I’m Going To Do Everything I Can To Have An Above Average Marriage

“I want us to say one thing we love about each other on our date nights,” I said to my husband last night.

He scuffed and said, “but, I don’t need to hear that stuff because I already know by the way you look at me.” I couldn’t argue that because my heart jumps whenever I see him working on a project; whenever he’s playing with Ollie; heck, even when he’s making dinner.

These are actions, not words.

I used to think I was meant to be with a sensitive guy, a guy who was a writer, who cried and talked about his emotions all the time. But, I keep forgetting that I actually was with a guy that like and he irked me.

He constantly needed to show his affection, but in reality, I think it was a ploy to get me to sleep with him.

It’s safe to say after 6 months, I was done.

As for my husband and I, our relationship hasn’t been typical and normal, so why should our marriage? I want an above average marriage where we can just look into each other’s eyes and not have to say a word.

I mean, we met online, hung out sparingly due to his job, lived with his parents for a few months, moved to Tennessee, back to PA, then shared an apartment with his folks and now, we’re in Greenville. I’d say that doesn’t sound like an average marriage.

He’s anti-social, but shows that he cares by helping people at the drop of a hat, while I’d rather show I care by checking in to see how people are doing. He’s quiet and keeps to himself while I like hanging out with people. However, I am quiet too, so that’s definitely where we meet in the middle.

We play fight, “insult” each other while on the other end, we kiss, make love, hold hands and go out on date nights. We are best friends, yet lovers. We bicker, argue about petty shit.

It’s usually me who starts it, but I do it because he pisses me off so badly. But, I love him. I love him with all my heart and miss him whenever he’s away.

I wish he’d change and he wishes I would too, but we’re human and we’ve been this way most of our lives, so never fully change. And, if they do, they just end up coming full circle.

I don’t need any books or anything to tell me how I feel about him. His logic level is above average and whenever we get into arguments, he wins most of the time because I have nothing else to say. He articulates himself very well and I’m stuck stumbling on my own words.

He makes me a better person and I make him a better human being.

I don’t need that mushy gushy shit all the time and neither does he. I don’t always need him to tell him how he feels about me because I already know. I can tell by his actions and how he brushes the hair out of my eyes, how he cleans out the corners of my eyes in the morning, how he grabs me, pulls me on top of him and just puts his arms around me tightly.

“You need to have more confidence,” he says while he guzzles a cup of water. “You need to believe that you’re good enough for the position. You need to show them that you’re the right fit.”

He tries to boost my confidence by telling me my strengths as I job search.

He’s supportive, listens and just wants me to build up enough confidence to believe in myself.

No one is perfect. No marriage is perfect.

Everyone has flaws. It’s just about how to accept them. If I want an above average marriage, I need to start accepting his flaws like he accepts mine.

“It’s just not fair that you keep picking on my flaws, but I don’t have any issues with yours,” he says. It’s not fair.

There’s too much bullshit in life to fight about flaws. There’s too much going on in our lives between trying to find jobs, planning for children within the next few years, maintaining a relationship with each other, family, dog and friends.

He was the first one who got this thought into my mind that we should have an above average marriage.

My first thought was whatever – yeah, I can be a bitch sometimes. But, then, I really started thinking about it and now, I want the same thing and I’m going to fight like hell to maintain it because I love this man with all my heart and I know he feels the same.

Via Huffington Post

We Went To Three Cities And A Cruise For Our Honeymoon Part 1

My husband hates flying, so we decided to take a road trip to visit Savannah, GA, Charleston, SC and Raleigh, NC. In-between, we went on a cruise to the (Amber Cove) Dominican Republic, St. Thomas & St. Maarten.

I was more excited about the cruise than anything else.

But, to my surprise, it was actually quite disappointing because we got motion sickness and we weren’t thrilled with the forms of entertainment as well as the food. Ick! After a few days, we were sick of the food.

I yearned to eat real food instead of buffets every day. I mean, it was nice to just get food whenever you wanted, but it was also dangerous because it was mostly processed and I feared gaining weight.

Let’s start with the cruise, which lasted 7 days.

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When we got to our room, we were greeted with the photo below – which was the sweetest thing ever!

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On the 2nd night, we dressed up for FORMAL NIGHT. Since it was our honeymoon, the crew members came over with the cake – shown below – and sang HAPPY HONEYMOON TO YOU.

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We did THREE excursions. The first was riding ATVS.

It was muddy and in the Dominican Republic. I let him drive because I was afraid. We got really muddy, but it was fun. We also drank.. a lot. I’m not used to drinking that much, but I just went with the flow.

