My Husband And I Are Searching For Our Happiness

“It’s about $1,000 plus for an apartment in the north, so why don’t we look for places in the south?” my then-boyfriend asked me years ago.

We were searching for jobs in Tennessee – because I always wanted to live there.

So, he applied to a few jobs and boom, one day he got contacted, had two more interviews and obtained the job. We were off to embark on a new adventure.

Conveniently, we found an apartment, took all of our belongings and moved to Tennessee. It was a huge risk we took, but I think I was looking for happiness. Well, I think I was searching for several things.

I never did find them though.

I never felt like I belonged, there wasn’t much to do, my then-boyfriend and I constantly got into arguments and I didn’t make friends. People in the area kept telling me we’ll get used to living there, but we never did.

“You’ll be okay. It took me 6 months to feel settled. You’ll get there,” someone told me.

But, we lived there for a year and it still didn’t feel home to us.

Last April, my then-fiance lost his job and we were left with the decision to either ride it out or move back home.

We decided to temporarily move home because our wedding was taking place at the end of the year plus we needed to get back on our feet. However, both of us knew we wanted to be in the South. It was cheaper and the people were nicer.

I googled beautiful states in the South and landed on Charleston, SC.

Then, in December, he got a call about a job interview in Asheville, NC. The area was too expensive and we couldn’t find too many apartments. So, we rode around to see if there were other cities nearby we could live.

You should have seen us.

It was a sad story. 

We drove around Raleigh, Charlotte, Columbia, SC. We figured one of these cities would bring us a homey feeling. But, we never felt it. 

Then, we remembered Greenville, SC. We visited last April when one of my good friends offered to do our engagement shoot. We recalled feeling comfortable walking around the city, liking our surroundings and plus, we had a couple we knew!

Therefore, we’ve decided to choose Greenville.

Am I scared the same thing will happen again like Tennessee? Am I afraid to move away from everything I ever knew? Am I frightened to leave my family behind? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But, in life, you must take chances.

I just want to be happy. Is that so much to ask for?

I want to live in an inexpensive state that I don’t have to worry paying 1,000+ for an apartment. I want to make friends with people who are similar to me. I want us to enjoy ourselves.

Heck, I want us to really start our life together. We haven’t been able to enjoy our life as newlyweds because we’ve been too concerned with finding jobs and stressing about money.

So, it’s time to find our happiness and we’re going to great lengths to search for it.

Via Mogul

Shit: I’m Getting Married In Almost A Month

My fiancé and I visited our venue today to go over the wedding ceremony with our caterer.

While we were there, things were cool and casual because it felt like a normal conversation. You know, people talk about their wedding every day, right? It’s totally normal.

Not.

We’re talking about our wedding and you’re talking about what to eat for dinner. We’re discussing décor, napkins, silverware and you’re calling for your yearly check-up with your doctor. We’re making and buying bridesmaid and groomsmen gift while you take the dogs for a walk.

Somehow, it doesn’t seem that easy, huh? I hope you caught-on to my sarcasm.

Shit.

It’s almost a month until I get married. This will be the man I will be with – forever. I will grow old with him, have kids, a house, and share almost everything with.

Today, I heard a girl claim, “I’m not ready to get married!” I just smiled to myself because in almost a month, I’ll be a married woman.

When you’re little, you envision who you’ll marry, how the day will play out, what your dress will look like and who your bridesmaids will be. It’s funny thinking back to a couple of years when I was just dating and now I’m getting married.

It’s both a happy and emotional time in your life.

It’s frightening and thrilling at the same time. Your emotions are all out of whack and you can hardly breathe. All I know is in about a month, my last name will change. I will no longer have the same one I was given at birth and that will be weird in itself.

Of course I’m scared, but everyone is when they make the giant leap to tie the knot. I’m sure it’s natural, but it’s happening! Ready or not, here I come.

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Let’s Talk Reality

So, it’s been about 2 weeks that I’ve haven’t an article.

I guess I’ve been conjuring up something that didn’t sound like I was complaining or missing Tennessee. It seems those have been my current trends the last couple of months.

Don’t worry – I won’t make this one of those articles that I solely focus on my feelings about moving and such. When it happens, I’ll welcome it with open arms. But, until then, I can only bask in the moment of where I am in life.

Let’s talk reality.

I just turned 27 and I feel old. I know you’ll say I’m being stupid, but it’s true. I recently began working at a local college and to think, I graduated from this college 6 years ago while people are just starting is insane! It blows my mind, but I know I’ll get there.

