There Was A Reason We Had To Come Back

“Remember the time we took Ollie to Barktoberfest and we dressed him like a lion?” I asked my fiancé. He laughed and nodded his head.

It’s almost been 2 months. Two months and I still cannot let Tennessee go. I still have it tucked safely in the back of my mind. Two months and I still feel the need to talk about it, memories come flooding back to me and I can’t help but bring them up in my fiancé.

Whenever I close my eyes, I pretend we’re living in Tennessee and I’m in our bed at our apartment safe and snug. The bedroom door is on my left and if I get up to leave the room, I’ll see the bathroom on the left. All of our stuff is spread neatly around the apartment. Photos of us and Ollie hang on the walls.

We’re 800 + miles away from home, but that’s okay because I have my freedom, my man and my dog to keep me company. Additionally, I have my work friend, whom I confide in when I’m feeling sad or lonely. My parents and his parents are a phone call, facebook message or skype chat away. I missed them so badly at first, but then eventually, in the end, I was okay. There were days I would give anything to see them, but knew I couldn’t.

“Unfortunately, we’re going to be here 3-4 years the way things are going,” my fiancé said one day.

I knew I didn’t want to be here that long, but I accepted it. I mean, I had my freedom, space and was living on my own – finally!

We had a routine. I worked 9-5 Monday – Friday and he would switch from 6-2 and 10-6. I would come home on my break from work and let the dog out and then, when I came home after 5, I’d let the dog out again and cook dinner. He’d come home from work exhausted nearly every day, but still had the energy to workout with me after we ate dinner.

Then, I open my eyes and I wasn’t in our apartment in Tennessee; I’m in his parents house living in his brothers old room. I exit the room and the bathroom is on my left, but on the right instead of a wall in our apartment, there’s a hallway leading to his parents room.  His parents, who have generously allowed us to stay at their house while we get back on our feet. His parents, who I appreciate each and every day and would never take for granted.

I tend to forget about all of the negative things this situation brought though.

I grew too dependent on him and I lost myself. I became lazy and always needed to have him by my side. I never really did anything on my own because I needed him to do it with me.  My fiancé and I had literally nothing to do. We had a couple we used to go out to dinner periodically, but it wasn’t that often. We argued time and time again over stupid stuff. I missed my family and friends and yearned to go dancing, but there really wasn’t anyone to do it with. We were unable to attend important events or get close with our families. I grew too dependent on him and I lost myself.

But, what about when I wanted to exchange my wedding dress? I wouldn’t have had my mom around to accompany me. And, I wouldn’t have been able to make DIY wedding décor. I wouldn’t have been able to comfortably enjoy being engaged because I would have been too damn flustered and stressed out.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

And, now, it’s time to move on, move forward and stop reliving the past because it’s doing nothing but bringing me down. It’s time to finally accept the situation and zip my lips. Sure –  I miss Tennessee sometimes so much that it hurts, but everything must come to an end at some point. So, this is my goodbye to Tennessee and hello to a new adventure!

Via Puckermob

We’ve Been Through So Much And We’re Just Getting Started

When my fiancé and I met, we were in the same position – looking for jobs and living at home.

We were the ones who commuted to and from college. We never got to experience living away from home, so we didn’t understand how it felt to have true independence.

A few months went by and he obtained his first full-time job.

I was happy for him, but yearned to find one. The next year, he received his diploma and began to work long hours and was switched to an overnight shift, which affected his health.

That summer, I obtained my first full-time job, but quickly learned what I truly wanted was to be a social media coordinator. So, I began looking for job elsewhere and got another position. ‘

Still, him and I were not very happy with our living situation, so we looked for an apartment. Unfortunately, it fell through because we quickly learned things are pretty expensive.

The following year, he found a job in Tennessee and so, we mutually decided to move and start our lives.

We went through so much living in the south. At first, I was unhappy being so far away from home and he comforted me. But, at the same time, we were still getting to know each other, so we had to learn each other’s flaws, strengths and weaknesses.

During that time, we got a dog, got engaged, became independent, and one of us lost a loved one. But, we got through it together and leaned one each other when we needed it the most.

But, things turned upside down — again — when my fiancé lost his job.

And, so, we had to move back to PA. So, again, we had to deal with the situation in a mature manner.

It’s been a long and hard road, but I’m so glad we’ve endured it together. I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d like to be with!

We’ve only been together for 2 and a half years, but in my heart, I knew he was the one for me. I knew he was special even before we met. And, the best thing about it is by the end of the year, we’re getting married. I’m so excited to be his forever!