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THIS IS KELVIN, THE TOUR GUIDE, MY HUSBAND & I.

Next was snorkeling in St. Thomas.

OMG.

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THE VIEW.

It was absolutely beautiful and snorkeling was so much fun.

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YEAH, YOU AHEAD AND SAY IT – WE LOOK LAMEEEE.

Next was a Sunset Cruise, which disappointed us because people were chatting, drinking and the captain didn’t even go toward the sunset. You would think she would considering it was the Sunset Cruise, right?

WRONG.

We went to a few fitness classes while on the boat, watched a movie, went in the hot-tub, swam, sunbathed and drank.

We decided that we aren’t CRUISE PEOPLE, but we wouldn’t have figured that out if we didn’t go, so it was a good experience.

This is just PART ONE of the #Alwaysn4evan Honeymoon.

Stay tuned for PART TWO.

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I Found Out What Love Really Was When I Met Brett

They say you never forget your first love. You’re always likely to go back to that person and never let them go. And, I believe that wholeheartedly.

When I was in my early teens, all I knew was I wanted a guy who would take care of me and accept me for who I was. I didn’t necessary have a preference on how the guy would look. I just knew I wanted him to make me feel like the most special girl in the world.

I had my first boyfriend at 16, but he didn’t make me feel like the most special girl in the world. I mean, I liked him a lot, but I was only 16 and with him, I had my first kiss. Unfortunately, I planned my first kiss and if I could go back in time, that would be one of the things I’d change. It was in front of my parents house after the junior prom and I said, ‘let’s just do it and get it over with.’ My attitude toward it was rather ugly, but he went with it. And, the kiss wasn’t so bad. That relationship lasted 2 months.

My second relationship wasn’t so bad, but the guy didn’t have his permit. And, at about 18, that was a problem. Regardless, we had a nice time together, until he broke up with me via text 2 weeks later. I was done with guys for a while, or so I thought until I met my third boyfriend when I worked at a grocery store at 19.

He was someone I thought I loved. I felt as if we had a deep connection, but when I think back, it was nothing but a deep friendship. My dad always said he thought I would end up with him because despite breaking up a year and a half into it, we always remained friends. It was very painful to me to stay friends, but he honestly did not like me as much as I liked him. The break-up was mutual, but that still didn’t mean I wasn’t hurt. After we broke-up, I questioned whether I loved him or not and for a while, it hurt to see him going on dates with other girls and see him flirt with other ladies while we were out, which was why I figured I loved him. But, I think it was only ‘puppy love.’

I still was sort of friends with him when I started dated my 4th boyfriend. I would talk to him occasionally, but I was hooked on this particular guy. I would go over to his house, but all he seemed to want to do was fool around, which was not always on my radar. I wanted to go on dates, but he was not about that. So, after 6 months, we broke up.

This leads to me my fiancé. I did not think I’d find love on Okcupid simply because I was so against online dating. I knew he was special, but I didn’t think it would lead to falling in love. Again, I thought I was in love before him. But, every time before him was nothing but infatuation. I wasn’t always able to tell the difference, well until I starting falling for this particular guy. He was sweet, considerate, nice and made me laugh. Not to mention, I was very much attracted to him. It only took 2 months for us to begin falling for each other. On Valentine’s Day, he finally told me he loved me, but I was not able to say the same because I wasn’t ready.

A few weeks later, at the bar with 2 of his other friends, I revealed that I was in fact in love with him. He didn’t believe me because he knew I was drinking, but I meant it. The next day, I said it again, but this time, it was in his room. I didn’t know what love really was until I met Brett, my now-fiancé.

I found out love is about sacrifice, being considerate of the other person’s feelings, opening yourself up to the other, compromise, and more. Love isn’t just about cuddling and being mushy-gushy. There is so much more to it and I needed to learn that. My other boyfriend’s never looked at me the same way Brett does and they were never so willing to take my feelings into consideration before making a decision.

And, when Brett asked me to be his forever, I was nothing but ecstatic that he chose me! It only took 5 boyfriends to find the right guy, but I found him and I couldn’t be happier.

Via PuckerMob

5 Unfortunate Things That Happen When You Have A Baby Face And Look Way Younger Than You Actually Are

I have a baby face and well, it’s not a picnic.

No, I’m not here to complain; rather I’m going to tell you what kind of sort of sucks about having a “baby face.”

1. You’re labeled “cute.”

I cannot even tell you how many times people have called me “cute.” I’m not gorgeous; I’m rather a cutie pie. Ugh. Don’t you hate being “the cute one?” I mean, it gets old. Just saying.

