Social Media Doesn’t Show You Everything – But Why?

I would never post a status about my fiancé and I getting into an argument. I wouldn’t say the whole night was ruined because he was pissing me off or that I was making him feel frustrated with my countless questions. Do you know why? It’s because I’d prefer not to show that side of their relationship and neither do other people.

I don’t have anything against Jessie J. In fact, I love her and think she’s the sweetest and one of the realest celebrities there is. But, I don’t think her and her hubby always get along. She posts photos of the two of them, but she’s never says anything about getting into fights and not talking to each other. She won’t reveal that side because who wants to hear anything negative about someone’s marriage? Who wants to hear that someone’s marriage is a sham?

It’s rather funny that as humans we only post what we want you to see, yet we’re all obsessed with drama. We watch Teen Mom, the Kardashians, and other reality TV shows because we can dive into someone else’s life for an hour and see their lives unfolding in a negative manner. This means whatever is going on in our own lives is shifted to someone else’s. We absolutely love watching these shows – me included – because they seem real. Unfortunately, they’re all scripted, yet we weren’t stop tuning in every Monday night!

We also won’t make a status saying that we don’t have many friends and don’t go out that often, right? We always want to look as if we’re doing something instead of staying in because well, that’s lame, am I correct? Additionally, we’ll always talk about the good characteristics of the guy we’re dating because who wants to know that you guys don’t really have anything in common? That would be a turn-off.

But, why?

Well, we want to look like we fit in. We don’t want others to judge us if we seem as if we never do anything. Not to mention, constantly posting negative statutes just gets annoying and  who wants to get un-friended over that?

We’re a society that is on the move and always needs to do something, go somewhere or hang out with someone. We’re usually considered a “loser” if we just sit at home and watch movies. Your parents will say, ‘why don’t you ever go anywhere?’ So, not only are you being judging by family members, you’re being looked down upon by peers and your social media friends.

But, I say, go ahead! Post your true feelings, photos and what’s really going on in your life! I dare you.

Via Mogul

What My Fiance Taught Me — In the 3 Years We’ve Been Together

It’s funny how things can change in the blink of an eye.  In just a year’s time span, your whole world can turn upside down. As humans, we cannot predict the future. All we can do is hope for the best and expect the worst.

A year ago, I was a mess. I don’t mean like emotionally unstable or anything like that, I’m talking about not being able to make my own decisions, dressing like I didn’t have a ton of confidence and hiding whenever someone wanted to confront me. But, I learned how to cope with situations, dress better and not be so afraid to confront someone. While I’d like to say I learned all of this on my own, I’d be lying to you and I’m an honest person.

It was my fiancé who taught me these things.

Just being around him instilled confidence and better judgment I never knew I had. I’ve been with him for almost 3 years and I am not the same person as I was when we met. It’s a positive thing though!

He wanted me to see the qualities he saw in me : attractive and having confidence. But, it wasn’t just about my appearance, he wanted me to stop being a coward and ‘grow some balls’ –or so to speak. And, I did.

He didn’t teach me to stand up for myself though. My job taught me that along with having a thicker skin and learning how to open my mouth – when necessary. There are so many lessons to learn in life and everyone around me has told me I’m so young and I have a long road ahead. What they don’t know is, it’s not just about ‘learning,’ it has to do with experience.

I moved 800+ miles away from home to another state with a guy I’d been with for 15 months. Sure – I was fearful that it wouldn’t work out, that I’d have to retreat back home and start over. But, deep down, I knew he was the one for me, I just needed more time to realize it. I needed to live with him in order to see the real person he was. We had to endure situations together and see how each other reacted.

He gives me the tough love I needed all along and I appreciate him each and every day. But, you must know I didn’t know this right away. It took time and patience, but I finally got to a point where I knew he was the guy I’d marry. Even though we don’t always get along, we will love each other no matter what!

