Making A Change In Your Life Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

I’m sitting in the clubhouse at my new apartment in Greenville.

Instead of thinking about the emotional stress I’m about to endure when we officially move, I’m focusing on finding a job, my new life with my husband, hanging out with our friends who live here and making memories.

If I were to think about how I won’t see my family or friends for a long time, it would do nothing but make me sad.

Here’s my advice to you: don’t fear change.

Change is hard, but instead of dwelling on the negatives, you should think about why you made the decision in the first place or why the decision was presented in front of your face. You must think to yourself, maybe this meant to be.

My husband and I came to Greenville last April for an engagement shoot one of my friends offered to do for us. We loved the area, but didn’t think much into it. We were going through a hard time at that point because he was about to lose my job and we had to move back home.

I know that I had a very difficult time grasping the fact that we needed to move back home until our wedding. But, then, we re-visited the option of Greenville in January again.

After discussing it and him getting an interview in Asheville to become a home inspector, we finally decided to take the leap and move here. We wanted to meet in the middle for a place to live and Greenville was it!

Now, we took a chance because he’s still going for his certificate and I do not have a job here – yet.

But, something told me it was okay. Something told me that I had to take this risk because well, I think it’s meant to be. I know I’ll find something eventually. Not to mention, it’s a great opportunity for him and whenever he talks about it, he lights up.

Nothing matters to me more than when my husband is happy. If he’s happy, I’m happy. And, that’s part of marriage. You need to make changes to benefit your partner. You need to sacrifice in order to help your partner out.

So, here we are, in Greenville.

Via Puckermob

My Husband And I Are Searching For Our Happiness

“It’s about $1,000 plus for an apartment in the north, so why don’t we look for places in the south?” my then-boyfriend asked me years ago.

We were searching for jobs in Tennessee – because I always wanted to live there.

So, he applied to a few jobs and boom, one day he got contacted, had two more interviews and obtained the job. We were off to embark on a new adventure.

Conveniently, we found an apartment, took all of our belongings and moved to Tennessee. It was a huge risk we took, but I think I was looking for happiness. Well, I think I was searching for several things.

I never did find them though.

I never felt like I belonged, there wasn’t much to do, my then-boyfriend and I constantly got into arguments and I didn’t make friends. People in the area kept telling me we’ll get used to living there, but we never did.

“You’ll be okay. It took me 6 months to feel settled. You’ll get there,” someone told me.

But, we lived there for a year and it still didn’t feel home to us.

Last April, my then-fiance lost his job and we were left with the decision to either ride it out or move back home.

We decided to temporarily move home because our wedding was taking place at the end of the year plus we needed to get back on our feet. However, both of us knew we wanted to be in the South. It was cheaper and the people were nicer.

I googled beautiful states in the South and landed on Charleston, SC.

Then, in December, he got a call about a job interview in Asheville, NC. The area was too expensive and we couldn’t find too many apartments. So, we rode around to see if there were other cities nearby we could live.

You should have seen us.

It was a sad story. 

We drove around Raleigh, Charlotte, Columbia, SC. We figured one of these cities would bring us a homey feeling. But, we never felt it. 

Then, we remembered Greenville, SC. We visited last April when one of my good friends offered to do our engagement shoot. We recalled feeling comfortable walking around the city, liking our surroundings and plus, we had a couple we knew!

Therefore, we’ve decided to choose Greenville.

Am I scared the same thing will happen again like Tennessee? Am I afraid to move away from everything I ever knew? Am I frightened to leave my family behind? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But, in life, you must take chances.

I just want to be happy. Is that so much to ask for?

I want to live in an inexpensive state that I don’t have to worry paying 1,000+ for an apartment. I want to make friends with people who are similar to me. I want us to enjoy ourselves.

Heck, I want us to really start our life together. We haven’t been able to enjoy our life as newlyweds because we’ve been too concerned with finding jobs and stressing about money.

So, it’s time to find our happiness and we’re going to great lengths to search for it.

Via Mogul

10 Things Never To Say To Someone Whose Been Dumped

“My boyfriend broke up with me – on Valentine’s Day,” my co-worker divulged to me.

