I Promise, Good Guys Still Exist

“I’m just not sure that there are good guys out there anymore,” my best friend said to me. “I’m actually pretty frustrated.”

I assured her that there are still good guys out there. She merely hasn’t met the right guy as of yet. But, one day, she’ll meet him.

She vouched to be single for a whole year and so, I think it was the universe telling her that she needs to abide by her rule. However, I told her not to give up on guys because there are still gentleman out there, but maybe she and other women either need to look a tad closer, lower their expectations or just wait for him to come.

And, so, the guys who are primarily put in the “friend zone” are the ones who get looked past. They’re the ones who will always be there for you, support you no matter what, be your shoulder to lean on and most of all, always listen.

I promise, guys like that still exist.

Maybe you won’t say it at first glance, but I can assure you I have a good husband. His demeanor may tell you otherwise, but if he wasn’t a good guy, I wouldn’t have married him.

He was usually the man women looked past.

He was catfished and even was the guy who girls just went to for an ear. However, to women, he was never boyfriend material.

There are plenty of guys out there like that.

I won’t debate that it’s hard to find a genuine guy. Most guys just want to sleep with you, but then, there are others who just love being in your company. They want companionship.

Most men are immature.

But, that doesn’t mean you should give up on men, but I didn’t say “all.”

“Don’t give up,” I told my best friend. “You’ll find that guy one day.”

For some women, it might take a little longer to settle down, but it will happen. I’m proof of that. And, I’m here to tell you to keep dating. Also, it occurs when you least expect it. So, do not plan to magically meet a guy.

Don’t over think it. Don’t yearn for a relationship. Just let it happen.

Via Puckermob

Dear Men, Is It So Hard To Be A Good Significant Other?

Dear Men:

Is it so hard to be a good significant other? A good boyfriend entails listening to us when we’re venting about a bad day, being our shoulder to lean on when we’re upset, showing support, making us happy, and cuddling.

A good boyfriend entails listening to us when we’re venting about a bad day, being our shoulder to lean on when we’re upset, showing support, making us happy, and cuddling.

Now, when it comes to participating in activities you don’t want to take part in, I feel neutral. Like, if it’s a holiday and you don’t want to hang with our family, please just make the best of it.

We know you don’t always want to come with us, but to make us and our families happy, can you just pretend you want to be there? Geez. Please try to stay off your phone and actually converse with other people.

It’s not hard to be a decent boyfriend.

Here’s another question: why do you treat us like scum sometimes?

You get on our case just as much as we get on yours. You’re picky and needy at times, so does that mean we should treat you like s***?

Why not try some of these ideas?

Occasionally write us notes.

Maybe buy us flowers once in a blue moon?

Surprise us with lunch at our office.

Don’t ever stop kissing, hugging and cuddling with us. We need affection, but please don’t be over the top and grabby.

We’re not as complicated as you think. We just want to be loved, accepted and complimented about our appearance. So, please let us know when we look pretty.

Don’t ever stop giving us “the look.”

Please give us your coat when we’re freezing. Or, at least, attempt to keep us warm.

Offer to pay for the meal. And, we’ll get the next tab.

Always be kind and generous.

Kiss us goodnight. Kiss us goodbye.

Always say, “I love you.”

Best of all, just love us the way we are.

Via Puckermob

Don’t Forget To Appreciate Your Significant Other

He’s in the kitchen making dinner as I sit down and relax after a long day at work.

I look at him as he’s flipping the turkey burgers and making sure our sweet potato fries don’t burn. He’s attentively looking at the burgers to see if they’re done.

As he pulls the fries out of the oven, I get up to put a sweatshirt on because I know dinner is almost ready and I’m cold.

While in our room, I peer out the door and see him standing in the kitchen plating our dinner.

This brings me back to the time I watched him flip strawberry pancakes at my house after he slept over for the first time. He made them for my mom and I and we both thought they were delicious!

I’m brought back to reality when I see him smile at me and hold up the burgers for us to devour.

I smile back and then face the closest mirror we have examining myself.

Tears begin to roll down my face because I forget to appreciate the small things he does for me. He makes dinner every night because he knows I’m too tired.