I look forward to what’s to come because well, we’re just getting started!

Via Puckermob

Meet Someone Organically On The LOV Dating App

Tired of those online dating sites like Okcupid and Plentyoffish? Are you looking for something more than just a swipe? If so, you’re in for a real treat with the LOV Dating App.

According to the site, their motto is to “GROW LOVE ORGANICALLY…Plant The Seed That Will Grow Into A Relationship.” And, finally, there’s an app that lets you meet before you meet! Sure – you can exchange skype names or facetime, but maybe you don’t feel comfortable handing out your number or name right away. With this app, you don’t even need to give out your phone number; you can chat via text or video on the app itself!

One of the best things about this app is as long as you’re a human, you can join! They use phone verification from twitter digits, so you won’t have to sign up through an e-mail or a social network. Can other dating apps do that? Probably not!

Here are 4 cool features this app has, according to Lovapp.co:

  • LOV allows you to introduce yourself to anyone.

Don’t be shy, reach out and say HELLO!

  • ONLY CHAT WITH THOSE WHO HAVE POTENTIAL

After an intro, no further messages can be received until you’ve responded.

  • SIMPLY DESIGNED FOR YOUR BENEFIT

You always have 5 connections (flower pots) available
so you can focus on your best potentials.

  • DATE ASSISTANT BUILT-IN

Yelp integration finds the best date spots for you, while LOV let’s you both schedule, and reminds you before your date.

Watch this video for more details : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBcXtWppej0&feature=youtu.be

Download this app through Google play. Also, be sure to visit LOVapp.co for more general information!

Via Mogul

Why I’m Still Not Ready For Kids At 26

I am in no position to have children at this time. Do you want to know why? I can barely support myself.

Honestly, when I was a teenager, I figured by 25, I’d at least be married with one kid. Well, I hit that mark last year and here I am.

I ‘m engaged to the man of my dreams, but him and I are in no condition to have kids. We can barely support ourselves!

I thought we all had it figured out — until we had to move back to PA and start over.

Sure – it was a pain in the behind, but it happened. So,life moves on and we must continue on another path.

Living in Tennessee was part of our lives and we’ll always remember it fondly, but it wasn’t going to be forever.

I heard that most 26-year-olds are not ready to have kids.

I mean, aren’t we still supposed to be figuring out who we are at this age? Don’t we want to know ourselves inside and out before we bring human being into this world? I’m in no way bashing people who have kids right now, but rather, I’m saying I’m not ready.

If you’re set for life, I’m happy for you, but some of us aren’t so lucky.

I’m merely 5 months away from marriage, but that doesn’t meanI’m going to be popping out kids anytime soon! I still have a few years to go before that. In order for that, him and I both need to be stable in our lives without being concerned about losing our jobs.

You may say no one is safe these days, but I’m just saying more confident, that’s all.

I mean, ideally, I’d like to travel to a few places before we have kids, enjoy each other as a married couple before things get crazy and wild.

Our lives are going to be turned completely upside down and I must admit –I am scared.

I’m afraid my kids will get bullied, picked on, bashed because this world can be rather cruel.

I’m scared I’m going to mess up somehow, make a mistake parenting him/her. But, isn’t every parent apprehensive about that?

I’ve heard being a parent is the hardest, but most rewarding job in the world.

I take being a parent seriously and when I tell you I need time to figure out who the hell I am, I’m just being honest with you.

The last thing I want to do is have a child when I’m simply not ready. So, until then, I ‘ll just practice parenting skills with my future sister-in-law’s baby.

via Puckermob

I No Longer Feel Safe In This World

On Sunday morning, I looked on Facebook to see the latest news happening in the world. I stopped when I heard about the shooting in Orlando. I began reading post after post, story after story, death rate increase, and felt sick to my stomach.

These victims were brothers, sisters, friends, husband, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, aunts, uncles, cousins and so on. And, they were killed in yet another act of violence. But, then I couldn’t look anymore because I was on the verge of crying.

Why?

Why must we continue to kill incident people? Why does this world generate so much hate? Why does this keep happening?

Colleges. Movie theaters. High Schools. And, now, a club? What’s next? A local coffee shop?

I told my fiancé last night that I’m afraid to go anywhere because I fear getting shot. Is sad is that? There’s no way anyone can feel safe in this world anymore. I’d like to protect all my loved ones, but it’s impossible. I’d like to crawl into a little bubble and never come out, but then, I’d never get to experience life, so I guess I have no choice but to go out. I mean, I cannot be afraid to live, but evidently, I can’t be too free because look what could happen.