Via Mogul

5 Struggles You Face Having A Tall Fiancé

I am 5’4 and my fiancé is 6’1.  When we met online and he told me how tall he was, I began looking at women who were my height and men who were his. I was actually worried that we’d look awkward together. Everywhere I went, I searched for men and women the same size as him and I. I pictured him and I holding hands and convincing myself it wouldn’t be as strange as my mind was making it out to be. Sure – they didn’t look odd together, but what if he and I didn’t look good?

To my surprise, when we met in person, I was concerned about nothing because our height difference wasn’t as extreme as I imagined.

Honestly, I’d rather him be that tall because I feel protected knowing I have a big strong man with me – in case something happens. When it comes to women, we tend to look for men around 6’0 and above because of that reason.

But, this is not me complaining about having a tall fiancé, rather it’s the struggles I face being well, short compared to him.

  • Selfies.  Let’s say whenever he and I take a photo, he’s the one who takes it because he’s taller and his arm is longer than him.  But, in some photos, it just looks awkward.
  • Taking walks.  Since he has longer legs than me, he tends to walk faster leaving me behind. I mean, come on, honey, slow down – I often have to shout.
  • Conversing in loud spots.  Since I am on the ‘shorter’ side, he cannot hear me whenever we are in a loud restaurant. He often says I’m all the way ‘down there’ while he’s ‘up here.’
  • His clothes are dresses on me.  Whenever he gives me a sweatshirt of his, it goes past my knees leaving the public think I have no pants. No, I assure you, I do have shorts underneath here. Want to see?
  • I need a stool in high places.  He likes to put our blender and medicine on the top shelf, but when he does that, I need to get my stool out and stand on it. Uh… hello, I cannot just reach for those items, I’m short!

Maybe you can relate?

Via Mogul

When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens

One week.

One week until our lives turn completely upside down – again.  I mean things like, “we just got here,” “I’m not ready to leave” and “I’ll miss this place” come and go. Sure – I’ve accepted the situation for what it is and can’t change anything, but there’s still part of me that’s rather sad.

We spent a year in Tennessee, so we’ve sort of built a life here.

“Tennessee failed you guys, you didn’t fail it,” said my fiancé’s mom and my mom. And, it’s true.

We didn’t do anything wrong except take a chance. We had no idea what the outcome would be, but we tried. We tried our hardest and we both fought for it and never gave up. Even though I’ll miss living in Tennessee, I knew it was temporary and that we never truly ‘fit’ in.

It seems, most people in Tennessee are chatty and we’re the opposite. He and I are rather quiet people; it’s just in our nature and that’s not how everyone surrounding us was. People would often question why he and I were so quiet, but that’s just always been who we are.

It’s not our fault his boss and co-worker insulted his work ethic. It’s not our fault he got blamed for not doing a ‘good enough’ job. It’s not our fault we have to move back to PA. I can’t sit here and blame him or myself because it’s not our fault.

But, even though we’re closing this chapter in our lives, it doesn’t mean I should feel sorry for myself that it didn’t turn out how we planned. I shouldn’t feel like a failure. I shouldn’t beat myself up about it.

I’ve always favored the phrase, ‘when one door closes, another door opens.’ And, it’s true. We’re going to start over and see where life takes us! This could be a blessing in disguise, but I won’t know it right now.

I’m ready to take the next step in my life and really focus on our wedding because that’s the most important going on at this time. And, I’ll shift all my worries, concerns and stress over to wedding planning instead of my career.

Via Mogul

Never Give Up — Despite Life’s Many Obstacles

I could give up, throw my hands up in the air and say, “I’m done,” but I won’t do that.

I was in another one of my moods today when I felt down. I was so frustrated because I feel like nothing ever works out in my favor. It seems in life, the better of a person you are, the worse off you are.  Why is it that all the shitty people get stuff handed to them, but the good people always get screwed over?  Does that mean I should treat people like crap and I’ll get everything I ever wanted? What does this say about society? Also, why do the good people die young and get sick?

