Learning How To Work As A “Team-Couple”

When my fiancé and I moved 800 + miles away from family and friends, I knew it would change our relationship. I mean, we would be responsible for each other because no one else was around. We didn’t have his mom, my mom, his dad or my dad to fall back on whenever we needed something. I knew it would be a test of love as well as a test to see if we in fact ‘meant to be.’

I didn’t have any doubts that we couldn’t do it, but I was a bit nervous. We had to learn how to work as a team. We needed to communicate, talk things through and take care of things together. If one did not agree, we wouldn’t follow-through with it and that’s exactly how it was supposed to be.

Within the last year, I’ve learned so much about not only him, but myself. I grew into a stronger person and became the best version of myself.  I learned to deal with things as an adult instead of an adolescent teenager. Back in PA, I was a lost soul who’d complain at the drop of a hat. Now, I’ve learned to deal with it, grow and move on.

Last October, my fiancé had nose surgery.  I was to be the sole caregiver because mommy and daddy were nowhere in sight.  I figured I’d work from home on the day of his surgery and then be back the next day. That plan went out the window when he developed a sinus infection, rash and couldn’t sleep for 4 consecutive days straight.  I had to take care of the dog and him, work, make dinner, and balance everything else in-between.  It was a task, but I survived.  I mean, it was stressful since each day he got worse and worse. But, I was there for him just like he would have been there for me.

The next test was his second surgery, which was this past Monday. It was a bit more intense because it was shoulder surgery and would require therapy.  He can’t drive, take care of the dog, and do much around the apartment, cook or bathe himself.

In this case, I had to grasp the concept of putting him before myself and accepting that for the time being life would be a bit unsteady. We wouldn’t have our normal routine of him and I work, eat dinner, exercise, relax and go to bed together. Instead, we had to alter plans and that would consist of taking care of everything, him sleeping in the living room and making dinner. And, I’m fine with it, but I sure do miss the original routine of him getting home at 6:00.

Here are a few things I’ve learned:

  •  Working as a team has made us a stronger couple though! Having to do this together and experience it together has just taught me so much more.
  • You must always remember to do is come to a compromise.  Any decision you make has to be fair and must be well-suited for the both of you. If it’s good for him, but not good for you, it shouldn’t be considered.
  • It’s no longer about me. It’s about the two of us. I can’t be selfish or my marriage won’t be successful.  It’s about give and take.  If you’re not ready to come to a consensus with your partner, maybe you should re-think your arrangement.
  • Most of all, at the end of the day, just remember that he is your co-pilot and whatever you choose in this world, will also affect your partner.

Via Puckermob

Try Not To Judge A Person Before Talking To Them One-on-One

There are two sides to every story. But, most people only wish to see one side because they’re not interested in listening to what the other person has to say or rather they’re lazy.

You may say as you’d like, but one thing stays true – no one truly know anyone. I mean, sure, you can be with your husband for 70 + years and say you know him and all in all and I’d say you know pretty much every part of him, but there are some things you will never know about him. You won’t learn every single last detail of his entire life because there is simply too much to tell. This is what I was told in one of my psychology classes. The professor told us that you never truly know anyone in this life. Heck, can you say you even fully know yourself?

As humans, we change, we evolve, we move, we have children, we meet people who change our perspective on our lives. Sometimes, we say we don’t want kids, but when we meet an incredible human being that alters our opinion and we might learn that, we do in fact want children one day. My fiancé told me he did not want kids or didn’t think he’d get married until he met me. He did not know this about him – until after meeting me. He’s always said that he would never get married, but here we are, 9 months away from becoming husband and wife.

In general, I’d say there are many people who are close-minded and don’t want to take the time to get to know someone. That’s fair though. Why not hear both sides of the story? Be fair. Be kind. Be open. Take someone’s feeling into consideration before bashing them and not hearing them out. Everyone is different behind closed doors.

You’re a different person on the internet than you are in real life. It’s all about your words, your language, how you speak to people matters. It’s hard to tell how sincere someone is through the web and I get that. But, before you pass judgment, you may want to sort of know/get to know this person a bit more. And, always remember, hear someone out before you pick sides.

Via Puckermob

I Think I’ll Always Be A ‘Worrier’

Something tells me I’m going to be one worried mother. How do I know? Well, I grew up with one who would literally worry about me day in and day out. She needed me to text her when I got to work, had to know all my plans and who I was with and how long I’d be out. When I confronted her about why she always needed to know all of this information, she simply told me I didn’t understand and I will one day when I become a mother. But, since having someone I love dearly and would do anything for, I think I finally get it.

Let’s fast forward to now being engaged. I believe it’s the same sort of thing. I often worry about him, wonder how he’s doing, where he is and it probably has to do with his current job. Working between 12-15 per day is not only stressful for that person, it also begins to effect the other person. And, here’s the thing : he probably doesn’t fully understand how much I really do worry about his well-being.

