I sit in silence listening to the fans circling round and round and feel a slight breeze on my face. I’m in the living room of my apartment. No, it’s not just my apartment. Rather, I share it with y boyfriend as well. It’s him, my puppy and I living in this apartment and I couldn’t be happier.
Life has a way of challenging you to see how strong you can be. Nothing is ever guaranteed. Heck, I could pass away tomorrow. It sounds morbid, but unfortunately, it’s the truth.
When I watched The Curious Life of Benjamin Button, it made me think of how precious life really is. It’s about a guy who is born old and then grows young. He watched everyone around him die while he gets younger and younger. The saddest part was when he dies as a newborn baby.
It made me start thinking about humans being born on this planet for a certain period of time and eventually die. From birth, in a way, life is set-up for us. We’re babies who grow up, go to school, graduate, attend college, start working, meet the person we’re going to marry, have kids, grow old, and die. We already have a plan set in stone. Very few people veer off this path. Maybe you won’t get married or go to school or even find a job. To those who can make that happen, I envy you! But, in the end, we’ll all end up buried in a grave or be made into ashes.
I’m not an emotional person whatsoever. I often break down when I’m alone. I don’t like people seeing me cry because I don’t want to appear vulnerable or I fear once I start, I won’t be able to stop. It’s rare that I’ve cried in front of anyone. So, in terms of death, I am absolutely terrible at comforting people or saying the right words. I mean, who the heck gets used to death? I don’t think I could ever get used to a loved one dying. When I think of my parents not being here one day, I cannot help but get choked up. And, if I do cry, I rarely tell anyone. Besides, what can you do for me? Sure, you can make me feel better, but you cannot take away the pain.
Death is difficult to swallow. I would tell you one of the things I’m most afraid of is death. I’m terrified of my boyfriend, family member, or someone I love dying in front of my eyes. I just don’t think I’m strong enough to handle that. How could I watch that? It’s a topic that must be talked about because it’s reality. In the end though, who likes talking about death? I just have to come to the realization that we’re all going to die.
Via Huffington Post