For some people, it takes time.

I think for my fiancé and I, it may take more time than the average person. We’re still trying to find ourselves before we have kids and move onto the next step in our lives.

“You know, people usually have a career first and then get married, but we’re doing the opposite,” said my fiancé.

Well, honestly, a year ago, we didn’t know we’d be in this situation, but we are and we now have to learn to deal with it. We need to face reality and the facts and I needed to let my old life go so I could move forward. I’m now looking toward the future and pondering where our next big move will be.

I’m more in-tune with reality and finally accepting my situation for what it is. This is something I should have done a long time ago, but it’s better late than never, huh?

I never had a stable career and neither has my fiancé.

We’ve both just had ‘jobs.’ They were temporary. Everything was temporary until we finally decided what we truly wanted to do in life, which is still in question.

There are days where I get frustrated. There are days where I just break down and cry. I cry because nothing seems to be working out. And, I’m sure everyone does that because we are all human.

I know that at 27 I didn’t expect to be living with parents, but my problem is comparing myself to others. There are people in worse positions than me and I need to realize that.

Even though this doesn’t seem like reality, it is. But, in a way, I’m glad this happened because it goes to show you that life isn’t perfect, life is full of bumps, twists and turns. And, we all need to find our way no matter how it happens.

Meet Someone Organically On The LOV Dating App

Tired of those online dating sites like Okcupid and Plentyoffish? Are you looking for something more than just a swipe? If so, you’re in for a real treat with the LOV Dating App.

According to the site, their motto is to “GROW LOVE ORGANICALLY…Plant The Seed That Will Grow Into A Relationship.” And, finally, there’s an app that lets you meet before you meet! Sure – you can exchange skype names or facetime, but maybe you don’t feel comfortable handing out your number or name right away. With this app, you don’t even need to give out your phone number; you can chat via text or video on the app itself!

One of the best things about this app is as long as you’re a human, you can join! They use phone verification from twitter digits, so you won’t have to sign up through an e-mail or a social network. Can other dating apps do that? Probably not!

Here are 4 cool features this app has, according to Lovapp.co:

  • LOV allows you to introduce yourself to anyone.

Don’t be shy, reach out and say HELLO!

  • ONLY CHAT WITH THOSE WHO HAVE POTENTIAL

After an intro, no further messages can be received until you’ve responded.

  • SIMPLY DESIGNED FOR YOUR BENEFIT

You always have 5 connections (flower pots) available
so you can focus on your best potentials.

  • DATE ASSISTANT BUILT-IN

Yelp integration finds the best date spots for you, while LOV let’s you both schedule, and reminds you before your date.

Watch this video for more details : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBcXtWppej0&feature=youtu.be

Download this app through Google play. Also, be sure to visit LOVapp.co for more general information!

Via Mogul

I No Longer Feel Safe In This World

On Sunday morning, I looked on Facebook to see the latest news happening in the world. I stopped when I heard about the shooting in Orlando. I began reading post after post, story after story, death rate increase, and felt sick to my stomach.

These victims were brothers, sisters, friends, husband, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, aunts, uncles, cousins and so on. And, they were killed in yet another act of violence. But, then I couldn’t look anymore because I was on the verge of crying.

Why?

Why must we continue to kill incident people? Why does this world generate so much hate? Why does this keep happening?

Colleges. Movie theaters. High Schools. And, now, a club? What’s next? A local coffee shop?

I told my fiancé last night that I’m afraid to go anywhere because I fear getting shot. Is sad is that? There’s no way anyone can feel safe in this world anymore. I’d like to protect all my loved ones, but it’s impossible. I’d like to crawl into a little bubble and never come out, but then, I’d never get to experience life, so I guess I have no choice but to go out. I mean, I cannot be afraid to live, but evidently, I can’t be too free because look what could happen.

Why do we allow people to carry around guns? It’s so easy to access guns these days. So, with all of this crime and violence in this world, why don’t we change our laws? If people are skeptical doing something as simple as going out to dinner, there’s a huge problem.

After continuously reading the updates, I became angry. Now, I don’t usually talk about politics or laws because I’m more interested in happy things, but this attack hit home for some reason. I mean, it just pisses me off that we’re allowing people to get away with this stuff! This should never have happened.