He’s trying to start his own business, but it’s taking longer than he thought.

He looks for reassurance from me and asks my opinion on his logo, how his business plan looks and whether or not he should tint his windows so no one can see his tools.

I forget to appreciate him when he runs errands for me. I forget to appreciate him when he wants to hug or kiss me. I forget to appreciate him when he wakes up at 7:00 a.m. just to make me breakfast.

In general, sometimes, we forget to appreciate our significant others because we’re so busy with life. We don’t take time to really look at what’s in front of us. We’re so bogged down about money, getting ahead, etc, that we neglect our significant other. I am a culprit of that.

And, when my husband tries to nestle his head next to mine, I often push him away because I am not affectionate. But, I need to remember that this is just one of the ways he’s showing me how much he loves me.

My husband could be lying around and not doing anything while I make money, but he’s not lazy. I need to appreciate that at the end of the day one of the most important things to him is making me happy.

“I can never do anything right, can I, Hope?” he asks. My heart stops because I know I’ve been acting like a stuck up snob. And, I know I can do better than that.

At the end of the day, I just need to remember to appreciate him and you must stop and do the same.

Via Puckermob

15 Things On What Being In Love Means

Love is more than getting a dog and watching Netflix together.

  • While spending time is important, you must also spend time apart so you have a chance to miss your partner.
  • Love means sacrificing what you want to do for what they want to do.
  • Love means buying a gift for them when you see something at the store that reminds you of them.
  • Love means accepting their flaws.
  • Love means supporting them through thick and thin.
  • Love means waiting for their phone call to let you know they got there when they’re out of town.
  • Love means popping their pimples when they ask you to – even if you think it’s gross.
  • Love means waking up before they do and making breakfast.
  • Love means saving the last yogurt for them because you know they love that flavor.
  • Love means giving them a deep tissue massage even if you’re exhausted.
  • Love means communicating, compromising and coming to an agreement for the harder decisions in life.
  • Love means letting her lay on your chest even if you’re physically and mentally drained.
  • Love means planning the wedding she wants instead of what you desire.
  • Love means earning enough funds so you two can move far away because she’s always liked to live in the south.
  • Love means constantly reminding them how much they mean to you, how much you care for them.

There’s more to love than kisses, hugs and sex. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies. It can be hard work, but if you really love each other, it should be a breeze!

I’m Going To Do Everything I Can To Have An Above Average Marriage

“I want us to say one thing we love about each other on our date nights,” I said to my husband last night.

He scuffed and said, “but, I don’t need to hear that stuff because I already know by the way you look at me.” I couldn’t argue that because my heart jumps whenever I see him working on a project; whenever he’s playing with Ollie; heck, even when he’s making dinner.

These are actions, not words.

I used to think I was meant to be with a sensitive guy, a guy who was a writer, who cried and talked about his emotions all the time. But, I keep forgetting that I actually was with a guy that like and he irked me.

He constantly needed to show his affection, but in reality, I think it was a ploy to get me to sleep with him.

It’s safe to say after 6 months, I was done.

As for my husband and I, our relationship hasn’t been typical and normal, so why should our marriage? I want an above average marriage where we can just look into each other’s eyes and not have to say a word.

I mean, we met online, hung out sparingly due to his job, lived with his parents for a few months, moved to Tennessee, back to PA, then shared an apartment with his folks and now, we’re in Greenville. I’d say that doesn’t sound like an average marriage.

He’s anti-social, but shows that he cares by helping people at the drop of a hat, while I’d rather show I care by checking in to see how people are doing. He’s quiet and keeps to himself while I like hanging out with people. However, I am quiet too, so that’s definitely where we meet in the middle.

We play fight, “insult” each other while on the other end, we kiss, make love, hold hands and go out on date nights. We are best friends, yet lovers. We bicker, argue about petty shit.

It’s usually me who starts it, but I do it because he pisses me off so badly. But, I love him. I love him with all my heart and miss him whenever he’s away.

I wish he’d change and he wishes I would too, but we’re human and we’ve been this way most of our lives, so never fully change. And, if they do, they just end up coming full circle.

