It was on a Saturday morning when I realized I’d somehow become “the nagging wife.”
“Do you really have to eat that whole bagel?” I asked my husband. “Carbs are the enemy.” He shrugged it off as I proceeded to continuously ask him the same question which lead to him ignoring me. Unfortunately, this sort of situation is a common occurrence.
About a year into dating, I began nagging him about his eating habits. He’s a binge eater and sometimes eats when he’s not hungry, which in my opinion isn’t healthy. Me on the other hand who is overly obsessive about my weight and stomach only eats when I’m hungry, which is the norm. But, still, the person who is self-conscious about her own weight is telling her husband what to do when it comes to eating.
“I’m a much bigger person than you, Hope and need to consume more calories. I can’t eat pea-sized meals like you,” he said. And, you know what? He’s right. It seems I’ve projected my body issues onto him. It seems I’ve become the woman who is pushy and controlling.
In the last year, I’d say I’ve become “that” wife. The type of wife who pouts if he doesn’t give me enough attention, the wife who gets pissed off if he watches football every Sunday for a few hours, the type of woman who tells their husband what he can and cannot eat. Ew. I’ve always told myself I would never ever act like that because it’s appalling.
Every time I start to nag him about this and that, I need to remember that it’s really annoying and not helpful. There are other ways to get my point across and nagging is definitely not the route to go.
On that Saturday, as we drove in the car, all I could think about was hopping out due to embarrassment. I finally listened to myself and sounded really immature. I was always the cool and laid-back girl who let situations roll off her shoulders, so why have I turned into a control freak?
Going forward, when I start to become “that wife,” I need to step back, and just let It go. I am not going to be in control of every situation and monitoring his eating is only hurting our relationship. The more I push, the more he’ll start to distance himself. If it were the other way around, I could not put up with his behavior and would end up giving him an ultimatum if he wasn’t willing to change. Therefore, I get it and now that I’m aware of how I am, I’ll definitely try my best to stop myself.
Have you ever gone through a similar situation? If so, how’d you handle it? Let’s chat : firstname.lastname@example.org