Let’s Talk Reality

So, it’s been about 2 weeks that I’ve haven’t an article.

I guess I’ve been conjuring up something that didn’t sound like I was complaining or missing Tennessee. It seems those have been my current trends the last couple of months.

Don’t worry – I won’t make this one of those articles that I solely focus on my feelings about moving and such. When it happens, I’ll welcome it with open arms. But, until then, I can only bask in the moment of where I am in life.

Let’s talk reality.

I just turned 27 and I feel old. I know you’ll say I’m being stupid, but it’s true. I recently began working at a local college and to think, I graduated from this college 6 years ago while people are just starting is insane! It blows my mind, but I know I’ll get there.

For some people, it takes time.

I think for my fiancé and I, it may take more time than the average person. We’re still trying to find ourselves before we have kids and move onto the next step in our lives.

“You know, people usually have a career first and then get married, but we’re doing the opposite,” said my fiancé.

Well, honestly, a year ago, we didn’t know we’d be in this situation, but we are and we now have to learn to deal with it. We need to face reality and the facts and I needed to let my old life go so I could move forward. I’m now looking toward the future and pondering where our next big move will be.

I’m more in-tune with reality and finally accepting my situation for what it is. This is something I should have done a long time ago, but it’s better late than never, huh?

I never had a stable career and neither has my fiancé.

We’ve both just had ‘jobs.’ They were temporary. Everything was temporary until we finally decided what we truly wanted to do in life, which is still in question.

There are days where I get frustrated. There are days where I just break down and cry. I cry because nothing seems to be working out. And, I’m sure everyone does that because we are all human.

I know that at 27 I didn’t expect to be living with parents, but my problem is comparing myself to others. There are people in worse positions than me and I need to realize that.

Even though this doesn’t seem like reality, it is. But, in a way, I’m glad this happened because it goes to show you that life isn’t perfect, life is full of bumps, twists and turns. And, we all need to find our way no matter how it happens.

Why I’ll Love My Fiancé No Matter What Job He Has (Or Doesn’t Have)

“Unfortunately, we have to move back to Pennsylvania,” my fiancé confessed after a year of living in Tennessee.

For me, this was upsetting news since we’d lived on our own for over a year. But, shit happens, people.

When I met my fiancé, he was living with his folks.

Now, I know what you’re thinking and you’re way wrong. He had just finished his last semester of college, he was graduating in a few months and he was struggling to find a job.

I was in the same boat. I was interning in New York and got paid a mere $7.25 an hour. Talk about a dream, huh?

I know you’re supposed to start from the bottom, but I was at the bottom of the barrel.

My fiancé didn’t treat me differently because we were in a similar situation. And, I never treated him any differently — even when he suggested getting a job as a janitor.

I knew he had to do what he had to do in order to earn money.

I never looked down on him and I never wanted to stop dating him because he wasn’t set in life. It’s not a big deal.

Do you know how many men and women are having trouble establishing careers, so they’re taking in-between jobs. I got it.

Generally, women talk about having an established man, a man whom they know can take care of them. They want a man who is successful and has his shit together.

But, here’s the thing: Just because a man in his 20s still lives at home does not mean he’s immature and not a “real man.”

There are cases – just like my fiancé’s – in which a person has no choice but to live at home. You shouldn’t hold that against him.

Then, when he found a job a few months after we started dating, he was looking forward to working full-time.

I was excited for him because I knew he would be making some serious dough and getting experience at the same time.

The following year, we spoke about moving into an apartment together.

So, we looked at apartments in the summer and planned to move into one by the fall. I was really happy we’d finally be able to live together and get that sense of freedom we’d both been craving.

But, then, he found out that his job was contract work, which meant it was not guaranteed, so there was always a chance he could lose it.

I was absolutely devastated by that news because we picked out an apartment and even put a deposit on it. I had been dreaming of the day when we’d move in together and finally get established.

Now, some women might have left him at that point, but I’m not that shallow and I was in love with him.

I stuck by him because I believed in him. I knew within the next few months to a year, he’d find a better opportunity — and I was right.

Last February, he got an interview with a company in Tennessee and got a job.

I was ecstatic to move to a new state and start over again. I was looking forward to owning something and finally getting that taste of freedom. The move went smoothly, but as time went on, his job did not.

He was insulted, criticized and degraded by his co-worker and boss for his work. I had to sit there and listen to my fiancé come home and talk about it. It hurt me more than you’ll ever know to hear someone say those things about the guy I loved most in this world.

“Why didn’t you do a better job? You screwed up – again? You’re a terrible worker…” OK — maybe I’m being a bit over the top, but it was the gist of what his boss and co-worker said.

I knew in my heart he needed to quit this job. I also knew I’d lose my freedom, apartment and job. I knew he needed me and didn’t need someone complaining about leaving the state she always dreamed of living in.

He needed a cheerleader, someone he could depend on when things like this happened.

At first, I was a mess and didn’t want to, but in the end, I knew I had to put on my big girl pants and be mature about this decision.

Did I ever think about leaving him because, again, he wasn’t established? Nope – not for one second.

You see he’s on unemployment – temporarily – and to you, he may seem like a loser, but to me, he’s not at all.

Sure – I could have gone for an established man, one who had all of his shit together, but all I need is a man who’s supportive, treats me well, will step up when he has to and who listens.

And, you know what? He does all of those things and more.

Via Elite Daily

To My Fiancé: I’m Truly Sorry I Put You In The Friend Zone

“Remember that time you put me in the friend zone,” my fiancé asked. Yes, I do. But, it was for like 5 days and then we went back to being more than friends.

My fiancé will never let this go. In some shape or form, he’ll always bring it up that I put him there and then, that’s when I remind him that he wasn’t there for very long.

At the time, I wasn’t ready for a relationship.

I was interning, had my mind set on a career and was only looking for an occasional hook-up, but nothing serious.  I specifically said on my OkCupid profile that I was only looking for a friend. I never said I wanted a relationship. Instead, it later evolved into something more.

I told him my career goals and he expressed how frustrated he was trying to find a job. We were in the exact same place in life and so, we could relate to one another. It was nice to talk to someone in the same boat, but I wasn’t putting all my eggs in one basket.

Our first date made my heart beat a mile a minute.

It was the second date that made me re-think my heart. Plans didn’t work out and so, I suggested something else, but I wasn’t gung-ho over how he was acting. He just didn’t seem as confident as he was the first time our eyes met. Also, I wasn’t completely over my ex-boyfriend, so when he asked me how I was doing the next day, I paused.

Did I really want to continue our relationship? I was no longer sure about this guy and didn’t want to string him along.

So, I explained to him that I just wasn’t sure about us and said we could still be friends.

Little did I know, that crushed him.

I knew he was a good guy, but I just wasn’t ready for another guy just yet.

My best friend and I spoke on the same night I put him in the friend zone and she told me to give him another chance. She invited me to go to the Eastern State Penitentiary with her then-boyfriend and her and then said to ask the guy if he wanted to come too.

So, I did.

To my surprise, my fiancé not only said yes, but also told me he was going to pay. Now, what guy that was just placed in the friend zone would offer to pay? Come on.

I switched my tune when we hung out that night. I actually started to really like him and told myself to get the f**k over my ex-boyfriend. Besides, this guy was ten-fold to all the other guys I dated.

In the end, I gave him another chance and hey, now we’re engaged so something must have worked out.

Via Puckermob