Why do we allow people to carry around guns? It’s so easy to access guns these days. So, with all of this crime and violence in this world, why don’t we change our laws? If people are skeptical doing something as simple as going out to dinner, there’s a huge problem.

After continuously reading the updates, I became angry. Now, I don’t usually talk about politics or laws because I’m more interested in happy things, but this attack hit home for some reason. I mean, it just pisses me off that we’re allowing people to get away with this stuff! This should never have happened.

I just, I don’t feel safe anymore. I’m petrified about bringing children into this world with all of the hate and suicides. Until things improve – I won’t feel safe.

via Mogul

5 Ways To Be Less Selfish

“At least we have each other,” my future father-in-law said to me last night. And, he’s right.

Throughout this whole ordeal, I’m forgetting one key thing: the fact that both our parents are supportive and would do anything to help us out. His parents have kindly allowed us to move in with them and when they sell their house in a few months, move in with them again in an apartment. If that’s not kindness, I don’t know what is.

But, I guess I’ve just been thinking about my own emotions and not focusing on the others – like my fiancé.

I mean, he’s the one who got let go, not me. He’s the one who has continuous bad luck and can’t catch a break, not me. Yet, I’m the one who has been selfish and I haven’t even noticed. I’ve been ignorant and rude.

Sometimes, I need to step back and recognize what I’m doing.

I should ask myself some questions before I start on a rant about how much I dislike this and that.

But, now, I need to stop being so damn selfish and think about someone else besides myself. We’re pretty much in the same boat. But, the last thing he needs is me bringing him down.

If you’re in a similar situation, here’s how to stop being so selfish with your significant other:

1) Consider his feelings. Maybe you can’t find a part-time job and at times feel down, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider his feelings. For example, my fiancé doesn’t vocalize them, but that doesn’t mean he’s not feeling the same way.

2) Don’t bring him down. We’re pretty much in the same boat. But, the last thing he needs is to bring him down.

3) It’s not all about you. Don’t make every single conversation about you. You can share your feelings and thoughts, but just remember the world does not revolve around you.

4) Don’t be an ass! I get it, you feel like ass, so you act like one. You shouldn’t pretend to be happy if you’re not, but don’t take your frustrations out on your significant other.

5) Listen more and talk less. When he ready to talk about his feelings, let him speak. Don’t talk over him because in some cases, it’s rare that he’s being so open and vulnerable with you in the first place.

Via Mogul

It’s Okay, It Just Wasn’t Our Time

By now, you know we’ve been living at my fiancés parents for over a month. But, a year ago, we were out on our own in Tennessee. We had our own apartment, jobs and life. We were able to decorate the apartment and do whatever we wanted to it. Would I go back to that pretty and cute place? Absolutely.

But, the reality is, it’s come and gone.

I used to feel jealous whenever my future brother-in-law and his fiancé and future sister-in-law and hubby would talk about their houses because they had something that I didn’t. But, you know what; it was “their time.” It was ‘meant to be’ for them to buy a house at that time. They’re both stable, so it was only fair. Who am I to take that away from them? I know how I felt when my fiancé and I had our place – on cloud 9.

I mean, in reality, I want nothing more than to have my own place, but it’s just not possible right now and that’s okay. I have a part-time job and he’s looking for a job. I’m just trying to stay positive and look at the good things coming up in our lives – one being getting married in November.

Honestly, we need to focus more on finding jobs that we know we want instead of ones we’re just going to take. I’m not saying that happened last time, but maybe it was a bit rushed. Even still, we learned and now, we know what we need to look for.

It has to be okay. It will be okay. It’s just not our time. It seems there’s something we need to do before we have our own place. I haven’t found out what it is, but when I do, I’ll be sure to let you know. But, for now, I’m going to focus on planning our wedding.

Via Mogul

How To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

“I feel like a loser,” I said to my fiancé, who is in almost the exact same position as I am.

But, truly, am I? Would a loser have a BA in English and an AD in Journalism? Would a loser have 5 internships in the media industry? Would a loser have been able to move away with her then-boyfriend, find a job and make on it her own? Probably not.

So, then, why do I keep doing this to myself?

So, is being down making me feel any better? Is it doing wonders for me? Nope, so, then why do I keep doing this to myself? What’s the point? It’s time to stop and just accept the situation for what it is. Sure – it was not supposed to happen, but it did. And, I may not know the reason why for a while, but it happened.