So, this has lead me to believe I might be the same way with my kids. However, I promised myself I would not do it to the extent of my mother.  She was a bit too overprotective and did not let us blossom and bloom to the best of our abilities. I just think that I’ll always be a worrier in general – just like her.

I sat on the couch until after 12:00 last night waiting for my fiancé to come home. I couldn’t sleep. I had to wait for his arrival because I was too worried to fall asleep. Just like a mother – I could not fall asleep until he was safe and sound. And, I thought myself that if I absolutely had to, it would be in the living room, where I’d hear him walk through the door. I looked for his truck every chance I got and even looked at my phone from time-to-time to see if it was broken, waiting for the phone call or e-mail telling me he was heading home. I would wait for him forever and again, I think I’ll do the same for my kids.

I mean, once my kids reach a certain age, I’ll let them go, but in the beginning, worrying will become my best friend and I know it! And, my future mother-in-law has told me it’s a mother’s job to worry. So, that tells me something right there.

Just come home. Come home.

Via Puckermob

5 Fun Facts You Did Not Know About Courtney Cole

PuckermobBlue-eyed and brown-haired beauty with a bubbly personality, Courtney Cole has been dedicated to music since 5 years old when she took her first bow onstage, at a talent show in her church– according to her website. This sassy and fun gal is originally from Mandeville, Louisiana, but her love for country brought her to Nashville, “My parents met two-stepping in a country bar,” she says. “So I feel like my love of country music started way early on.” she smiles. “Music was always in our lives. I always loved the emotion that is the heart of country music, and I’m a very emotional person. Being able to sing how you feel and put music to it, that’s what I live for!” -says her website.

But, this is not about where she’s grown up and how she fell in love with music, it’s about showcasing a side of Courtney that no one hears about. It’s about the 5 facts you didn’t know about her. She’s not just about music, she also has other interests as well and now is your chance to find them out!

1) I was extremely cross eyed as a kid.

2.) Wizard of Oz and Wicked are an obsession of mine.  I even named my dog “Elekanamennamenatumatumelekanamen” from the song “No Good Deed” in Wicked.  I call her “Ellie” for short 🙂

3) I don’t pretend to understand it all, but I love reading about quantum physics and the Universe.

4) I am obsessed with Chipotle and Arby’s curly fries….not at the same time!

5) I do a great impression of Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors.

“There are a lot of cool things in the works for 2016! I’m writing a lot of new music and I’m excited to hit this road this summer,” says Courtney. “Being on the road and playing shows is so rewarding for me. I love getting to meet so many awesome people, country fans are the best fans!”

Also, be sure to visit her iTunes account here. And, while you’re at it, you might as well watch Courtney’s awesome music video. Is that bias of me to say ‘awesome’? I think not! Watch it here.

Via Puckermob

30 Seconds Later, It Was A Yes!

My fiancé said when he asked for my hand in marriage that we wait until we visited our family, so we can tell them face-to-face. At first, I felt as if it was too big of a secret to keep, but I agreed. We went to Gatlinburg for Halloween and I thought maybe he’d ask me then, but the trip came and went without a word. My next guess was in Florida for our 2-year-anniversary. I mean, I should have figured it out since at first, we were going to Gatlinburg for our 2-year, but then he changed it to Florida because it was “more romantic.”

For the next month, I secretly prepared myself hoping he would ask then, but not wanting to think too much into it. There were several occasions when I’d joke about marriage and he told me he didn’t have a ring. I did believe him because there was one time when I went into his drawer to get something and while I was in there, I quickly peeked to see if it was in there. But, unfortunately, I found nothing.

I’d spend some of my time watching proposals wondering what my initial reaction would be. Most girls cried, hugged and kissed their guy, but I wasn’t an emotional person, so I figured I wouldn’t shed any tears.

When the weekend came, I hoped for the best. On the day of our 2-year-anniversary, he had a sailboat tour scheduled for about 3:00. Earlier in the day, we went mini-golfing and there was no one there. I joked with him and asked if he rented it out for us. I figured he might do it there? I wasn’t certain of anything. Actually, the night before, we went to the beach and he was acting strange, so I had a hunch he might do it there, but nope!

We headed to the boat area on time, but he was acting a bit odd because he kept giving me more complaints than usual. I was confused because he did tell me there would be about 6 other people in this boat and I said to myself, “he’d propose in front of all those people?” Hm… I had always told him that I wanted the proposal on video along with lots of photos.

Then, when no one accompanied us, he told me maybe no one scheduled a boat tour at that time. I didn’t think too much into it. While on the boat, our captain– who seemed like a nice and laid back guy– allowed me to do some of the steering work, which was cool. I was a bit quiet because right before that, I began feeling sick and I was trying to shake it off. He talked to the captain for a bit and then shifted his attention to me as the sun was setting. Again, I didn’t think anything of it when he asked the captain to “take a picture.” My fiancé surprised me when he said, “this has been the best two years of my life and I couldn’t ask for anything more. Will you be mine forever?”

