If He Isn’t Faithful, He’s Not For You

From what I’ve learned, there is no such thing as the “perfect guy.” No matter what, the man you marry or date will always have flaws. Once you accept his flaws, your relationship will soar.

However, cheating is not considered a flaw.

When he’s unfaithful to you, that should be the end of your relationship. Why would you want to be with a guy who isn’t committed to only you? Are your standards that low? Do you believe you cannot get anyone else besides him?

The situation might be a bit more delicate when you add kids into the mix.

But, no matter what, know your worth. Ask yourself if a man that is willing to destroy your family is setting a good example for your children. And, even if you don’t have children, you need to make him suffer the consequences. He needs to pay for the hurt and agony he’s caused you.

He’s not the man for you.

You need to kick that man to the curb faster than he can gather his belongings.

You are a better person than that and you need to realize it right here and now.

It’s not your fault, so don’t go blaming yourself. If he wasn’t willing to commit to your relationship the rest of your life than he’s just not worth your time and energy.

At first, you’ll be in shock, which is normal.

However, I’d encourage you to re-evaluate who you are and decide what you’re going to do. So, please cut him out of your life.

I mean, firstly, give him a chance to explain, but I wouldn’t give him another shot. Unless he has a good reason, maybe I’d think about it. But, I cannot even fathom a good enough reason to cheat.

So, just listen to what your heart is telling you.

Via Puckermob

I Promise, Good Guys Still Exist

“I’m just not sure that there are good guys out there anymore,” my best friend said to me. “I’m actually pretty frustrated.”

I assured her that there are still good guys out there. She merely hasn’t met the right guy as of yet. But, one day, she’ll meet him.

She vouched to be single for a whole year and so, I think it was the universe telling her that she needs to abide by her rule. However, I told her not to give up on guys because there are still gentleman out there, but maybe she and other women either need to look a tad closer, lower their expectations or just wait for him to come.

And, so, the guys who are primarily put in the “friend zone” are the ones who get looked past. They’re the ones who will always be there for you, support you no matter what, be your shoulder to lean on and most of all, always listen.

I promise, guys like that still exist.

Maybe you won’t say it at first glance, but I can assure you I have a good husband. His demeanor may tell you otherwise, but if he wasn’t a good guy, I wouldn’t have married him.

He was usually the man women looked past.

He was catfished and even was the guy who girls just went to for an ear. However, to women, he was never boyfriend material.

There are plenty of guys out there like that.

I won’t debate that it’s hard to find a genuine guy. Most guys just want to sleep with you, but then, there are others who just love being in your company. They want companionship.

Most men are immature.

But, that doesn’t mean you should give up on men, but I didn’t say “all.”

“Don’t give up,” I told my best friend. “You’ll find that guy one day.”

For some women, it might take a little longer to settle down, but it will happen. I’m proof of that. And, I’m here to tell you to keep dating. Also, it occurs when you least expect it. So, do not plan to magically meet a guy.

Don’t over think it. Don’t yearn for a relationship. Just let it happen.

Via Puckermob

Dear Men, Is It So Hard To Be A Good Significant Other?

Dear Men:

Is it so hard to be a good significant other? A good boyfriend entails listening to us when we’re venting about a bad day, being our shoulder to lean on when we’re upset, showing support, making us happy, and cuddling.

A good boyfriend entails listening to us when we’re venting about a bad day, being our shoulder to lean on when we’re upset, showing support, making us happy, and cuddling.

Now, when it comes to participating in activities you don’t want to take part in, I feel neutral. Like, if it’s a holiday and you don’t want to hang with our family, please just make the best of it.

We know you don’t always want to come with us, but to make us and our families happy, can you just pretend you want to be there? Geez. Please try to stay off your phone and actually converse with other people.

It’s not hard to be a decent boyfriend.

Here’s another question: why do you treat us like scum sometimes?

You get on our case just as much as we get on yours. You’re picky and needy at times, so does that mean we should treat you like s***?

Why not try some of these ideas?

Occasionally write us notes.

Maybe buy us flowers once in a blue moon?

Surprise us with lunch at our office.

Don’t ever stop kissing, hugging and cuddling with us. We need affection, but please don’t be over the top and grabby.

We’re not as complicated as you think. We just want to be loved, accepted and complimented about our appearance. So, please let us know when we look pretty.

Don’t ever stop giving us “the look.”

Please give us your coat when we’re freezing. Or, at least, attempt to keep us warm.

