I’m Going To Do Everything I Can To Have An Above Average Marriage

“I want us to say one thing we love about each other on our date nights,” I said to my husband last night.

He scuffed and said, “but, I don’t need to hear that stuff because I already know by the way you look at me.” I couldn’t argue that because my heart jumps whenever I see him working on a project; whenever he’s playing with Ollie; heck, even when he’s making dinner.

These are actions, not words.

I used to think I was meant to be with a sensitive guy, a guy who was a writer, who cried and talked about his emotions all the time. But, I keep forgetting that I actually was with a guy that like and he irked me.

He constantly needed to show his affection, but in reality, I think it was a ploy to get me to sleep with him.

It’s safe to say after 6 months, I was done.

As for my husband and I, our relationship hasn’t been typical and normal, so why should our marriage? I want an above average marriage where we can just look into each other’s eyes and not have to say a word.

I mean, we met online, hung out sparingly due to his job, lived with his parents for a few months, moved to Tennessee, back to PA, then shared an apartment with his folks and now, we’re in Greenville. I’d say that doesn’t sound like an average marriage.

He’s anti-social, but shows that he cares by helping people at the drop of a hat, while I’d rather show I care by checking in to see how people are doing. He’s quiet and keeps to himself while I like hanging out with people. However, I am quiet too, so that’s definitely where we meet in the middle.

We play fight, “insult” each other while on the other end, we kiss, make love, hold hands and go out on date nights. We are best friends, yet lovers. We bicker, argue about petty shit.

It’s usually me who starts it, but I do it because he pisses me off so badly. But, I love him. I love him with all my heart and miss him whenever he’s away.

I wish he’d change and he wishes I would too, but we’re human and we’ve been this way most of our lives, so never fully change. And, if they do, they just end up coming full circle.

I don’t need any books or anything to tell me how I feel about him. His logic level is above average and whenever we get into arguments, he wins most of the time because I have nothing else to say. He articulates himself very well and I’m stuck stumbling on my own words.

He makes me a better person and I make him a better human being.

I don’t need that mushy gushy shit all the time and neither does he. I don’t always need him to tell him how he feels about me because I already know. I can tell by his actions and how he brushes the hair out of my eyes, how he cleans out the corners of my eyes in the morning, how he grabs me, pulls me on top of him and just puts his arms around me tightly.

“You need to have more confidence,” he says while he guzzles a cup of water. “You need to believe that you’re good enough for the position. You need to show them that you’re the right fit.”

He tries to boost my confidence by telling me my strengths as I job search.

He’s supportive, listens and just wants me to build up enough confidence to believe in myself.

No one is perfect. No marriage is perfect.

Everyone has flaws. It’s just about how to accept them. If I want an above average marriage, I need to start accepting his flaws like he accepts mine.

“It’s just not fair that you keep picking on my flaws, but I don’t have any issues with yours,” he says. It’s not fair.

There’s too much bullshit in life to fight about flaws. There’s too much going on in our lives between trying to find jobs, planning for children within the next few years, maintaining a relationship with each other, family, dog and friends.

He was the first one who got this thought into my mind that we should have an above average marriage.

My first thought was whatever – yeah, I can be a bitch sometimes. But, then, I really started thinking about it and now, I want the same thing and I’m going to fight like hell to maintain it because I love this man with all my heart and I know he feels the same.

Via Huffington Post

10 Ways to Say ‘I Do’ Without Going Bankrupt

When my then-boyfriend asked for my hand in marriage November 2015, we were both full-time employees living in Tennessee.

Not only were we living on our own, we now had to pay for a wedding. So, before we began planning, we sat down and set a budget of $15,000. Knowing the average was about $35,329, according to Fortune.com, we planned to spend half of that!

But, then, four months later, life got turned upside down when we had to move back home.

My then-fiancé lost his job and I had to find another job because I knew working remotely would be a bit too difficult.

His parents and my parents told us they’d pitch in, but in reality, we wanted to do this on our own.  Regardless, we appreciated everything they gave us.

We also knew realistically we were unable to do so because of our job situations.

We budgeted and did the best we could to save money and not overspend. We created a budget sheet on excel to track our spending.

I wanted a beautiful wedding, but I also didn’t anticipate having to pay — for instance — the caterer a whopping $3,000 for their services. If you don’t know already, weddings are expensive. However, they do not have to be – if you budget for them or go for a cheaper route.

My husband wanted to elope, but I refused because I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle, dance with me and have the DJ play a song my husband and I could dance to.

So, if you’re smart about it, your wedding can cost less than a mortgage. In the end, ours was around $15,000 and now, the average cost of a wedding is 35,329! So, we spent less than 53% of the average wedding!