So, I was feeling sorry for myself because still, at 26, I’m not where I’d like to be.  I was on the verge of tears as I got back into my car after I came home for break. But, then, I turned on the radio and heard, “Rise Up” by Andra Day. Now, I’m not a religious person and maybe it has nothing to do with religion, but it spoke to me. It’s as if Andra was telling me not to give up, to ‘rise up and be unafraid.’ And, you know what? In that moment, I listened to her and stopped myself in my tracks.

I mean, things could be worse. My health could be bad, my family could be unsupportive, my fiancé could treat me horribly and we could have nowhere to live. Things could always be worse, correct? That’s what my fiancé has told me throughout this entire process. He’s reminded me this time and time again, yet it never clicked.

Well, today it did.

So, we have to move back to PA.  Not everything works out how you’d like it to.  We learned so much living here and at first, I felt like a failure, but my parents constantly told me I was not. We successfully lived on our own for a year and we never needed any assistance from anyone – other than moving here. We made it and I couldn’t be prouder. I mean, there are people who could never do what we did – move away from everything they’ve ever known to a place they know not a soul but each other.

We took a huge risk and I have to be happy for having the guts to do this.

I remember a year ago when we talked about this.  This was all we spoke about for about a week weighing the pros/cons. We knew we needed to start over and Tennessee was a great opportunity to do so. Sure – I was terrified that I wouldn’t find a job, that things might not work out with my fiancé and I.  I was trying to be realistic about everything and in the back of my mind, I hoped everything would be okay, but you can never be sure.

There was a reason why Tennessee wasn’t meant to be. We didn’t want to live here forever, but we also didn’t want to leave so soon.  How would we have planned our wedding from Tennessee? How would we have gone back and forth 4 times this year? How would we have been able to live on just my income? We had to ask ourselves these questions and from there, the decision was made to move back home until we get back on our feet.

Nothing needs to last forever and until the wedding, we’re going to reside in PA.  This should be the happiest time of our lives and instead, it’s been miserable, sad and depressing. We need to re-group in PA, focus on saving money and figuring out what our future will look like. Then, after that, we can move again and this time be sure it’s the right decision.

Via Puckermob

Learning How To Pick Your Fights In A Relationship

At times, I’ve wondered why my parents fought with each other.  I mean, they seemed to be so love in and then, out of nowhere, they’d get into an argument and not talk. I was a kid and just didn’t get why they had to argue. But, that changed when I moved in with my fiancé.

We needed to learn how to get along and work together – not against one another.  It wasn’t easy and I learned that rather quick when we got into our first argument.

I’ve always been told, “you pick and choose your arguments.” And, again, I didn’t know what that meant until I was the one in the situation.

After a long day of work, the last thing I want to do is argue.  And, there were times he’d piss me off and I’d do my best to shrug it off because I did not want to start an argument. But, then, there were others when I had to bring it to the surface because it was bothering me and it did not end pretty.

My fiancé has always been the one to shut down in an argument because he doesn’t feel that it’s necessary to talk about it – after a certain point. There are times when I push him a bit far and that’s my fault.  But, he also needs to work on talking through it and not shutting down.

I know this is what most men do, but men, please, don’t do this to us because it bothers most of us more than you’ll ever know! You think we like arguing? No way!  In fact, I always try to avoid it since my stomach ends up feeling queasy and uncomfortable.

So, if you’re in the stage of rainbows and butterflies, just to let you know that it will be fun while it lasts, but once you live together, you’re going to get a taste of reality! It’s not always like that. I thought that living with him would always be fun, exciting and thrilling, but it’s not always like it. And, I know he feels the same. But, you learn to work together and not let the petty shit ruin your day/night!

You have to work for a relationship. It doesn’t always come easy. If you never fight, that means someone is either lying or faking because not every day will be magical with them. There are hard times and in those moments, you learn so much about your significant other – whether you like it or not.

Via Puckermob

Taking Chances : You’ll Never Know Until You Try

Should I move? Should I date him/her? Should I take the job? Should I attend that university?