I don’t need any books or anything to tell me how I feel about him. His logic level is above average and whenever we get into arguments, he wins most of the time because I have nothing else to say. He articulates himself very well and I’m stuck stumbling on my own words.

He makes me a better person and I make him a better human being.

I don’t need that mushy gushy shit all the time and neither does he. I don’t always need him to tell him how he feels about me because I already know. I can tell by his actions and how he brushes the hair out of my eyes, how he cleans out the corners of my eyes in the morning, how he grabs me, pulls me on top of him and just puts his arms around me tightly.

“You need to have more confidence,” he says while he guzzles a cup of water. “You need to believe that you’re good enough for the position. You need to show them that you’re the right fit.”

He tries to boost my confidence by telling me my strengths as I job search.

He’s supportive, listens and just wants me to build up enough confidence to believe in myself.

No one is perfect. No marriage is perfect.

Everyone has flaws. It’s just about how to accept them. If I want an above average marriage, I need to start accepting his flaws like he accepts mine.

“It’s just not fair that you keep picking on my flaws, but I don’t have any issues with yours,” he says. It’s not fair.

There’s too much bullshit in life to fight about flaws. There’s too much going on in our lives between trying to find jobs, planning for children within the next few years, maintaining a relationship with each other, family, dog and friends.

He was the first one who got this thought into my mind that we should have an above average marriage.

My first thought was whatever – yeah, I can be a bitch sometimes. But, then, I really started thinking about it and now, I want the same thing and I’m going to fight like hell to maintain it because I love this man with all my heart and I know he feels the same.

Via Huffington Post

10 Ways to Say ‘I Do’ Without Going Bankrupt

When my then-boyfriend asked for my hand in marriage November 2015, we were both full-time employees living in Tennessee.

Not only were we living on our own, we now had to pay for a wedding. So, before we began planning, we sat down and set a budget of $15,000. Knowing the average was about $35,329, according to Fortune.com, we planned to spend half of that!

But, then, four months later, life got turned upside down when we had to move back home.

My then-fiancé lost his job and I had to find another job because I knew working remotely would be a bit too difficult.

His parents and my parents told us they’d pitch in, but in reality, we wanted to do this on our own.  Regardless, we appreciated everything they gave us.

We also knew realistically we were unable to do so because of our job situations.

We budgeted and did the best we could to save money and not overspend. We created a budget sheet on excel to track our spending.

I wanted a beautiful wedding, but I also didn’t anticipate having to pay — for instance — the caterer a whopping $3,000 for their services. If you don’t know already, weddings are expensive. However, they do not have to be – if you budget for them or go for a cheaper route.

My husband wanted to elope, but I refused because I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle, dance with me and have the DJ play a song my husband and I could dance to.

So, if you’re smart about it, your wedding can cost less than a mortgage. In the end, ours was around $15,000 and now, the average cost of a wedding is 35,329! So, we spent less than 53% of the average wedding!

Here are some tips on how to dish out less dough:

  • Make DIY your BFF. Instead of buying the décor, make it from scratch. My husband and I scoped Pinterest and found loads of décor for weddings!
  • Don’t invite Aunt what’s her face. Here’s my rule of thumb, if you haven’t talked in the last two years, heck within the last year, these people do not deserve to be invited.
  • Send out Save the dates via email. I was told by a friend who got married that people throw away save the dates. So, if you are going to, send it via email.
  • Choose an inexpensive venue. My husband and I chose a $4,000 venue. I’m sure there are way cheaper venues, but we wanted a rustic wedding, so we chose an old manor. Just do your research!
  • Make your own bouquets. Flowers are expensive. However, they don’t have to be if you don’t get them. So, be sure to opt for something besides flowers.
  • Plan the wedding and reception at one location. Don’t make your guests flock to two different locations. It’s also way easier on the bridal party who doesn’t have to spend time in a car riding to the other location.
  • Your dress doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. I set a budget for my dress to be $400-$500. Trust me; it is possible to find a beautiful dress for that amount.
  • Opt for less expensive food dishes. You don’t need caviar and shrimp. Go for something simpler and less likely to break your bank.
  • Choose cupcakes instead of cake. Our cake was around $300 and that was the cheapest we found. However, I’m sure cupcakes are just as delicious and less costly.
  • You don’t need too much food. You don’t need fondue, dessert bar, smores bar and an open bar. Just one dessert option will suffice.
 Via Puckermob

Here’s Hoping I Can Keep My Emotions Together

I’m in Greenville and I’m at Walmart picking out the curtains and garbage bags for our new apartment. I’m in my own world as I take a look around the store.