Offer to pay for the meal. And, we’ll get the next tab.

Always be kind and generous.

Kiss us goodnight. Kiss us goodbye.

Always say, “I love you.”

Best of all, just love us the way we are.

Via Puckermob

Don’t Forget To Appreciate Your Significant Other

He’s in the kitchen making dinner as I sit down and relax after a long day at work.

I look at him as he’s flipping the turkey burgers and making sure our sweet potato fries don’t burn. He’s attentively looking at the burgers to see if they’re done.

As he pulls the fries out of the oven, I get up to put a sweatshirt on because I know dinner is almost ready and I’m cold.

While in our room, I peer out the door and see him standing in the kitchen plating our dinner.

This brings me back to the time I watched him flip strawberry pancakes at my house after he slept over for the first time. He made them for my mom and I and we both thought they were delicious!

I’m brought back to reality when I see him smile at me and hold up the burgers for us to devour.

I smile back and then face the closest mirror we have examining myself.

Tears begin to roll down my face because I forget to appreciate the small things he does for me. He makes dinner every night because he knows I’m too tired.

He’s trying to start his own business, but it’s taking longer than he thought.

He looks for reassurance from me and asks my opinion on his logo, how his business plan looks and whether or not he should tint his windows so no one can see his tools.

I forget to appreciate him when he runs errands for me. I forget to appreciate him when he wants to hug or kiss me. I forget to appreciate him when he wakes up at 7:00 a.m. just to make me breakfast.

In general, sometimes, we forget to appreciate our significant others because we’re so busy with life. We don’t take time to really look at what’s in front of us. We’re so bogged down about money, getting ahead, etc, that we neglect our significant other. I am a culprit of that.

And, when my husband tries to nestle his head next to mine, I often push him away because I am not affectionate. But, I need to remember that this is just one of the ways he’s showing me how much he loves me.

My husband could be lying around and not doing anything while I make money, but he’s not lazy. I need to appreciate that at the end of the day one of the most important things to him is making me happy.

“I can never do anything right, can I, Hope?” he asks. My heart stops because I know I’ve been acting like a stuck up snob. And, I know I can do better than that.

At the end of the day, I just need to remember to appreciate him and you must stop and do the same.

Via Puckermob

15 Things On What Being In Love Means

Love is more than getting a dog and watching Netflix together.

  • While spending time is important, you must also spend time apart so you have a chance to miss your partner.
  • Love means sacrificing what you want to do for what they want to do.
  • Love means buying a gift for them when you see something at the store that reminds you of them.
  • Love means accepting their flaws.
  • Love means supporting them through thick and thin.
  • Love means waiting for their phone call to let you know they got there when they’re out of town.
  • Love means popping their pimples when they ask you to – even if you think it’s gross.
  • Love means waking up before they do and making breakfast.
  • Love means saving the last yogurt for them because you know they love that flavor.
  • Love means giving them a deep tissue massage even if you’re exhausted.
  • Love means communicating, compromising and coming to an agreement for the harder decisions in life.
  • Love means letting her lay on your chest even if you’re physically and mentally drained.
  • Love means planning the wedding she wants instead of what you desire.
  • Love means earning enough funds so you two can move far away because she’s always liked to live in the south.
  • Love means constantly reminding them how much they mean to you, how much you care for them.

There’s more to love than kisses, hugs and sex. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies. It can be hard work, but if you really love each other, it should be a breeze!

10 Ways to Say ‘I Do’ Without Going Bankrupt

When my then-boyfriend asked for my hand in marriage November 2015, we were both full-time employees living in Tennessee.

Not only were we living on our own, we now had to pay for a wedding. So, before we began planning, we sat down and set a budget of $15,000. Knowing the average was about $35,329, according to Fortune.com, we planned to spend half of that!

But, then, four months later, life got turned upside down when we had to move back home.

My then-fiancé lost his job and I had to find another job because I knew working remotely would be a bit too difficult.

His parents and my parents told us they’d pitch in, but in reality, we wanted to do this on our own.  Regardless, we appreciated everything they gave us.

We also knew realistically we were unable to do so because of our job situations.

We budgeted and did the best we could to save money and not overspend. We created a budget sheet on excel to track our spending.

I wanted a beautiful wedding, but I also didn’t anticipate having to pay — for instance — the caterer a whopping $3,000 for their services. If you don’t know already, weddings are expensive. However, they do not have to be – if you budget for them or go for a cheaper route.