My response was what a dick. When she explained how he just wasn’t ready for a relationship, my next instinct was to say something like, “he probably wasn’t the guy for you.” But, I didn’t because I remember when I got dumped. There are some things you just don’t say to someone whose been dumped.

  • There are plenty more fish in the sea. This is a phrase you do not want to hear this because well, it doesn’t make the break-up any better. While there are plenty more men out there, there are some things you keep to yourself.
  • It will get better. Eventually, the pain will subside, but again, if you just got dumped, hearing this will not make the situation better.
  • Give it time. Ugh, or maybe he’ll come around, right? Sorry, but if you’ve been broken up with, it was for a reason. Please stop talking, okay?
  • You deserve better. Okay, this isn’t always true. There are some cases where maybe he thought he was ready, but he really weren’t. If he was respectful and told you the truth, this phrase doesn’t need to be said.
  • Guys suck! Well, not all guys suck. While some guys are assholes, this does not pertain to all guys, so please retract this statement.
  • Join tinder! If you’re looking for a booty call – after you’ve been dumped – sure, try Tinder. But, this isn’t the best advice to take considering you probably don’t want to date for a long, long time.
  • He’ll regret it. Maybe, or maybe not? You’ll never know, but just try to focus on other activities instead.
  • It wasn’t meant to be. For goodness sake, you don’t know that, so why say it? Maybe he just wasn’t ready.
  • Hang in there! Yeah, I’ll be sure to note that on my calendar.
  • I never liked him anyway. Really? Did you really know him enough to make that assumption? Ugh, please stop.

Sorry, But Eating Healthy Doesn’t Make Me Weird

I’d rather eat food I made myself rather than a processed piece of shit that will mess up my stomach. I have a sensitive belly and when consumed the wrong food, the repercussions can ruin my day.

I’ve been to the gastroenterologist loads of times and the doctor suggested cutting out meat to see if it helped with my digestion. I never tried doing that because I feared I couldn’t stay away from hamburgers, especially. But, when my husband and I went on a cruise for our honeymoon and met with a nutritionist, he told me to do the same.

So, I did.

The nutritionist told me to stop eating processed foods and avoid food with animals that have four legs. He also provided us with a list of foods not to eat. This time I complied because I needed a change. My husband did the same and we waited a month to see how we felt.

To my surprise, my stomach actually did improve. I stopped feeling like utter shit after I consumed cheese or dairy products. I began to stick to a healthy diet and cut out foods with ingredients that I cannot pronounce.

And, here’s the thing: eating healthy does not make me weird. I’d much prefer a salad over a fried chicken sandwich with mounds of cheese. Not to mention, how many calories is that?

Whenever someone offers me something at work, if I don’t look at the ingredients and know it’s processed, I politely decline. However, I know what they’re thinking. They think I’m strange because who doesn’t like chocolate or muffins or heck, tater tots?

What they don’t know is I must look at every single label when I’m about to eat something or make sure it doesn’t have acid in it.

However, there is such a thing as cheat day, which is one day out of the week where I consume whatever I want. But, then, I get back to my healthy eating habits.

But, let me tell you something, most of the population is unhealthy and probably have several cheat days in a row. 

We walk around not knowing we have toxins in our bodies. This could eventually lead to cancer or other diseases, but no one knows it. We all just go about our day choosing foods that are extremely unhealthy because they look appetizing.

We’re so busy that we pick up fast food or purchase frozen foods. But, really, if we took the time to think about how bad this stuff is for us, we’d avoid it like the plague!

Let me ask a question: If a nutritionist told us to start looking at labels and watching calories, would we? Sadly, no.

As a general population, it’s hard to stop eating fries, fried food and foods that make us gain weight because it makes us feel good. But, I’m done with all that shit because it makes me feel horrible after I eat it.

I hate people looking at me like I have 4 eyes because I look at labels or opt for a healthy lunch. It doesn’t make me weird! Maybe I don’t want to get cancer or any other illnesses because I’m not concerned with watching what I’m putting in my mouth.

Just think about it.

Via Puckermob

Goodbye To The “Friends” I Left Behind In 2016

In 2016, I lost two of my best friends.

It wasn’t my fault either. Rather, it was both of them who to pushed me away subtly.