Life leaves you with many decisions to make. Sometimes, you are left feeling that you’ve made the wrong one. The question is – how do you truly know if you made the right decision? If you cannot foresee the future, how do you know it won’t come and bite you in the behind? Well, from what I’ve learned, you won’t know until you try.

I’m a goodie-goodie who never took chances. I just wanted to stay in my little bubble. But, that changed when I decided to move to Tennessee with my fiancé. I no longer wanted to be afraid, but we took the plunge together.

People around me questioned if it was the right choice and I kept assuring them that it was. I felt in my heart that it was a big move, but it would teach us about life and what it takes to make it in the real world. They didn’t agree and said it was a rash decision and I should take more time to think it through. But, I didn’t need anymore because I was doing it regardless of what anyone else said. Sure – I listened to their reasoning and their opinion, but I wasn’t basing it off of what they told me.

Here we are a year later and I don’t regret it one bit.

I wouldn’t have met my co-worker Kristi and became friends with her; I wouldn’t have known how it feels to live in Tennessee; I wouldn’t have been able to know the sense of freedom; I wouldn’t have gotten to know my fiancé a bit more; I may not even be engaged; we wouldn’t have gotten Ollie, our dog; I wouldn’t have become a stronger person and I wouldn’t have a story to tell about our year in Tennessee.

So, this is what happens when you step out of your comfort zone and try new things. If you’re constantly too afraid to take risks and chances, you’ll never know what you’re missing. Going back to one year ago and making the choice to move here, I wouldn’t have done it any differently. You can spend your whole life asking yourself what if this or what if that, but you’ll never truly know anything, unless you give it a shot.

Take a chance.

Via Puckermob

The Only Consistent Thing In My Life Is My Fiancé – Maybe That Was The Point

Before I met my fiancé – in 2013 – I was rather obsessed with my career being number 1.  While I started my last semester, at college, I was already thinking about a job while everyone else was struggling to get through classes. I knew that it was important to set myself up for success, so I researched internships, jobs and freelance positions that would help me in my career.  I learned that I needed a college course in order to obtain an internship, so in spring 2013, I took the course and obtained an internship at Good Housekeeping Magazine.

I always knew I wanted to become a writer, but while in college, I learned I wanted to be a magazine writer. So, I made it appoint to get an internship for a magazine and my dream came true when I received an e-mail that I was offered the Editorial internship! I figured my career would take off. Well, I hoped for the best.

About a month into the internship, I became scared, so I started looking for jobs.  But, I couldn’t find anything, so I spent that summer working for Barnes & Noble.  Later that year, I obtained an internship at Family Circle Magazine.

Then, I met my fiancé.

We were both struggling to find ourselves. I told him that my career was extremely important to me and I didn’t want him to stand in my way. I didn’t need anything ruining my chances of becoming a magazine writer.

Again, toward the beginning of my internship, I began looking for jobs so I wasn’t screwed in the end.  The internship ended the following April, but I wasn’t presented with a position at the end. I was left feeling disappointed because I worked my ass off to get these two internships, yet I didn’t gain anything. I mean, sure I got experience, but nothing came out of it.

But, even as I looked for jobs, my fiancé was there while I went through the rough patch.

Eventually, I got a job, but it paid nearly nothing, so I only stayed a few months. I moved onto another position, but it just wasn’t the right fit. Then, we learned he obtained a job in another state, so we moved.

But, here’s the thing: maybe I was supposed to learn something throughout this whole process. At the end of the day, it seems my fiancé was the only consistent thing in my life. Despite wanting a career so badly, he was the only thing that stayed the same.

I was supposed to learn a lesson and that was no matter what career I have, it doesn’t matter if I don’t have someone to share it with. What’s the point? I mean, think about it. Even if I had a superb job that paid well, yet I didn’t have a partner to bask in the glory of all of it, life wouldn’t be as enjoyable.

So, at the end of the day, I’m glad I found someone to spend the rest of my life with and hopefully, my career will follow.

 

Via Puckermob