Something tells me I’m going to be one worried mother. How do I know? Well, I grew up with one who would literally worry about me day in and day out. She needed me to text her when I got to work, had to know all my plans and who I was with and how long I’d be out. When I confronted her about why she always needed to know all of this information, she simply told me I didn’t understand and I will one day when I become a mother. But, since having someone I love dearly and would do anything for, I think I finally get it.
Let’s fast forward to now being engaged. I believe it’s the same sort of thing. I often worry about him, wonder how he’s doing, where he is and it probably has to do with his current job. Working between 12-15 per day is not only stressful for that person, it also begins to effect the other person. And, here’s the thing : he probably doesn’t fully understand how much I really do worry about his well-being.
So, this has lead me to believe I might be the same way with my kids. However, I promised myself I would not do it to the extent of my mother. She was a bit too overprotective and did not let us blossom and bloom to the best of our abilities. I just think that I’ll always be a worrier in general – just like her.
I sat on the couch until after 12:00 last night waiting for my fiancé to come home. I couldn’t sleep. I had to wait for his arrival because I was too worried to fall asleep. Just like a mother – I could not fall asleep until he was safe and sound. And, I thought myself that if I absolutely had to, it would be in the living room, where I’d hear him walk through the door. I looked for his truck every chance I got and even looked at my phone from time-to-time to see if it was broken, waiting for the phone call or e-mail telling me he was heading home. I would wait for him forever and again, I think I’ll do the same for my kids.
I mean, once my kids reach a certain age, I’ll let them go, but in the beginning, worrying will become my best friend and I know it! And, my future mother-in-law has told me it’s a mother’s job to worry. So, that tells me something right there.
Just come home. Come home.