I Interned for Two Magazines In New York City and It Was Scary

Not too many girls can say they were fortunate enough to intern for not one, but two magazines in the Big Apple. I mean, you see Instagram photos from gals who work for magazines and yearn to steal their job. There’s always a possibility to meet celebrities, you receive the coolest beauty products and have one-on-one convos with editors who provide you with the best career advice. What’s better than that, right? Well, what you don’t see is how cut-throat everything is as well as at times, uptight.

In fall 2013, I began applying for several magazine internships in New York hoping I’d land at least one of them. I mean, I was constantly looking on ED2010 for the latest posting and one day, I applied for the Good Housekeeping Magazine Editorial Internship. To my surprise, I received an e-mail about a phone interview with the two editorial assistants of GH. You’ll never know how nervous I was to chat with them via phone and I’m sure I would have been 10 times more if it was a face-to-face interview. Even in my current state of shock, I remained calm, cool and collected. And, even when I received the e-mail a few weeks later that I obtained it, I was still as cool as a cucumber, but freaking out on the inside.

My first day was in early January 2013. Now, I don’t remember it exactly because well, um, I was not calm, cool and collected. I’d travel to NYC three days a week for 8 hours for this unpaid internship. I did not care that it wasn’t paid because it was worth it for me. I caught myself thinking it was all a dream a few times, but it was really happening. I was an editorial intern for Good Housekeeping Magazine and I was scared. Why was I so afraid? Well, it was probably because I am a quiet and shy girl to begin with and in New York, I didn’t know a soul and I was totally out of my element. But, to be honest, I wasn’t really scared of the traveling; I was more scared of the women whom I worked for. I think I was just intimidated by their success and jealous as hell at what they’d achieved. I was merely an intern and they were working for a freaking magazine in New York.

Whenever they’d ask me to do a task, I’d immediately jump on it. Even if I didn’t fully understand the job given, I would be on it ASAP with a big smile on my face. And, when they’d give me a deadline, they would make me feel even more stressed. Their confidence intimidated me because I lacked it severely and it always seemed like they looked down upon me. I always felt as if they thought they were better than me. Maybe that was all in my head, but I always did the best of my ability

And, when I started my second internship at Family Circle Magazine as a Home Décor Intern, I felt the same way. I think my fear of messing up took over me and it crippled me in a way and that’s no one’s fault except mine. I didn’t feel as if I “fit” into this industry because all the women were all confident souls and I was working to build mine.

After completing my internship, I decided to break away from the industry for a bit until I’ve developed more confidence. There are days I miss it terribly, but I do not miss how my stomach would churn when I was given a few tasks at one time by an editor who scared the s**t out of me. But, now, when I’m feeling intimidated I say, “hey Hope, snap out of it, he/she is a person just like you” and I’m snapped back into reality.

Via Huffington Post

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