My dad calls me, but doesn’t leave a message while I’m chatting away with my husband about shower curtains.

I know that if my dad called me, the conversation wasn’t going to be a good one, especially since he doesn’t leave a message.

I nervously dial his number and wait for him to answer.

When he doesn’t, I breathe a sigh of relief because maybe just maybe he accidently dialed my number. I think, maybe it was a butt dial.

Then, a minute later, my phone rings.

He clears his throat before telling me my grandma has stopped eating. “She didn’t eat this morning or this afternoon. I’m thinking maybe tonight or tomorrow.”

My husband and I were set to move to Greenville on March 13th. We’d arranged the truck rental, our belongings and we were ready to leave PA. But, when I got that call, it changed everything.

“Okay, well, I’m going to have to stay and Brett has to go with his parents,” I said.

It was the only option.

When I got off the phone, I felt sad for my dad. His mom is dying and he must be devastated. Sure, it was bound to happen, but I figured it would be at least another year down the road. And, what great timing it was to occur.

The next day, my mom sent a text around 2 saying that grandma passed.

I felt pretty down that day for some reason. I was in North Carolina waiting for my husband to take a break from class and eat lunch with me.

I laid down across my front and passenger seats telling myself not to get upset, don’t let my emotions get the best of me. I kept repeating the same thing over and over to myself. I haven’t thought much about my emotions because I fear I won’t be able to control myself.

The plan was his parents had to bring the enterprise truck back in PA – near my parents house – so I drove back with them to attend the funeral. So, his folks generously drove down with us, helped us arrange everything and left two days later to continue their lives.

Gosh, I’m trying to be strong and not lose it. I just hope I have the strength to keep it together because I feel my throat tightening.

My Husband And I Are Searching For Our Happiness

“It’s about $1,000 plus for an apartment in the north, so why don’t we look for places in the south?” my then-boyfriend asked me years ago.

We were searching for jobs in Tennessee – because I always wanted to live there.

So, he applied to a few jobs and boom, one day he got contacted, had two more interviews and obtained the job. We were off to embark on a new adventure.

Conveniently, we found an apartment, took all of our belongings and moved to Tennessee. It was a huge risk we took, but I think I was looking for happiness. Well, I think I was searching for several things.

I never did find them though.

I never felt like I belonged, there wasn’t much to do, my then-boyfriend and I constantly got into arguments and I didn’t make friends. People in the area kept telling me we’ll get used to living there, but we never did.

“You’ll be okay. It took me 6 months to feel settled. You’ll get there,” someone told me.

But, we lived there for a year and it still didn’t feel home to us.

Last April, my then-fiance lost his job and we were left with the decision to either ride it out or move back home.

We decided to temporarily move home because our wedding was taking place at the end of the year plus we needed to get back on our feet. However, both of us knew we wanted to be in the South. It was cheaper and the people were nicer.

I googled beautiful states in the South and landed on Charleston, SC.

Then, in December, he got a call about a job interview in Asheville, NC. The area was too expensive and we couldn’t find too many apartments. So, we rode around to see if there were other cities nearby we could live.

You should have seen us.

It was a sad story. 

We drove around Raleigh, Charlotte, Columbia, SC. We figured one of these cities would bring us a homey feeling. But, we never felt it. 

Then, we remembered Greenville, SC. We visited last April when one of my good friends offered to do our engagement shoot. We recalled feeling comfortable walking around the city, liking our surroundings and plus, we had a couple we knew!

Therefore, we’ve decided to choose Greenville.

Am I scared the same thing will happen again like Tennessee? Am I afraid to move away from everything I ever knew? Am I frightened to leave my family behind? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But, in life, you must take chances.

I just want to be happy. Is that so much to ask for?