The first one probably hurt more the other because I truly thought we had something good. She was the one I relied on while living in another state. She was the one who sought advice from, leaned on when I needed someone to talk to and hung out with when I wanted “girl time.”

She punched me in the gut without even knowing it.

She hasn’t kept in touch with me and obviously, this is an indication that we never really were friends. I mean, I told her some deep and serious shit and she returned the favor. But, then, when I was gone she stabbed me in the back. This begs the question of: was she ever really my friend?

The second was someone I knew since 5th grade.

This one didn’t hurt as much because we haven’t been that close for a while. But, she was my maid of honor, so she was definitely an important part of my life. She was the one that never judged me. She was the one I could literally talk to about anything. She never questioned my decisions or even said much when it probably was downright nuts.

But, I knew that wasn’t her talking because she had changed since she’d been dating her now-fiancé.

It hurt though when she was adding unnecessary stress to what was set to be one of the best days of my life. She argued with stuff I asked of her and when I wanted her to do certain duties, she never came through. I was frustrated, but I never voiced it to her because I knew it was cause more drama.

So, I kept my mouth shut.

Then, she got annoyed with a detail I neglected to tell her. That was the last straw, so I asked her not to come to my wedding. I was pretty upset that along the way she caused such issues. That was supposed to be one of my best friends.

Both friendships were supposed to last, but I guess things don’t always work out the way you’d like them to. I got hurt in 2016, but now that it’s 2017, I’m starting over. Therefore, I’m going to be a bit more cautious and watch whose got my back.

Via Puckermob

My Year In Review for 2016

Truth be told 2016 has been a shitty year for all of us.

I overheard a woman talking to her friend about losing so many loved ones as well as celebrities this year.

I haven’t lost anyone, but I’ve had a rough year.

We started off the year with deciding whether he should look for another job in Tennessee or should we be grown-ups and temporarily move back home. I was absolutely distraught. I went from crying to accepting it to crying all over again. I remember the day he called me at work to tell me he was ready to quit his job because they were blaming him for something that wasn’t even his fault!

I was becoming more & more upset and pissed for his sake.

He then had his surgery in February, which left him out of work, but he was still getting paid, so we were okay.

We made the final decision to move back home at the end of April. So, I had to tell my job. My VP was very disappointed – as was I. Every day it would get closer and closer to when we had to leave and I’d become sadder and sadder and more pissed that his job did this to us.

He was happy to leave and get the hell away from Tennessee.

So, his brother, friend, and dad came to help us relocate back to PA.

On the ride home, with Ollie in the passenger seat, I cried my eyes out. I cried because I was losing my independence, that we were in this predicament and simply because I was not ready to leave.

My VP let me keep the magazine, but I decided to move on from the Community Manager position because it would be too hard to keep it remotely. Therefore, I spent my days working on the magazine and growing it. I spent my summer looking for jobs and feeling sorry for myself. I hated it, but I appreciated his parents for allowing us to move back in with them.

At the end of May, My Millennial Life was debuting in Canada at a theater, so the director Maureen Judge bought me a ticket to come visit and see the documentary. Doing that documentary was a great experience in itself! I met some great people – including the girl pictured below, Meron who was in the documentary with me.

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Eventually, I found a PT barista position in August.

Meanwhile, we were planning our wedding. It was a very stressful time in our lives because he went on unemployment and I was barely earning anything. We went from living comfortably to scraping by. But, again, his parents were generous and didn’t make us pay rent.

Regardless, we were in a bad place.

I was emotionally unstable at times while he was the one to pull me back up.

Then, his parents sold their house and the 4 of us moved into a 2-bedroom apartment. That was a hard adjustment for all of us. It was a smaller area, but we all got used to it. He and I were used to living in an apartment, so it wasn’t too big of a deal for us.

His brother’s wedding was October 14th, so we were having two weddings within 3 weeks of each other. Therefore, we had her bridal shower, mine, her bachelorette party and mine and of course the weddings.

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It was a fun time because I LOVE weddings, but the money wasn’t always available, so we did what we had to do in order to attend these events.

For my wedding, I decided to have two maids of honor.

Well, one of my maids of honor was causing such stress, so 5 days before the wedding, I told her I didn’t want her in my party or to come for that matter. I haven’t spoken with her since and that just means she never was my friend.