I just, I don’t feel safe anymore. I’m petrified about bringing children into this world with all of the hate and suicides. Until things improve – I won’t feel safe.

via Mogul

It’s Okay, It Just Wasn’t Our Time

By now, you know we’ve been living at my fiancés parents for over a month. But, a year ago, we were out on our own in Tennessee. We had our own apartment, jobs and life. We were able to decorate the apartment and do whatever we wanted to it. Would I go back to that pretty and cute place? Absolutely.

But, the reality is, it’s come and gone.

I used to feel jealous whenever my future brother-in-law and his fiancé and future sister-in-law and hubby would talk about their houses because they had something that I didn’t. But, you know what; it was “their time.” It was ‘meant to be’ for them to buy a house at that time. They’re both stable, so it was only fair. Who am I to take that away from them? I know how I felt when my fiancé and I had our place – on cloud 9.

I mean, in reality, I want nothing more than to have my own place, but it’s just not possible right now and that’s okay. I have a part-time job and he’s looking for a job. I’m just trying to stay positive and look at the good things coming up in our lives – one being getting married in November.

Honestly, we need to focus more on finding jobs that we know we want instead of ones we’re just going to take. I’m not saying that happened last time, but maybe it was a bit rushed. Even still, we learned and now, we know what we need to look for.

It has to be okay. It will be okay. It’s just not our time. It seems there’s something we need to do before we have our own place. I haven’t found out what it is, but when I do, I’ll be sure to let you know. But, for now, I’m going to focus on planning our wedding.

Via Mogul

How To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

“I feel like a loser,” I said to my fiancé, who is in almost the exact same position as I am.

But, truly, am I? Would a loser have a BA in English and an AD in Journalism? Would a loser have 5 internships in the media industry? Would a loser have been able to move away with her then-boyfriend, find a job and make on it her own? Probably not.

So, then, why do I keep doing this to myself?

So, is being down making me feel any better? Is it doing wonders for me? Nope, so, then why do I keep doing this to myself? What’s the point? It’s time to stop and just accept the situation for what it is. Sure – it was not supposed to happen, but it did. And, I may not know the reason why for a while, but it happened.

I need to learn how to bring myself back up. No one can do it other than myself. Here are some positive quotes to look at when you’re feeling sorry for yourself:

  • “Life is like photography; you need the negatives to develop.”
  • “One small positive thought in the morning can change your day.”
  • “If you can dream it, you can achieve it.”
  • “Stop saying ‘I wish’ and start saying ‘I will.’”
  • “Positive mind. Positive vibes. Positive life.”
  • “You can’t change what’s going on around you until you start changing what’s going on within you.”

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Please Stop Labeling Millennials

Millennials get shit on time and time again. We’re classified as “spoiled” “privileged” and “entitled.” I’ll probably get bashed for defending us, but someone has to.  Society says all we do is “complain.” I’m here to argue that statement. It’s called ‘venting.’ Unless you’re someone who complains and does nothing to fix it, I don’t see any issues in talking about how frustrating it is to find a job.

As a millennial, I’ve had 5 internships, freelance and still, it’s not enough.  This leads me into the documentary I was featured in called, “My Millennial Life.”  This documentary was about 5 – including myself – applying for jobs, finding love as well as ourselves and moving out for the first time.

I went to Toronto last week to see it premiere and I was rather nervous about what people would say. What I didn’t know is everyone expects millennials to “fix” everything. No one gave us the tools nor is anyone giving us a chance, so how are we supposed to do that? How are we expected to “fix” it if we weren’t the ones who broke it in the first place? Why are we being blamed for not being able to find jobs? Why don’t our parents understand that it’s not like it was when they were our age?

My dad obtained a job at the steel mill out of high school, stayed for years until he got laid off. But even still, our parents didn’t have as many issues finding work. It was rather simple and easy. Sure – they went through struggles, but it’s not the exact same as us.

Director Maureen Judge—who was a pleasure to work with over the past 2 years – constantly defends us and understands the hardships we face. In the documentary, I start off living at home, then move to Tennessee and lastly, have a difficult time living on my own with my fiancé. It was hard to watch myself at times because I remember how I felt at certain moments. I know how it felt to work in a job I wasn’t particularly fond of, which is something most millennials know about.

My story ends with finding a job in Tennessee and finally getting independence. But, what you might not know is my fiancé lost his job and we had to move back home. It was tough to watch that part because I so badly wanted to stay, but it just didn’t work out. I didn’t want to see myself talking about freedom and seeing my apartment, but I know I’ll get it again. It’s not like that’s the only time in my life that I’ll be living on my own.

