For starters, I’m not an affectionate person. I never have been and probably never will be. It’s rather odd since my mother is overly affectionate at times. She’s told me that even as a kid, I wasn’t that affectionate and she never understood it. She’s always been very lovey-dovey with us, but it seems I just didn’t catch on.
I was like this in relationships as well. I’d occasionally give my boyfriends a hug or kiss, but it wasn’t to the point where they needed to tell me to stop. In fact, they were never that way either, so that’s probably why it never worked out between the two of us. Two unaffectionate people do not make a good couple.
My last boyfriend was too much for me. He always needed to be right next to me all the time and it drove me absolutely crazy. I actually had to a conversation with him about it and he stopped for a period of time, but then, he would start up again. And, also, whenever we were eating at school, he’d sit there and rub my back! This happened while I was consuming my lunch and I did not like it. Who wants to be rubbed when they’re eating? Not me. It’s safe to say, we broke up after 6 months.
In general, I always felt like I needed to be a little distant when it came to relationships.
Well, that was until I met my fiancé. Looking back, it’s funny that in the very beginning of our relationship, I told him I wasn’t an affectionate person and then I later turned into being an overly affectionate person. He knew about my previous boyfriend and wanted to make sure he wasn’t like that as well. He actually told me he was not a touchy-feely type of person either, so we were like a match made in heaven.
But, gradually, I started becoming affectionate – only with him though. I’m not that way with anyone else. There are times where I’ll hug my mom randomly, but it’s not that often. When it comes to him, I need to feel his touch and would kiss him all day – if I could. And, he doesn’t mind because now, he’s the same way with me. But, just like me, he’s only this way when it comes to me.
I hope this changes a bit when we start having kids though because the last thing I want to do is to push my kids away when they want to give their mom a hug. But, I don’t think it will happen because whenever my dog comes and lies next to me, I don’t mind one bit.
Here’s to hoping!