My best friend/maid of honor came into town for 3 days and her, her friend, Angelina and I went out two days before our wedding. I hadn’t seen her in almost a year, so it was a very happy reunion!

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Our wedding was perfect – surprising! Everything went smooth and we didn’t have ANY issues!

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Our honeymoon was mediocre because, on the cruise, we felt sick most days. But, it was nice to get away for a bit.

So, we’ve had ups & downs this year – mostly downs.

“Things will get better. Something will happen for you guys soon. Everything will be fine.” — I hear these phrases all the time and I hope they’re correct because other than getting married, nothing positive has happened. But, I’m going to try & stay positive because geez, something has to give!

I’m hoping 2017 will be better!

Here’s what I learned in 2016:

  1. Going through rough patches makes you a stronger person.
  2. Appreciating the people and good things in my life
  3. Stop dwelling on the past (this one especially)

I had such a HARD time letting go of Tennessee this year. It took me longer than the average person because being independent meant everything to me! But, I needed to learn that my independence isn’t gone for you, rather, it’s temporarily out of order.

Goals for 2017:

  1. Get even more into health & fitness.
  2. Have a successful career
  3. Grow even more as a person

2016 absolutely sucked, so I’m hoping in 2017, things will look up!

I Hope He Still Gives Me That Look Even When I’m Old And Gray

The man I love is lying at the end of the bed watching one of his favorite shows. He strokes his hair and squints at the screen.

“Put on your glasses, you keep squinting your eyes,” I say as I hand him his glasses. He smiles at me nonchalantly.

I stare at him for a few more minutes before I return back to writing. His back is facing me, so he doesn’t see me staring in his direction. I take a few more moments to look at the man I just married.

We’ve been married for almost 2 months. We’ve been together for over 3 years and we didn’t meet the conventional way, rather we met online.

I was against online dating and refused to try it, until my best friend convinced me. Long story short, I met my husband online and I don’t regret giving into something I wasn’t comfortable with doing.

I thank my best friend quite often for pushing me to create a profile on Okcupid. She was the one who told me it was okay to pursue online dating.

“It’s fun, trust me,” she said.

And, she was right.


“Will you always give me that look?” I ask my husband.

He smiles and says, “yes, of course.”

I just want to remember this moment before everything gets crazy, before kids come into the picture, before we purchase our first house, before we get old, before it’s the end of just the two of us.

“I’m scared that our love with change,” I say. “It may change, but I’ll always love you,” he responses with.

I just want him to always push the hair out of eyes, stroke my hair, hold me tight and cuddle me when I need it and most of all, love me after I’m pregnant. These are just fears of mine though.

Deep down, I know he will, but there’s always a part of me that’s scared of the changes that will happen in the years to come.

Even when I’m old and gray, I’m hoping he’ll love me just the same!

He kisses me on the forehead and hugs me tight. I never want him to stop doing that even when we have kids or even when my body changes.

We’re just starting our lives together and there will be lots of stuff we’re going to endure. But, at the end of the day, supporting each other will become a crucial part of our lives and I know we’ll be able to be there for each other no matter what!

Via Puckermob

Please Stop Saying Prince Charming Is Right Around The Corner

When I was single, I was so sick of people saying, “oh, it’s just not meant to be.”

I’d cringe every time I’d hear someone mumble those damn words.

I understand they were trying to make me feel better, but I just wanted to say shut the f**k up!

It never made me feel at ease. It just annoyed me and made me want to slap them.

It’s funny that I bring this up because I’ve caught myself saying this phrase to my single friends. But, sometimes, I just don’t know what to say. 

I mean, in my heart I know my girls will find the right guy, but I just don’t know when that will be.

Here’s the thing: when I met my husband, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. In fact, I didn’t want to have anything to do with men. I was so tired of dating guys, so I focused on my career instead. But, then, one day, Brett came along and the rest is history.

So, this is the advice I can give you: it will happen when you least expect it because well, life is so unpredictable and you cannot predict when the right guy will come along.

But, for those who are telling girls that prince charming is right around the corner, please stop unless you have like a crystal ball. If you can, in fact, see the future then I’ll allow you to say that phrase and tell me what’s ahead because I’d sure as hell like to know!