This brings me back into the millennial thing. We’re taught to reach for our dreams, but sometimes, reality is a bit harsh. I know I shouldn’t dwell on the past, but it was only a month that we’ve moved back, but it’s still hard.

I just have to reiterate this; we are not lazy just because we live at home. It’s not our fault we’ve applied to so many jobs and we’re unable to land them. It’s not our fault we’re not financially stable because we are trying our damnest, but our degree and experience just is not enough. It makes you feel like crap and want to give up at times, but we did not go to college all those years just to throw in the towel. We must keep going and looking toward the future, instead of dwelling on the past.

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Social Media Doesn’t Show You Everything – But Why?

I would never post a status about my fiancé and I getting into an argument. I wouldn’t say the whole night was ruined because he was pissing me off or that I was making him feel frustrated with my countless questions. Do you know why? It’s because I’d prefer not to show that side of their relationship and neither do other people.

I don’t have anything against Jessie J. In fact, I love her and think she’s the sweetest and one of the realest celebrities there is. But, I don’t think her and her hubby always get along. She posts photos of the two of them, but she’s never says anything about getting into fights and not talking to each other. She won’t reveal that side because who wants to hear anything negative about someone’s marriage? Who wants to hear that someone’s marriage is a sham?

It’s rather funny that as humans we only post what we want you to see, yet we’re all obsessed with drama. We watch Teen Mom, the Kardashians, and other reality TV shows because we can dive into someone else’s life for an hour and see their lives unfolding in a negative manner. This means whatever is going on in our own lives is shifted to someone else’s. We absolutely love watching these shows – me included – because they seem real. Unfortunately, they’re all scripted, yet we weren’t stop tuning in every Monday night!

We also won’t make a status saying that we don’t have many friends and don’t go out that often, right? We always want to look as if we’re doing something instead of staying in because well, that’s lame, am I correct? Additionally, we’ll always talk about the good characteristics of the guy we’re dating because who wants to know that you guys don’t really have anything in common? That would be a turn-off.

But, why?

Well, we want to look like we fit in. We don’t want others to judge us if we seem as if we never do anything. Not to mention, constantly posting negative statutes just gets annoying and  who wants to get un-friended over that?

We’re a society that is on the move and always needs to do something, go somewhere or hang out with someone. We’re usually considered a “loser” if we just sit at home and watch movies. Your parents will say, ‘why don’t you ever go anywhere?’ So, not only are you being judging by family members, you’re being looked down upon by peers and your social media friends.

But, I say, go ahead! Post your true feelings, photos and what’s really going on in your life! I dare you.

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What My Fiance Taught Me — In the 3 Years We’ve Been Together

It’s funny how things can change in the blink of an eye.  In just a year’s time span, your whole world can turn upside down. As humans, we cannot predict the future. All we can do is hope for the best and expect the worst.

A year ago, I was a mess. I don’t mean like emotionally unstable or anything like that, I’m talking about not being able to make my own decisions, dressing like I didn’t have a ton of confidence and hiding whenever someone wanted to confront me. But, I learned how to cope with situations, dress better and not be so afraid to confront someone. While I’d like to say I learned all of this on my own, I’d be lying to you and I’m an honest person.

It was my fiancé who taught me these things.

Just being around him instilled confidence and better judgment I never knew I had. I’ve been with him for almost 3 years and I am not the same person as I was when we met. It’s a positive thing though!

He wanted me to see the qualities he saw in me : attractive and having confidence. But, it wasn’t just about my appearance, he wanted me to stop being a coward and ‘grow some balls’ –or so to speak. And, I did.

He didn’t teach me to stand up for myself though. My job taught me that along with having a thicker skin and learning how to open my mouth – when necessary. There are so many lessons to learn in life and everyone around me has told me I’m so young and I have a long road ahead. What they don’t know is, it’s not just about ‘learning,’ it has to do with experience.

I moved 800+ miles away from home to another state with a guy I’d been with for 15 months. Sure – I was fearful that it wouldn’t work out, that I’d have to retreat back home and start over. But, deep down, I knew he was the one for me, I just needed more time to realize it. I needed to live with him in order to see the real person he was. We had to endure situations together and see how each other reacted.

He gives me the tough love I needed all along and I appreciate him each and every day. But, you must know I didn’t know this right away. It took time and patience, but I finally got to a point where I knew he was the guy I’d marry. Even though we don’t always get along, we will love each other no matter what!

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