2. People often say “you don’t look older than 19.”

When I was 22, people have asked if I was still in school. Um…no, I’m actually a legal adult. Please check my I.D and you’ll see that I can actually drink in a bar.

3. “Be thankful you look young now because it will work to your advantage when you’re older.”

I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard this line. I know, it truly is great, but what if I actually want to look my age right now? Maybe I’m dumb and unappreciative to think this way, but you’d understand if you had a baby face.

4. Can “baby face” women be models?

I’ve always been interested in modeling, but I’ve often worried if I would make it as such because of my face. I have a nice looking face, but it’s not a typical model face, so I may just have to give up on that fantasy. Sigh.

5. The question that I often find myself wondering is, “will I always have a baby face?”

Do you think my face will get catch up to my age? That sounds like a stupid question, but I would like to know. Hm….

Via Thought Catalog

The Topic of Money

Money has always been an awkward topic I choose not to talk about. The reason could be because I never really had money. I grew up in a middle class family and money was tight at times. We could never just got out and splurge on whatever we chose. I mean, as a kid, I went on plenty of vacations and I know for a fact we weren’t poor, but money was always a sore subject for me.

And, then, during college, since I only had a part-time job, I wasn’t sure to spend too much because well, most of it went toward books and school supplies. I was never able to just randomly go out and get my nails or hair done, spend mounds of dough on clothes or shoes or do anything of that sort. It always had to be saved and went straight into my bank account. I yearned to have a real life where I didn’t have to worry about it, but that didn’t happen.

My first full-time job was a measly amount and still, I wasn’t able to move out, go out or have fun. Sometimes when my friends asked to hang out or go out to eat, I had to make an excuse because I was too embarrassed to admit that I simply couldn’t afford it.

When it came for asking for a higher pay, I always felt quite awkward and avoided the subject at all costs. I never talked about money, yet it was always in the back of my mind sitting and waiting to be brought up. Then, when I obtained another full-time job that was slightly higher, in the end it didn’t matter because I wasn’t able to enjoy myself.

Then, when my boyfriend was presented with a job in Tennessee, I went with him for a few reasons: I hoped to finally find a full-time job worth having, I’ve always wanted to move to Tennessee and I simply wanted to get away and live a new life. So, I went with him and within a week, I landed a full-time job. But, this job simply paid about the same as my first job and so, I complained to my boyfriend about money and he told me to keep looking for something. I felt absolutely frustrated because I seriously needed this money more than ever now that him and I lived in our own.

In terms of the full-time job, things didn’t work out, so I began freelancing and searching for a part-time job. I’ve always wanted to become a freelance writer and so I did. My boyfriend helped out here and there with money, but I truly knew I could not rely on him the rest of my life. It simply wasn’t fair and I knew it.

To my shock, three months after we moved to TN, I finally found a full-time job that I make decent money and I really enjoy. Regardless though, I think I’ll always be worried and paranoid when it comes to money. Since I’ve never really had it, I believe I’ll always feel like I need more and more.

Via Huffington Post

Feeling Lucky For Who I Am

I’ve always wanted to be one of the Kardashians.

I often dreamed of the fame, fortune and beauty until I realized how f***ed up their family is. Sure, they possess family values and are close, but all of them are out of sorts and not to mention, they lost their father at a young age. So, vision of someday “becoming a Kardashian” went away a few years back when I began to think about all the good things I have in life.

At this very moment, I have a wonderful and supportive family and boyfriend. I’m thankful for my friends who have kept in touch despite being so far away from them. Also, I have a gorgeous apartment, great job and loveable dog, so I would say; all in all, I should feel lucky.

When we first moved to another state, 800 + miles away from everything we ever knew, I was absolutely depressed and miserable. I wanted to go through with it, but I didn’t think I’d feel as sad as I did. I just wanted my family around me and hated feeling so far away. But, my boyfriend was there to remind me all the good aspects of my life and how I should appreciate who I am and what I have. After that, I began to really think all the things I did have instead of focus on everything that I didn’t have. I guess I just needed someone to remind me once again that I have a fabulous life. I mean, my life isn’t perfect by any means, but for the time being, I’m just going to be Hope Kumor.

I do wish some of my characteristics were a bit different like not being so damn quiet, shy and has a grasp as to confront someone and wasn’t so darn self-conscious. Overtime, these are things I can work on not being, so it will take serious time, effort dedication not to be these things because I’ve been this way for my whole life. If I just work on one trait at a time, maybe I’ll finally be the person I’ve always thrived to be!

