At times, I’ve wondered why my parents fought with each other. I mean, they seemed to be so love in and then, out of nowhere, they’d get into an argument and not talk. I was a kid and just didn’t get why they had to argue. But, that changed when I moved in with my fiancé.
We needed to learn how to get along and work together – not against one another. It wasn’t easy and I learned that rather quick when we got into our first argument.
I’ve always been told, “you pick and choose your arguments.” And, again, I didn’t know what that meant until I was the one in the situation.
After a long day of work, the last thing I want to do is argue. And, there were times he’d piss me off and I’d do my best to shrug it off because I did not want to start an argument. But, then, there were others when I had to bring it to the surface because it was bothering me and it did not end pretty.
My fiancé has always been the one to shut down in an argument because he doesn’t feel that it’s necessary to talk about it – after a certain point. There are times when I push him a bit far and that’s my fault. But, he also needs to work on talking through it and not shutting down.
I know this is what most men do, but men, please, don’t do this to us because it bothers most of us more than you’ll ever know! You think we like arguing? No way! In fact, I always try to avoid it since my stomach ends up feeling queasy and uncomfortable.
So, if you’re in the stage of rainbows and butterflies, just to let you know that it will be fun while it lasts, but once you live together, you’re going to get a taste of reality! It’s not always like that. I thought that living with him would always be fun, exciting and thrilling, but it’s not always like it. And, I know he feels the same. But, you learn to work together and not let the petty shit ruin your day/night!
You have to work for a relationship. It doesn’t always come easy. If you never fight, that means someone is either lying or faking because not every day will be magical with them. There are hard times and in those moments, you learn so much about your significant other – whether you like it or not.