a drinker, so the bar scene doesn’t really appeal to me too much. I think I’d rather save my money and my waist. Most people around my age are out drinking, dancing and clubbing, but I’m not a huge fan. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to go dancing if I had girlfriends that felt the same, but dancing and drinking together isn’t really my forte. But, instead of thinking negativity and giving up, I’m going to turn my frown upside down. I’ve learned tons of things moving here, so I’d never take it back.

The other day, I began thinking that this was all a dream. I didn’t feel like living here was real. I thought I was living in another world and I was outside of myself looking in. But, I am here and this is real, but I’ll just enjoy where I am and see where live takes me. I look forward to the next step in my life and am no longer looking back on the past.

Via Huffington Post

How to Know When You Found ‘The One’

You know those articles that often list all the reasons why the guy you’re dating is “the one?” They all sound the same and list similar reasons why and you follow those because well, those articles are published in magazines and often publications.

And, to be honest, I used to follow those pieces as well and ask myself if my boyfriend had all those qualifications. If he did, then he was definitely the one because the article said so! It was naïve of me to think an article could predict my future. I was the one who believed it too until I got older and began thinking that every relationship is different, so if I my boyfriend didn’t do everything on the list, it didn’t matter because my boyfriend isn’t the exact same as yours.

This is how you know your boyfriend is the one.

No matter what you’re wearing — whether you’re dressed in PJs or in a hot outfit — he’ll look at you the exact same way. If you get sick, he’ll be there to support and take care of you. He won’t leave you because he knows you’re worth it. He’ll do everything he can to make you happy.

Even if he’s not a social person, he’ll step out of his shell for you because he truly loves you. He’ll sacrifice himself for you. If he’s exhausted and you made plans, he’ll do his best to put a smile on his face. Your family can get underneath his skin, but he’ll still attend nearly every celebration and get-together because he knows how important it is to you.

If your boyfriend isn’t the touchy-feely type, in his own way, he’ll be affectionate with you. He’ll never push you away. When you’re lying around watching TV, all you want to do is cuddle, so you lay on him and he’ll put his arm around you because he loves when you’re that close to him.

Trust me, if your boyfriend truly loves you, he’ll do whatever he can to make you happy. And, at the end of the day, you want that guy around because he’ll make an excellent father.

Via Huffington Post

Most People Haven’t a Clue That I Starred in a Documentary Called ‘My Millennial Life’

Set

I was contacted by someone back in April regarding a documentary called “My Millennial Life.” It couldn’t believe my ears when I was told I was chosen to be featured because well, I didn’t think I was that important. But, apparently, my story was something else. I’d spent countless dozens commuting to New York for not one, but two internships, had plenty of writing experience–mostly unpaid–and was up to my knees in debt from college. And, when I told this to Maureen Judge–the director–she knew she had to follow my story.

So, in October 2014, Maureen and her crew traveled from Canada to Pennsylvania to film me working, chatting with family and boyfriend and walking through my daily routine of job hunting for the perfect position and going to past places that had special meaning. At first, it was strange being followed by a camera, but then, I got used to it and loved it. They attached a microphone to the inside of my clothes so they could hear me better and I felt like a star.

While they were there, I divulged my deep and dark secrets, not holding anything back. I talked about my fears, desires, disappoints being a college grad who lived at home. I know so many are going through the same thing, so I wanted to display a demeanor that read “I understand what you’re going through and I’m going to help you through it.”

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We went all over and they asked me questions about how I was feeling, what I was thinking and what the place meant to me. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t even hold back when they asked me personal things. They told me they’d come back a few more times to get a glance of where I was at.

The second time focused on me deciding to move to Tennessee with my boyfriend. He landed a job and we mutually decided to move. It was the biggest decision of my life and Maureen and her crew were there every step of the way to see how I felt and what would happen once we moved. They even came while we were settling into our new apartment.

“My Millennial Life” will premiere next year sometime and I cannot wait to see my journey on film. I hope you’ll watch and relate to my decision.

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Via Huffington Post

5 Unfortunate Things That Happen When You Have A Baby Face And Look Way Younger Than You Actually Are

I have a baby face and well, it’s not a picnic.

No, I’m not here to complain; rather I’m going to tell you what kind of sort of sucks about having a “baby face.”

1. You’re labeled “cute.”

I cannot even tell you how many times people have called me “cute.” I’m not gorgeous; I’m rather a cutie pie. Ugh. Don’t you hate being “the cute one?” I mean, it gets old. Just saying.

2. People often say “you don’t look older than 19.”

When I was 22, people have asked if I was still in school. Um…no, I’m actually a legal adult. Please check my I.D and you’ll see that I can actually drink in a bar.

3. “Be thankful you look young now because it will work to your advantage when you’re older.”

I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard this line. I know, it truly is great, but what if I actually want to look my age right now? Maybe I’m dumb and unappreciative to think this way, but you’d understand if you had a baby face.

4. Can “baby face” women be models?

I’ve always been interested in modeling, but I’ve often worried if I would make it as such because of my face. I have a nice looking face, but it’s not a typical model face, so I may just have to give up on that fantasy. Sigh.

5. The question that I often find myself wondering is, “will I always have a baby face?”

Do you think my face will get catch up to my age? That sounds like a stupid question, but I would like to know. Hm….

Via Thought Catalog