My husband wanted to elope, but I refused because I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle, dance with me and have the DJ play a song my husband and I could dance to.

So, if you’re smart about it, your wedding can cost less than a mortgage. In the end, ours was around $15,000 and now, the average cost of a wedding is 35,329! So, we spent less than 53% of the average wedding!

Here are some tips on how to dish out less dough:

  • Make DIY your BFF. Instead of buying the décor, make it from scratch. My husband and I scoped Pinterest and found loads of décor for weddings!
  • Don’t invite Aunt what’s her face. Here’s my rule of thumb, if you haven’t talked in the last two years, heck within the last year, these people do not deserve to be invited.
  • Send out Save the dates via email. I was told by a friend who got married that people throw away save the dates. So, if you are going to, send it via email.
  • Choose an inexpensive venue. My husband and I chose a $4,000 venue. I’m sure there are way cheaper venues, but we wanted a rustic wedding, so we chose an old manor. Just do your research!
  • Make your own bouquets. Flowers are expensive. However, they don’t have to be if you don’t get them. So, be sure to opt for something besides flowers.
  • Plan the wedding and reception at one location. Don’t make your guests flock to two different locations. It’s also way easier on the bridal party who doesn’t have to spend time in a car riding to the other location.
  • Your dress doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. I set a budget for my dress to be $400-$500. Trust me; it is possible to find a beautiful dress for that amount.
  • Opt for less expensive food dishes. You don’t need caviar and shrimp. Go for something simpler and less likely to break your bank.
  • Choose cupcakes instead of cake. Our cake was around $300 and that was the cheapest we found. However, I’m sure cupcakes are just as delicious and less costly.
  • You don’t need too much food. You don’t need fondue, dessert bar, smores bar and an open bar. Just one dessert option will suffice.
 Via Puckermob

You Can Never Be Prepared For A Loved One To Pass Away

I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk into a nursing home for a while.

It’s just too painful for me and evokes too many memories. I don’t like to think of memories because then I’ll get sad and the waterworks will start. I’m afraid that once I start crying, I won’t be able to stop.

My grandmother passed away on March 10th.

My first thought was I  feel bad for dad because he just lost his mom. On the day of the funeral, I watched him sit there with a stone cold look on his face while he stared at my grandmother’s body. I knew he was weeping on the inside, but he just didn’t want to display his emotions.

I’ve only seen my father cry once in my life and that was when my cousin Eddie passed away. I was sure this would be the second time, but he didn’t show us. He hid it until no one was looking.

After all of us said our goodbyes, the minister shut the door with my mother and father in the room. I remember watching my father’s face and feeling horrible. My mother was always there for us when my dad wasn’t, she always supported us, my dad would tell me.

I wish I was better at comforting people because I would have hugged my dad really tight and told him everything was going to be alright.

Instead, I stood there for a second before getting into the car to head to the church. I couldn’t move, though, so I just stared at the door he just closed.

In reality, the sight of anyone crying would have set me off because I was going through an emotional rollercoaster between moving and my grandma passing away.

Growing up, I was never really close with my grandma.

It’s not to say I wasn’t sad when she passed, but my brothers and I never saw her that often. She babysat us a few times and came to all of our parties as well as a few of my recitals, but I don’t have specific memories of her.

I know my cousins were closer to her and they might have been feeling the loss a little greater than my brothers and me.

But, in general, you can never really be prepared for a loved one to die. How can you really prepare your mind for that? It’s hard to let go of someone you love and someone who has supported you through thick and thin. But, you need to let them go, though. You need to focus on the positive – like they’re no longer suffering. That’s what I try to tell my dad time and time again, but I know there’s nothing I can say or do to make him feel better.

In the end, I know he’ll be okay and that’s all that matters.

Via Puckermob

Here’s Hoping I Can Keep My Emotions Together

I’m in Greenville and I’m at Walmart picking out the curtains and garbage bags for our new apartment. I’m in my own world as I take a look around the store.

My dad calls me, but doesn’t leave a message while I’m chatting away with my husband about shower curtains.

I know that if my dad called me, the conversation wasn’t going to be a good one, especially since he doesn’t leave a message.

I nervously dial his number and wait for him to answer.

When he doesn’t, I breathe a sigh of relief because maybe just maybe he accidently dialed my number. I think, maybe it was a butt dial.

Then, a minute later, my phone rings.

He clears his throat before telling me my grandma has stopped eating. “She didn’t eat this morning or this afternoon. I’m thinking maybe tonight or tomorrow.”