Here are some tips on how to dish out less dough:

  • Make DIY your BFF. Instead of buying the décor, make it from scratch. My husband and I scoped Pinterest and found loads of décor for weddings!
  • Don’t invite Aunt what’s her face. Here’s my rule of thumb, if you haven’t talked in the last two years, heck within the last year, these people do not deserve to be invited.
  • Send out Save the dates via email. I was told by a friend who got married that people throw away save the dates. So, if you are going to, send it via email.
  • Choose an inexpensive venue. My husband and I chose a $4,000 venue. I’m sure there are way cheaper venues, but we wanted a rustic wedding, so we chose an old manor. Just do your research!
  • Make your own bouquets. Flowers are expensive. However, they don’t have to be if you don’t get them. So, be sure to opt for something besides flowers.
  • Plan the wedding and reception at one location. Don’t make your guests flock to two different locations. It’s also way easier on the bridal party who doesn’t have to spend time in a car riding to the other location.
  • Your dress doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. I set a budget for my dress to be $400-$500. Trust me; it is possible to find a beautiful dress for that amount.
  • Opt for less expensive food dishes. You don’t need caviar and shrimp. Go for something simpler and less likely to break your bank.
  • Choose cupcakes instead of cake. Our cake was around $300 and that was the cheapest we found. However, I’m sure cupcakes are just as delicious and less costly.
  • You don’t need too much food. You don’t need fondue, dessert bar, smores bar and an open bar. Just one dessert option will suffice.
 Via Puckermob

We Went To Three Cities And A Cruise For Our Honeymoon Part 1

My husband hates flying, so we decided to take a road trip to visit Savannah, GA, Charleston, SC and Raleigh, NC. In-between, we went on a cruise to the (Amber Cove) Dominican Republic, St. Thomas & St. Maarten.

I was more excited about the cruise than anything else.

But, to my surprise, it was actually quite disappointing because we got motion sickness and we weren’t thrilled with the forms of entertainment as well as the food. Ick! After a few days, we were sick of the food.

I yearned to eat real food instead of buffets every day. I mean, it was nice to just get food whenever you wanted, but it was also dangerous because it was mostly processed and I feared gaining weight.

Let’s start with the cruise, which lasted 7 days.

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When we got to our room, we were greeted with the photo below – which was the sweetest thing ever!

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On the 2nd night, we dressed up for FORMAL NIGHT. Since it was our honeymoon, the crew members came over with the cake – shown below – and sang HAPPY HONEYMOON TO YOU.

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We did THREE excursions. The first was riding ATVS.

It was muddy and in the Dominican Republic. I let him drive because I was afraid. We got really muddy, but it was fun. We also drank.. a lot. I’m not used to drinking that much, but I just went with the flow.

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THIS IS KELVIN, THE TOUR GUIDE, MY HUSBAND & I.

Next was snorkeling in St. Thomas.

OMG.

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THE VIEW.

It was absolutely beautiful and snorkeling was so much fun.

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YEAH, YOU AHEAD AND SAY IT – WE LOOK LAMEEEE.

Next was a Sunset Cruise, which disappointed us because people were chatting, drinking and the captain didn’t even go toward the sunset. You would think she would considering it was the Sunset Cruise, right?

WRONG.

We went to a few fitness classes while on the boat, watched a movie, went in the hot-tub, swam, sunbathed and drank.

We decided that we aren’t CRUISE PEOPLE, but we wouldn’t have figured that out if we didn’t go, so it was a good experience.

This is just PART ONE of the #Alwaysn4evan Honeymoon.

Stay tuned for PART TWO.

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I’m Engaged To A Silly Guy And I Wouldn’t Have It Any Other Way

I wouldn’t change my fiancé’s odd and strange habits for the world.

He’s a bit off his rocker at times when he makes strange noises and licks my face, but hey, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Most of us have a little kid inside just waiting to emerge when we’re comfortable with our significant other.

In the beginning, he’s wasn’t as strange as he is now. Or, maybe he was and just didn’t show it because he feared it would scare me off.

Regardless, I know he’ll make a great father because he can be silly and goofy at times. I wouldn’t want to date a dry and serious guy because then life would be boring. And, heck if I was just one dimension all the time, I wouldn’t even want to date myself.

Therefore, when he’s silly, I often give him these looks and he starts giggling. I would say I broke my fiancé’s shell because for the longest time, he told me he didn’t smile or laugh.

I remember in the very beginning of our relationship he said, “oh, you’re going to show me how to finally have fun, huh?” My first thought was, “this guy never has a good chuckle?” I felt bad for him, so I invited him into my world. And, no, don’t say I feel sorry for him because if I did, we wouldn’t be getting married. He’s completely different now that I brought out his fun-side.

Unless he felt really comfortable with you, he’d never do his animated “voices” because you’d probably think he’s odd right off the bat, so he chooses to do so with me.

He also does this licking noise with his tongue. And, he’s not ashamed to fart in front of me either.