There’s also one thing you must remember: even though you crave a guy to take care of you, there are pros to being single.

You get plenty alone time to focus on hobbies, writing, crafts and hanging with friends.  Also, you don’t have to worry about checking in with your guy or getting to know his friends. And, I’m sure there are other things but I’m just going to leave you with the two most important!

Just keep those pros in mind late at night when you want to cuddle with someone.

It’s natural to want to be with someone because we all want to be loved, but unfortunately the more you want something, it never really happens. It usually occurs when you don’t care or aren’t looking for a boyfriend.

And, that’s not bullshit, it really does normally happen like that.

I just want people to stop feeding you lines because they’d like to make you feel better because it doesn’t help or work!

Just tell me to focus on my own stuff and then at some point the guy I’m destined to be with will walk by.

Via Puckermob

Let’s Talk About Frustration

I’m human and I get frustrated.

We’re all human and frustration is part of life. But, it’s all in how you deal with it. Do you let it get you down? Do you let it get to you so badly that you stop trying? This is when it’s a problem.

There are days when I’m absolutely fine and then there are days I call my “down days” where it takes me a while to get out of my funk.

Trust me, eventually I get back to normal, but it may take me some time.

I get frustrated that I don’t have a career or I’m not able to afford my own place. I get frustrated that at 27 years old I don’t have everything I want.

I’m always appreciative of my husband, his family and mine for keeping us afloat. Again, that’s one thing I must always remember when I become frustrated. I know, I get it, but I’m human and I can feel frustrated sometimes.

But, if I let it constantly continue and don’t do anything about it, I’m doing nothing but hurting myself. I should be proud of myself for finding a guy who I call my husband, my degrees and my experience. I keep telling myself that there are some people who haven’t come as far as me.

Not to mention, I was strong enough to move 800+ miles away from family and friends. There are too many people who would have been able to do that.

So, when you’re feeling down, depressed or frustrated, remember all the positives going on in your life. Remember what you have instead of what you don’t have.

Via Puckermob

We Went To Three Cities And A Cruise For Our Honeymoon Part 1

My husband hates flying, so we decided to take a road trip to visit Savannah, GA, Charleston, SC and Raleigh, NC. In-between, we went on a cruise to the (Amber Cove) Dominican Republic, St. Thomas & St. Maarten.

I was more excited about the cruise than anything else.

But, to my surprise, it was actually quite disappointing because we got motion sickness and we weren’t thrilled with the forms of entertainment as well as the food. Ick! After a few days, we were sick of the food.

I yearned to eat real food instead of buffets every day. I mean, it was nice to just get food whenever you wanted, but it was also dangerous because it was mostly processed and I feared gaining weight.

Let’s start with the cruise, which lasted 7 days.

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When we got to our room, we were greeted with the photo below – which was the sweetest thing ever!

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On the 2nd night, we dressed up for FORMAL NIGHT. Since it was our honeymoon, the crew members came over with the cake – shown below – and sang HAPPY HONEYMOON TO YOU.

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We did THREE excursions. The first was riding ATVS.

It was muddy and in the Dominican Republic. I let him drive because I was afraid. We got really muddy, but it was fun. We also drank.. a lot. I’m not used to drinking that much, but I just went with the flow.

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THIS IS KELVIN, THE TOUR GUIDE, MY HUSBAND & I.

Next was snorkeling in St. Thomas.

OMG.

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THE VIEW.

It was absolutely beautiful and snorkeling was so much fun.

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YEAH, YOU AHEAD AND SAY IT – WE LOOK LAMEEEE.

Next was a Sunset Cruise, which disappointed us because people were chatting, drinking and the captain didn’t even go toward the sunset. You would think she would considering it was the Sunset Cruise, right?

WRONG.

We went to a few fitness classes while on the boat, watched a movie, went in the hot-tub, swam, sunbathed and drank.

We decided that we aren’t CRUISE PEOPLE, but we wouldn’t have figured that out if we didn’t go, so it was a good experience.

This is just PART ONE of the #Alwaysn4evan Honeymoon.

Stay tuned for PART TWO.

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