It’s been a tough year. And, in part, I made it that way. I didn’t have to move 800+ miles away from family and friends, but I did. That part is all me, but I wouldn’t take it back for the world. Again, I’m glad we both made the decision to move because I wouldn’t have learned and grew as a person as well grew as a couple. We wouldn’t have gotten a dog and I wouldn’t have learned independence, so despite my occasional sadness, I’m happy with the decision.
We started the year living together at his parents house searching for some sanity in the job market. We both yearned for something new and I was especially depressed with where I was in my life. Sure, I was in a committed relationship and had great family and friends, but there was always something missing, which was a successful career. And, at 25, I knew it wouldn’t be exactly what I wanted, but prayed it would earn me decent money and I’d be happy.
He was working 12-hour overnight shifts and was absolutely exhausted every single day. He developed a sickness and was extremely unhappy.
So, when he got an interview with a company in Tennessee, I was nothing but excited for the possibility of a new opportunity for both of us. For about a year, I’d been saying I wanted to move to Tennessee, but knew he would need to see it before the decision was made. So, in January, we did just that and he thought it was clean, the people were friendly and it would be a nice overall change from the North.
So, he went on a few interviews before landing an in-person one. I accompanied him since I had one as well. Mine was for a marketing for a local gym and he had an interview for a job similar to the one he had at the time. I had a phone interview, skype chat and also had scheduled an in-person one. He went on his and I went on mine, but only one of us landed the job. It was him.
We had to make one of the biggest decisions in our lives. Would we move 800+ miles away and start over or would we continue looking for jobs and living with his folks? It was not an easy decision considering everyone thought we were nuts! This would be our first time “leaving the nest” and it would be 800+ miles away, so it would make things that much harder.
It took us about week to decide if we were going to go through with it. We had 2 weeks to get everything ready to go. Both parents thought it was a quick decision and thought we needed more time to pack our things. But, his job needed him ASAP, so we left on March 19th and arrived on March 20th at an apartment we only saw via the internet.
The first few months were extremely difficult on my part because I missed my family so badly. I went between crying and complaining. He was there to coach me through it and tell me everything was going to be okay. I wish his words worked, but unfortunately, there was nothing he could say. But, here’s the thing: it was my decision, so why was I feeling sorry for myself? It’s not like he made me do it. I chose it and that was it.
Around April, we got a dog. I actually found him at a local shelter, took pictures and showed them to him. He wanted to go see him and once he did, he fell in love. But, then, I became frustrated because all he’d do was poop/pee in the apartment and he wasn’t around to help me with our new puppy, so unfortunately, we decided to take him back. This was heart-wrecking, immature and stupid of me to give up so easily and regret the decision every day. We went back to get him and I’m so happy we did it because I don’t know what I would do without our pooch, Ollie.
He and I hit a rough patch in our relationship because of my jealousy of the dog as well as my constant complaining and we almost broke-up because he kept saying the same thing to me over and over and over. I was taking my unhappiness out on him and it was not fair. I finally came to terms and accepted the situation.
Our parents visited two separate times and again, I was left with pureness sadness. In July, my brothers came for a visit and he had to work the whole time they were there. I wanted the four of us to hang out, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I spent time with them, but we really didn’t do much. So, after they left, I was a mess because I didn’t show them a good time. And, to add to that, I had doubts in my relationship with him. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing, where I was going with my life or how to handle my emotions. But, from that, I became stronger. I learned how to accept a situation and move on instead of dwelling on it. I learned to work with him and understand him better.
In October, he had deviated septum and turbination reduction surgery. He was supposed to feel better in a few days, but it ended up taking two weeks. He somehow developed a sinus infection in the process and from there, we learned he was allergic to penicillin and broke out in a rash throughout his entire body. I worked from home every day for a week. He could not be left alone because he simply couldn’t do anything. I was frustrated that he wasn’t getting any better. I kept calling the nurse, asking his mom for her opinion, buying him items to make him feel better. This was a test to see if I could care for him and I passed. I didn’t throw a hissy fit or complain. Rather, I handled it as an adult, which wouldn’t have been the case a year ago. Yes, that sounds pathetic, but it’s true and I’m admitting it.
Then, in November, he proposed to me. I couldn’t believe that I was engaged and kept staring at the ring thinking it would disappear, but it didn’t. And, to think, I put him in the friend zone once upon a time and here we are engaged.
The Tuesday before we were set to leave for PA, he received a phone call about his grandma. So, we drove up a few days early to say our goodbyes. Along with that, he had another illness in the family, which put a damper on our Holiday season. These were sad circumstances for him, but I stood by him strong and supportive.
Around the same time, we broke the news to our parents and everyone was happy for us! I think it came at a good time because we hoped it would make the Holiday season a bit brighter. During our time in PA, we looked at a venue, caterer, bakery and florist for our wedding.
Eventually, we set a wedding date for…. November 6, 2016. So, 2016 will be a good year!
Here are some things I learned in 2015:
- How to become a more independent and stronger person.
- Think about someone’s needs as well as your own.
- How to care for a living creature and another human being.
- I learned to accept my situation instead of complain about it.
Goals for 2016:
- Be happy.
- Become a successful freelance writer.
- Enjoy myself and what life’s little simple pleasures.
- Get closer with my fiancé and hope for happiness on his end.
I would say 2015 was a great year and I learned tons of stuff! And, by the end of 2016, I will be Hope Marie Evans and I am so happy to be with him for the rest of my life!