My reaction? I began cursing profusely and shaking my head in utter shock. I didn’t cry, I was just in shock.  I didn’t say yes for at least 30 seconds and he began getting nervous. Oh, this was all taken on video too! So, eventually, I got myself together and shook my head ‘yes’. He pulled me in and kissed me. But, I was too shocked to do anything except for putting my hand over my mouth.

That night, we went to an exquisite restaurant, walked around St. Augustine and then went back to the hotel to relax.  The only people who could know were in the people at my job.  He told his good friend, but that was only because he wanted to hang out on the night we planned to break the news and have dinner with our parents. You’ll never know how hard it was to keep it a secret, but we pulled it off.

Via Pucker Mob

Being There For Your Significant Other Even When You’re Feeling Frustrated

There are several ways in which you can feel frustrated. If you stub your toe, lose a loved one, get into a car accident, etc. Those are just a few examples to note.

But. the biggest frustration could be about something that doesn’t directly affect you, yet it does. Does that make sense or are you lost? It does so in a different way. It could be about what’s going on with your significant other.

Maybe you’re sick of their job and want nothing more than for them to quit. It could be because their company is making their health worse and worse. So, before your eyes, you must watch them get sick, express their frustrations day in and day out, as well as look for other jobs and not find a single one. But, at the end of the day, there is nothing you can do except listen. And, when you yourself start to feel the frustration, how are you supposed to help?

Well, think about it: if you’re feeling like crap, how do you think they’re feeling? You listen and provide moral support, but it’s the same time over and over again and it’s exhausting. You are emotional drained, yet you still listen because they need you more than ever. Once you stop listening, you’re leaving them with the burden, which could lead to serious health problems.

You begin to worry about them every day and hope they’re okay, but you aren’t physically there to see. So, again, you hope nothing will happen to them. But, how can you be so sure? How do you know? You hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

At the end of the day, you want this to stop. You want to feel good about their job and not constantly worry about them. It’s just frustrating, but you mustn’t let it get the best of you! You must press on and be strong for them. Put on a brave face. Keep your chin up, sweetheart. Things will get better.

Via Pucker Mob

When You Meet “The Right Guy” Hold Onto Him

I’ve been hearing that the dating pool is getting harder and harder to swim through these days.

I think it’s because all of us have such high expectations of how we envision guys, so when they don’t have all the credentials we’re searching for, they just don’t make the cut. But, that’s a huge issue in our society.

Magazines and media often advertise this fairytale idea and us girls try to make a guy became ‘that guy.’ When he’s not, we become disappointed and let down.

We look online for relationships and sometimes we get lucky and sometimes we don’t.

My mother has always told me that I’d meet ‘the right guy’ when I least expected it and she was correct.

When I met my fiancé, I was not looking for a relationship.

I just wanted a friendship. To my surprise, it turned into forever. However, some girls just don’t get that lucky.

I was blessed with meeting my mate online, which is odd since I’ve always been so against online relationships. Regardless, it happened.

So, here are a few things you need to know when looking for your mate:

1. Do not set your expectations so high. I’ve learned no one is perfect, therefore, my husband won’t be either.

But I’ve accepted him for who he is and have learned to deal with his flaws. And, he’s done the same for me. Just remember who is there for you at the end of the day.

2. My boyfriend/fiancé doesn’t do that for me. I won’t lie to you – there have been times I’ve said this exact phrase and I regret it.

My guy is supportive, loving, kind and sweet, but he’s not one to write me a letter. Since I’m a writer, I would love something like that, but I learned to accept that part of him and focus on the other aspects I love.

For instance, if I need him, he would never hesitant to be there or if I want a hug, he won’t push me away. Little things like that really matter.

3. Life is not a fairytale. Okay – this one took me a long time to be OKAY with. I mean, I still think about it, but not as often as before. I’ve seen a bunch of romance movies where the guy does this and that for his girl and then, I begin comparing. STOP! Don’t do it! The sooner you can accept that guys aren’t like Channing Tatum, the sooner you’ll be okay.  Who would want him anywho? Pst…

Just remember to lower your standards and expectations and I’m sure you’ll meet the guy of your dreams.

Well, it could be possible…But, once you do meet your match, I’d encourage you to do everything in your power not to lose him/let him go.

Via Pucker Mob

You Get One “Great Love” In Life

Some might disagree with this statement I’m about to make, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I believe in life, we get one ‘great love.’ There, I said it. For those who get re-married because their spouse passed or they got a divorce, it could be possible that their next love will be even better than their previous, but it doesn’t work in all cases. Remember – there are exceptions to every rule!