My husband and I were set to move to Greenville on March 13th. We’d arranged the truck rental, our belongings and we were ready to leave PA. But, when I got that call, it changed everything.

“Okay, well, I’m going to have to stay and Brett has to go with his parents,” I said.

It was the only option.

When I got off the phone, I felt sad for my dad. His mom is dying and he must be devastated. Sure, it was bound to happen, but I figured it would be at least another year down the road. And, what great timing it was to occur.

The next day, my mom sent a text around 2 saying that grandma passed.

I felt pretty down that day for some reason. I was in North Carolina waiting for my husband to take a break from class and eat lunch with me.

I laid down across my front and passenger seats telling myself not to get upset, don’t let my emotions get the best of me. I kept repeating the same thing over and over to myself. I haven’t thought much about my emotions because I fear I won’t be able to control myself.

The plan was his parents had to bring the enterprise truck back in PA – near my parents house – so I drove back with them to attend the funeral. So, his folks generously drove down with us, helped us arrange everything and left two days later to continue their lives.

Gosh, I’m trying to be strong and not lose it. I just hope I have the strength to keep it together because I feel my throat tightening.

Making A Change In Your Life Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

I’m sitting in the clubhouse at my new apartment in Greenville.

Instead of thinking about the emotional stress I’m about to endure when we officially move, I’m focusing on finding a job, my new life with my husband, hanging out with our friends who live here and making memories.

If I were to think about how I won’t see my family or friends for a long time, it would do nothing but make me sad.

Here’s my advice to you: don’t fear change.

Change is hard, but instead of dwelling on the negatives, you should think about why you made the decision in the first place or why the decision was presented in front of your face. You must think to yourself, maybe this meant to be.

My husband and I came to Greenville last April for an engagement shoot one of my friends offered to do for us. We loved the area, but didn’t think much into it. We were going through a hard time at that point because he was about to lose my job and we had to move back home.

I know that I had a very difficult time grasping the fact that we needed to move back home until our wedding. But, then, we re-visited the option of Greenville in January again.

After discussing it and him getting an interview in Asheville to become a home inspector, we finally decided to take the leap and move here. We wanted to meet in the middle for a place to live and Greenville was it!

Now, we took a chance because he’s still going for his certificate and I do not have a job here – yet.

But, something told me it was okay. Something told me that I had to take this risk because well, I think it’s meant to be. I know I’ll find something eventually. Not to mention, it’s a great opportunity for him and whenever he talks about it, he lights up.

Nothing matters to me more than when my husband is happy. If he’s happy, I’m happy. And, that’s part of marriage. You need to make changes to benefit your partner. You need to sacrifice in order to help your partner out.

So, here we are, in Greenville.

Via Puckermob

10 Things Never To Say To Someone Whose Been Dumped

“My boyfriend broke up with me – on Valentine’s Day,” my co-worker divulged to me.

My response was what a dick. When she explained how he just wasn’t ready for a relationship, my next instinct was to say something like, “he probably wasn’t the guy for you.” But, I didn’t because I remember when I got dumped. There are some things you just don’t say to someone whose been dumped.

  • There are plenty more fish in the sea. This is a phrase you do not want to hear this because well, it doesn’t make the break-up any better. While there are plenty more men out there, there are some things you keep to yourself.
  • It will get better. Eventually, the pain will subside, but again, if you just got dumped, hearing this will not make the situation better.
  • Give it time. Ugh, or maybe he’ll come around, right? Sorry, but if you’ve been broken up with, it was for a reason. Please stop talking, okay?
  • You deserve better. Okay, this isn’t always true. There are some cases where maybe he thought he was ready, but he really weren’t. If he was respectful and told you the truth, this phrase doesn’t need to be said.
  • Guys suck! Well, not all guys suck. While some guys are assholes, this does not pertain to all guys, so please retract this statement.
  • Join tinder! If you’re looking for a booty call – after you’ve been dumped – sure, try Tinder. But, this isn’t the best advice to take considering you probably don’t want to date for a long, long time.
  • He’ll regret it. Maybe, or maybe not? You’ll never know, but just try to focus on other activities instead.
  • It wasn’t meant to be. For goodness sake, you don’t know that, so why say it? Maybe he just wasn’t ready.
  • Hang in there! Yeah, I’ll be sure to note that on my calendar.
  • I never liked him anyway. Really? Did you really know him enough to make that assumption? Ugh, please stop.