Via Huffington Post

Let’s Talk About Sex, And Not Feel Weird And Uncomfortable

By Hope Kumor

Via Thought Catalog

Let’s talk about a topic that makes everyone feel uncomfortable: Sex.

Why is sex such a sore subject? Come on, most of us do it and know it feels good. For the longest time, I refused to talk about it because I was immature. I just heard my besties recite the same words over and over again that it would hurt like hell. My one friend even said she could barely walk for a few days afterward. After hearing that, I was really afraid of it. I had no clue how it would feel and everyone told me different things about it. Regardless, no one likes to talk about it.

According to PsychAlive, Why We Should Talk About Sex , when it comes to sex, most people tend to feel there are a lot of “supposed to’s,” as if they are supposed to perform this way or feel that way in a sexual encounter. Many people can also be critical of their appearance, viewing themselves as too old/fat/unattractive/uncomfortable for sex.

Maybe people just don’t feel confident enough with their appearance, so by talking about it, they feel judged?

I know when I reached my teens, my mother never sat me down and had “the conversation” with me. Instead, she pointed her finger at me and repeated over and over, “just wait until marriage.” And, since I never questioned anything, I listened to her. I never even learned anything about sex either.

Whenever people talked about orgasms or penises, I never said a peep because I had no clue how to contribute to the conversation. Instead of partaking in sex, I just focused on my career and studies and besides, I was waiting for marriage. Many people commended me on waiting, but others just gave me a dirty look and asked why.

I’ve heard so many different things when it comes to sex. From “your first time sucks,” “wait until you’re married” “it hurts so bad” to “just don’t do it.” But, I didn’t wait because I knew it felt right. So, when I finally did do it, it turned out to be uncomfortable and felt very painful.

Whether you wait until you’re married or have sex on a weekly basis, just be careful. Everyone handles things in various ways. But, let’s just stop feeling so awkward about sex because whether you like it or not: MOST PEOPLE DO IT!

Corey Stevens: The True Inspiration

I walked into Starbucks to meet a 24-year-old battling cancer for the 8th time. With a smile on his face, he said, “Hey!” His mentality remained upbeat, which made me completely envious. He has a positive outlook despite his illness.

At 13, everyone thought the lump in Corey Stevens’ arm was a fracture. No one knew it was really a tumor growing inside of him. He knew nothing about cancer, so he had no reaction when he found out.

“I didn’t know what cancer was, so I was just kind of there playing my Gameboy,” says Corey. “I’m glad I had that ignorance just because it helped with going through chemo.”

Corey is battling a type of bone cancer called osteosarcoma for the 8th time! Just picture going through chemo hoping and praying your cancer won’t return. Then, a few months later, it’s back again. It’s a vicious cycle that is on Corey’s mind daily, but that doesn’t stop him from living his life.

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Regardless of his illness, he is just your average 24-year-old. He loves to workout, photography, working on his 1990 Celica GT and a 1990 240sx and works at Papa John’s Pizza as a driver.

“On a daily basis, I like to work out, free-write and read some motivational speeches,” says Corey.

His two main goals in life are to become a motivational speaker and travel the world. With some persistence and dedication, I know Corey can and will reach those goals.

When it comes to alcohol, he’s not really a fan of drinking though because he’s more of an outdoorsy guy and likes to go to the park, hike and take plenty of photos.

“I find [taking pictures] fun,” says Corey. “I think I got that from my mom because she loved taking pictures. I take pictures of just whatever comes to mind.”

He says of his friends, “For the most part, my friends treat me like everybody else, which is the way I want to be treated,” says Corey.

Corey’s mentality is all about making people laugh. And, if you’re around him long enough, you’ll instantly be in a better mood because his personality shines and he truly lights up a room with his 100-watt smile. Another aspect of Corey is he doesn’t care about others think about him.

“I’ll laugh at myself,” says Corey. “And, you won’t ever see those people again.”

Throughout our 50-minute conversation, not once did he show pity for himself. If he does feel sad, he often calls a friend, who will cheer him up in an instant. But, something tells me that rarely occurs because of his positive demeanor.

“I just keep on fighting and keep on going,” says Corey. “There’s a reason why I’m still here.”

I could be a bit bias, but I’d have to say that this kid is pretty spectacular. To battle cancer 8 times, work and live life to the fullest and not complain is just so inspirational.

In May, Corey will fly to Maryland to receive gene therapy. This test will hopefully get rid of his cancer for good! He’s scared, but hopes that it will work in his favor.

“I may not get cancer after this again—if it works, so finger crossed!” says Corey enthusiastically.