So, dating a weirdo is much better than seeing a guy who never laughs or makes funny noises.

Life is about having fun, so why not be silly once in a while?

Via PuckerMob

What is Marriage All About?

In November of this year, I’m getting married. I’ll be 27-years old and I’ll be a married woman.

Did I think I’d get married sooner? Yes- I figured I’d be 25 and have at least one child. But, obviously, no one can predict the future.

No one could have told me I would actually meet my future husband at 24. And, no one could have told me I’d meet him on the internet. Or, no one could have told me in a matter of 5 days, I would place him in the ‘friend zone’ and proceed to take him back out.

Marriage is all about sacrifice. It’s not only about what’s best for you, but it’s also about what’s best for the other person.

It’s no longer about you and solely you. You and your significant other are a team and you can’t be selfish. At times, it’s hard not to be, but if you truly love that person like you say you do, you’ll sacrifice for them.

You can’t resent that person because if the roles were reversed, they would do the same thing for you.

There might come a time where you’re not a fan of a given situation, but you must be supportive, loving and ready to embrace what life has to offer.

If it’s good for the other person’s career, then you mustn’t be selfish because the same thing could happen years later with you.

You must always be prepared for life’s biggest challenges as much as you can be. I mean, you won’t always be on guard, but you must be willing to think about what’s the best opinion for the two of you.

Sometimes life can change in the blink of an eye and you’re heading down one path and then, life throws a curve ball. So, you’re left with thinking, what the heck do I do? Just stay calm because freaking out will do no one any good.

Not to mention, you might stress the other person out. I would write a list of your options and choose wisely.

Be sure not to make a rash decision. You may never fully know what the right decision will be, but there are always signed pointing to a potential direction to head.

And, just remember this.. everything will be okay! Again, the two of you are in this together and you must always have each other’s backs.

If not, the marriage could be a bit rocky. Just remember to always be open to new and exciting opportunities and most of all.. communicate!

Via Puckermob

30 Seconds Later, It Was A Yes!

My fiancé said when he asked for my hand in marriage that we wait until we visited our family, so we can tell them face-to-face. At first, I felt as if it was too big of a secret to keep, but I agreed. We went to Gatlinburg for Halloween and I thought maybe he’d ask me then, but the trip came and went without a word. My next guess was in Florida for our 2-year-anniversary. I mean, I should have figured it out since at first, we were going to Gatlinburg for our 2-year, but then he changed it to Florida because it was “more romantic.”

For the next month, I secretly prepared myself hoping he would ask then, but not wanting to think too much into it. There were several occasions when I’d joke about marriage and he told me he didn’t have a ring. I did believe him because there was one time when I went into his drawer to get something and while I was in there, I quickly peeked to see if it was in there. But, unfortunately, I found nothing.

I’d spend some of my time watching proposals wondering what my initial reaction would be. Most girls cried, hugged and kissed their guy, but I wasn’t an emotional person, so I figured I wouldn’t shed any tears.

When the weekend came, I hoped for the best. On the day of our 2-year-anniversary, he had a sailboat tour scheduled for about 3:00. Earlier in the day, we went mini-golfing and there was no one there. I joked with him and asked if he rented it out for us. I figured he might do it there? I wasn’t certain of anything. Actually, the night before, we went to the beach and he was acting strange, so I had a hunch he might do it there, but nope!

We headed to the boat area on time, but he was acting a bit odd because he kept giving me more complaints than usual. I was confused because he did tell me there would be about 6 other people in this boat and I said to myself, “he’d propose in front of all those people?” Hm… I had always told him that I wanted the proposal on video along with lots of photos.

Then, when no one accompanied us, he told me maybe no one scheduled a boat tour at that time. I didn’t think too much into it. While on the boat, our captain– who seemed like a nice and laid back guy– allowed me to do some of the steering work, which was cool. I was a bit quiet because right before that, I began feeling sick and I was trying to shake it off. He talked to the captain for a bit and then shifted his attention to me as the sun was setting. Again, I didn’t think anything of it when he asked the captain to “take a picture.” My fiancé surprised me when he said, “this has been the best two years of my life and I couldn’t ask for anything more. Will you be mine forever?”

My reaction? I began cursing profusely and shaking my head in utter shock. I didn’t cry, I was just in shock.  I didn’t say yes for at least 30 seconds and he began getting nervous. Oh, this was all taken on video too! So, eventually, I got myself together and shook my head ‘yes’. He pulled me in and kissed me. But, I was too shocked to do anything except for putting my hand over my mouth.

That night, we went to an exquisite restaurant, walked around St. Augustine and then went back to the hotel to relax.  The only people who could know were in the people at my job.  He told his good friend, but that was only because he wanted to hang out on the night we planned to break the news and have dinner with our parents. You’ll never know how hard it was to keep it a secret, but we pulled it off.

Via PuckerMob