I’ve been told that Brett being my first could causes issues later on because he’s my ‘first love,’ I might ‘wonder’ about other men. I don’t believe that for a second and I’ll tell you why: you never forget your first love and the way he makes me feel when you kiss him, touch him, hug him or when he sits next to you. Don’t tell me how I’m feeling sounds like ‘infatuation’ when I’ve sacrificed, put him first, have been there when he’s needed me and have been very supportive because you don’t know the half of it! Just because he’s my first doesn’t mean it’s not my ‘great love.’

Know how I know no one will top this feeling? I get butterflies whenever he holds my hand, whenever he’s near me, whenever I hear his voice. You may call me ‘naive’ or whatever you’d like, but you’ll never know how I truly feel about this man. I would literally die for him.

Whenever he expresses his work troubles, my heart aches thinking about what he’s going through. Just because I’m not ‘physically’ there doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. It doesn’t mean his job isn’t stressing me out. I mean, I worry about him every single day. You might call me ‘obsessed’ or what not, but that’s not the case whatsoever. This is the type of love where I could not live without him. I could not imagine a world without Brett. I could not go a day without seeing, touching, kissing or hugging him – unless I absolutely had to.

When you find this ‘great love,’ do not let him go! Do everything in your power to fight for him! Maintaining your love is a challenge, but if he’s really your ‘great love,’ you will do anything to keep that bond forever and ever!

Via Pucker Mob

Blue Note Whiskey Bar Restaurant Review

I have to say – you might be rather skeptical when a bar/restaurant is in a hotel, but when you try Blue Note Whiskey Bar in the Holiday Inn on SiloHill Lane in Murfreesboro, you’ll change your mind! I was certainly surprised about how good the food was! So, open your mouth and head over to this delicious restaurant!

I went with my fiancé and our friends. The cook was generous and provided us with quesadillas as well as desserts. And, unfortunately, even though I’m unable to eat cheese, our friends and my fiancé loved them. They described them as mouth-watering with the perfect amount of cheese and salsa. They hit the spot right before we ordered our meal.

I chose the Salmon burger with sweet potato fries. You would think the ‘patty’ would be fishy, but actually, it was crunchy and way better than a piece of meat! The guys ordered the black bean burger and never had one before. They both told me it was out-of-this-world and the beans made it a superb burger. It was the perfect combination of beans, brown rice, corn, chilies and peppers! Talk about a win-win!

Our desserts were a fresh batch of white chocolate, oatmeal raisin as well as chocolate cookies! Yum!

Their menu includes other foods such as : Chicken Quesadillas NY Style Cheesecakes Chef’ Choice Appetizer (Fried basil w/ charred tomato & beef) Hot Wing Appetizer Game Night Nachos Garden Salad-Banquets Game Night Chips & Salsa Game Night Cajun Shrimp Cocktail.

Here’s their menu below:

12528102_1149534918412540_1131831075_n

12557631_1152395674793131_40305256_o12606873_1152396621459703_419123856_n.jpg

12596977_1152395844793114_55186485_o.jpg20160116_190125.jpg

So, be sure to head over there today and grab some good food!

 

 

Once A Goodie Goodie, Always A Goodie Goodie

Ever since I was young, I’ve always been a ‘goodie goodie.’ I was raised not to get into any trouble, ditch school or cheat. And, so that carried over into adulthood. But, when I was in 5th grade, my friend and I were in a Giant Supermarket and she proceeded to steal a piece of candy and dared me to do the same. So, naturally to feel as if I was “breaking the rules,” so I followed suit. But even that act made me feel like a bad person.

There was another time where at the age of 11, my mother didn’t want me watching R rated movies, but I was over the same friends house doing it anyway. I remember calling to ask her if I was able to sleep over and old her we were watching PG movies. Meanwhile, her mother stood there telling me it was OKAY to lie to my own mother. I felt guilty, but never told my mom the real truth. I felt like a rebel. Every time I’d hang out with her, we’d get into some sort of trouble. I was rather naïve and always went with the flow, so I never asked any questions. I just listened to her whenever she told me to do something. I was being polite and didn’t want her to call me a sissy if I didn’t do something.

This behavior continued throughout middle school until I had enough and broke our friendship. I was a goodie to shoes and didn’t want any part in doing anything wrong or bad. I always ended up feeling like I was committing a crime anyway.

In high school and college, I was more likely to hang out with the brains than the ‘cool people’ because those folks always got into trouble. However, there were times when the ‘cool people’ weren’t as bad as you think.

In general, I didn’t smoke or drink in high school and I intended to keep it that way. You can call me a goodie goodie all you want because I totally was and still am. I mean, I am way less naïve and do not allow others to walk all over me, but still, I feel guilty if I hurt someone’s feelings. I think that will always be part of me and hey, I don’t think it’s a bad thing either!

Via Puckermob