“I’ll never be the first to say I love you. You’ll have to say it,” said my fiancé a few years ago.
We met on Okcupid in October of 2013. I knew he was special and different than any guy I’ve ever met. As creepy as this sounds, there were times I’d stare at his picture for hours trying to get inside his mind. It was rather pathetic considering the picture never moved and I hadn’t met him in-person at that point. But, I’m sure girls have weirder stories they can divulge.
He asked me to be his girlfriend in November of 2013 and of course I accepted.
From there, our bond began to grow and I became rather attached to this guy.
In January of 2014, we went to a local diner for dinner and he looked me in the eyes and told me he was falling for me. Maybe it was a bit fast – it was 2 months at that point – but I actually felt the same way. I’m not going to lie – I was a bit nervous and didn’t want to get hurt.
On Valentine’s Day, we went away for the weekend. He bought me flowers and a card. As we sat in our hotel room, again, he stared into my eyes and asked, “what are you thinking about?” Truthfully, I was ‘thinking’ about how handsome he was, but that’s not what he wanted to hear. He asked me, “what else?” Maybe I was missing something?
Then, he said, “I know I said I wouldn’t say it first, but…..” pause “I love you.” My immediate thought was to say it back—even if I wasn’t ready to say it, so I said, “I love you too.” I tried to make it sound as natural as possible, but I just couldn’t pull it off and I didn’t want to lie to him. In truth, I told him that I just wasn’t ready and I felt like shit after that.
Here I had a guy that told me he loved me and I wasn’t in love with him – yet!
A few weeks later, his two friends and I were at a local bar. We were drinking, but I wasn’t drunk. Rather, I was buzzed and you know when you’re drinking, the truth comes out. So, I leaned over and whispered in his ear, “I love you.” In a bar, with his friends there, but they didn’t hear me or even notice. He says to me, “you’re drunk!” I wasn’t hurt by that because I was buzzed and I probably would have said to same thing.
The next day, I was getting ready to leave his parents house and was sitting on the floor putting my shoes on. I called him over, looked him in the eyes and said, “I love you.” This time, he believed me, hugged me and said it back.
So, it goes to show you, don’t always believe him when he says that you’ll have to say it first.