I need to learn how to bring myself back up. No one can do it other than myself. Here are some positive quotes to look at when you’re feeling sorry for yourself:

  • “Life is like photography; you need the negatives to develop.”
  • “One small positive thought in the morning can change your day.”
  • “If you can dream it, you can achieve it.”
  • “Stop saying ‘I wish’ and start saying ‘I will.’”
  • “Positive mind. Positive vibes. Positive life.”
  • “You can’t change what’s going on around you until you start changing what’s going on within you.”

Via Mogul

What Moving 800 + Miles Away Taught Me

I learned loads of stuff when I moved to Tennessee. At first, I was heartbroken that I wasn’t able to see my family on a daily basis. In fact, I had quite a few nervous breakdowns, but I got over it and grew-up. But, I’d encourage anyone considering moving so far away from home to take the leap and do it! Stop being afraid of your own shadow and try something new.

My fiancé and I needed a new beginning because we were not having much luck in the town we lived in. If you feel the same, it’s time to give-in and get out of the place you grew up in.

This is what learned throughout the process:
  • That I  can make it on my own. I knew I had the strength to eventually make it on my own, but I didn’t plan on moving so far. But, when I did, it taught me I’m stronger than I thought.
  • The  relationship with my fiancé grew stronger.  Moving so far away from home was a test for my fiancé and I. I figured we wouldn’t have any issues considering we lived together for 4 months before that. But, I had to see if we were in fact ‘meant to be’ and we mostly definitely are!
  • Independence  is truly blissful. I knew having my own place would be fun and exciting and honestly, it truly is one of the best things in life. Having a place you can call yours is an amazing feeling. Don’t ever take it for granted!
  • How to  take care of a living being. While in Tennessee, my fiancé and I adopted a dog. With this puppy, I learned how to care for something besides myself and fiancé. Together, we raised this dog to be friendly by interacting him with other dogs as well as other people.
  • How to  grow-up. At home, I was a bit immature and at times acting childish, but living on my own taught me to grow-up and stop thinking of just myself.

It’s time for you to learn and become more independent by moving away from home!

Via Puckermob

Please Stop Labeling Millennials

Millennials get shit on time and time again. We’re classified as “spoiled” “privileged” and “entitled.” I’ll probably get bashed for defending us, but someone has to.  Society says all we do is “complain.” I’m here to argue that statement. It’s called ‘venting.’ Unless you’re someone who complains and does nothing to fix it, I don’t see any issues in talking about how frustrating it is to find a job.

As a millennial, I’ve had 5 internships, freelance and still, it’s not enough.  This leads me into the documentary I was featured in called, “My Millennial Life.”  This documentary was about 5 – including myself – applying for jobs, finding love as well as ourselves and moving out for the first time.

I went to Toronto last week to see it premiere and I was rather nervous about what people would say. What I didn’t know is everyone expects millennials to “fix” everything. No one gave us the tools nor is anyone giving us a chance, so how are we supposed to do that? How are we expected to “fix” it if we weren’t the ones who broke it in the first place? Why are we being blamed for not being able to find jobs? Why don’t our parents understand that it’s not like it was when they were our age?

My dad obtained a job at the steel mill out of high school, stayed for years until he got laid off. But even still, our parents didn’t have as many issues finding work. It was rather simple and easy. Sure – they went through struggles, but it’s not the exact same as us.

Director Maureen Judge—who was a pleasure to work with over the past 2 years – constantly defends us and understands the hardships we face. In the documentary, I start off living at home, then move to Tennessee and lastly, have a difficult time living on my own with my fiancé. It was hard to watch myself at times because I remember how I felt at certain moments. I know how it felt to work in a job I wasn’t particularly fond of, which is something most millennials know about.

My story ends with finding a job in Tennessee and finally getting independence. But, what you might not know is my fiancé lost his job and we had to move back home. It was tough to watch that part because I so badly wanted to stay, but it just didn’t work out. I didn’t want to see myself talking about freedom and seeing my apartment, but I know I’ll get it again. It’s not like that’s the only time in my life that I’ll be living on my own.

This brings me back into the millennial thing. We’re taught to reach for our dreams, but sometimes, reality is a bit harsh. I know I shouldn’t dwell on the past, but it was only a month that we’ve moved back, but it’s still hard.

I just have to reiterate this; we are not lazy just because we live at home. It’s not our fault we’ve applied to so many jobs and we’re unable to land them. It’s not our fault we’re not financially stable because we are trying our damnest, but our degree and experience just is not enough. It makes you feel like crap and want to give up at times, but we did not go to college all those years just to throw in the towel. We must keep going and looking toward the future, instead of dwelling on the past.

Via Mogul