As a kid, I was never good in a group setting. Whenever there was more than one person, I’d always clam up and wouldn’t talk much. It seems there was always someone in the group that would be rather aggressive and took the lead in the conversation. During that conversation, I’d fall behind while everyone else told their stories and disclosed personal information. I would just nod my head yes and almost everything someone said, but never provided my input. I feared someone would talk over me and never care what I had to say. And, to be honest, most of the time, the friends I made talked about themselves, so listening to what I had to say didn’t matter.
This carried over in the work world. I remember I was working for this company as a Social Media Coordinator and we would have meetings with the owner, his assistant and another employee. They would all pitch ideas, but I was left sitting there with my thumb up my ass. Well, not literally, just figuratively. All 3 of them were very dominating people, so I never felt comfortable jumping in because there was never enough time nor a pause in-between.
This sort of behavior also happened while interning at Family Circle Magazine. I was the Home Décor intern and when I’d have a meeting with the Home Décor Editor and her assistant, again I was left speechless. I had nothing to add, which made me look quite bad. I just could not form words because again, I feared being talked over. Instead of thinking too much into it, I decided to push myself to talk, not just “let it happen.” Over thinking has always been one of my problems and I know it. I’ve gotten better at it, but there are still times I drive myself absolutely nuts.
I’m the type who has to be 100% comfortable in order to talk in a group. This is something I must work on, but it’s not easy when I’ve been this way my whole life.
Via Huffington Post