I want to live in an inexpensive state that I don’t have to worry paying 1,000+ for an apartment. I want to make friends with people who are similar to me. I want us to enjoy ourselves.

Heck, I want us to really start our life together. We haven’t been able to enjoy our life as newlyweds because we’ve been too concerned with finding jobs and stressing about money.

So, it’s time to find our happiness and we’re going to great lengths to search for it.

Via Mogul

I Hope He Still Gives Me That Look Even When I’m Old And Gray

The man I love is lying at the end of the bed watching one of his favorite shows. He strokes his hair and squints at the screen.

“Put on your glasses, you keep squinting your eyes,” I say as I hand him his glasses. He smiles at me nonchalantly.

I stare at him for a few more minutes before I return back to writing. His back is facing me, so he doesn’t see me staring in his direction. I take a few more moments to look at the man I just married.

We’ve been married for almost 2 months. We’ve been together for over 3 years and we didn’t meet the conventional way, rather we met online.

I was against online dating and refused to try it, until my best friend convinced me. Long story short, I met my husband online and I don’t regret giving into something I wasn’t comfortable with doing.

I thank my best friend quite often for pushing me to create a profile on Okcupid. She was the one who told me it was okay to pursue online dating.

“It’s fun, trust me,” she said.

And, she was right.


“Will you always give me that look?” I ask my husband.

He smiles and says, “yes, of course.”

I just want to remember this moment before everything gets crazy, before kids come into the picture, before we purchase our first house, before we get old, before it’s the end of just the two of us.

“I’m scared that our love with change,” I say. “It may change, but I’ll always love you,” he responses with.

I just want him to always push the hair out of eyes, stroke my hair, hold me tight and cuddle me when I need it and most of all, love me after I’m pregnant. These are just fears of mine though.

Deep down, I know he will, but there’s always a part of me that’s scared of the changes that will happen in the years to come.

Even when I’m old and gray, I’m hoping he’ll love me just the same!

He kisses me on the forehead and hugs me tight. I never want him to stop doing that even when we have kids or even when my body changes.

We’re just starting our lives together and there will be lots of stuff we’re going to endure. But, at the end of the day, supporting each other will become a crucial part of our lives and I know we’ll be able to be there for each other no matter what!

Via Puckermob

Please Stop Saying Prince Charming Is Right Around The Corner

When I was single, I was so sick of people saying, “oh, it’s just not meant to be.”

I’d cringe every time I’d hear someone mumble those damn words.

I understand they were trying to make me feel better, but I just wanted to say shut the f**k up!

It never made me feel at ease. It just annoyed me and made me want to slap them.

It’s funny that I bring this up because I’ve caught myself saying this phrase to my single friends. But, sometimes, I just don’t know what to say. 

I mean, in my heart I know my girls will find the right guy, but I just don’t know when that will be.

Here’s the thing: when I met my husband, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. In fact, I didn’t want to have anything to do with men. I was so tired of dating guys, so I focused on my career instead. But, then, one day, Brett came along and the rest is history.

So, this is the advice I can give you: it will happen when you least expect it because well, life is so unpredictable and you cannot predict when the right guy will come along.

But, for those who are telling girls that prince charming is right around the corner, please stop unless you have like a crystal ball. If you can, in fact, see the future then I’ll allow you to say that phrase and tell me what’s ahead because I’d sure as hell like to know!

There’s also one thing you must remember: even though you crave a guy to take care of you, there are pros to being single.

You get plenty alone time to focus on hobbies, writing, crafts and hanging with friends.  Also, you don’t have to worry about checking in with your guy or getting to know his friends. And, I’m sure there are other things but I’m just going to leave you with the two most important!

Just keep those pros in mind late at night when you want to cuddle with someone.

It’s natural to want to be with someone because we all want to be loved, but unfortunately the more you want something, it never really happens. It usually occurs when you don’t care or aren’t looking for a boyfriend.

And, that’s not bullshit, it really does normally happen like that.

I just want people to stop feeding you lines because they’d like to make you feel better because it doesn’t help or work!

Just tell me to focus on my own stuff and then at some point the guy I’m destined to be with will walk by.

Via Puckermob