Making A Change In Your Life Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

I’m sitting in the clubhouse at my new apartment in Greenville.

Instead of thinking about the emotional stress I’m about to endure when we officially move, I’m focusing on finding a job, my new life with my husband, hanging out with our friends who live here and making memories.

If I were to think about how I won’t see my family or friends for a long time, it would do nothing but make me sad.

Here’s my advice to you: don’t fear change.

Change is hard, but instead of dwelling on the negatives, you should think about why you made the decision in the first place or why the decision was presented in front of your face. You must think to yourself, maybe this meant to be.

My husband and I came to Greenville last April for an engagement shoot one of my friends offered to do for us. We loved the area, but didn’t think much into it. We were going through a hard time at that point because he was about to lose my job and we had to move back home.

I know that I had a very difficult time grasping the fact that we needed to move back home until our wedding. But, then, we re-visited the option of Greenville in January again.

After discussing it and him getting an interview in Asheville to become a home inspector, we finally decided to take the leap and move here. We wanted to meet in the middle for a place to live and Greenville was it!

Now, we took a chance because he’s still going for his certificate and I do not have a job here – yet.

But, something told me it was okay. Something told me that I had to take this risk because well, I think it’s meant to be. I know I’ll find something eventually. Not to mention, it’s a great opportunity for him and whenever he talks about it, he lights up.

Nothing matters to me more than when my husband is happy. If he’s happy, I’m happy. And, that’s part of marriage. You need to make changes to benefit your partner. You need to sacrifice in order to help your partner out.

So, here we are, in Greenville.

Via Puckermob

Most People Haven’t a Clue That I Starred in a Documentary Called ‘My Millennial Life’

Set

I was contacted by someone back in April regarding a documentary called “My Millennial Life.” It couldn’t believe my ears when I was told I was chosen to be featured because well, I didn’t think I was that important. But, apparently, my story was something else. I’d spent countless dozens commuting to New York for not one, but two internships, had plenty of writing experience–mostly unpaid–and was up to my knees in debt from college. And, when I told this to Maureen Judge–the director–she knew she had to follow my story.

So, in October 2014, Maureen and her crew traveled from Canada to Pennsylvania to film me working, chatting with family and boyfriend and walking through my daily routine of job hunting for the perfect position and going to past places that had special meaning. At first, it was strange being followed by a camera, but then, I got used to it and loved it. They attached a microphone to the inside of my clothes so they could hear me better and I felt like a star.

While they were there, I divulged my deep and dark secrets, not holding anything back. I talked about my fears, desires, disappoints being a college grad who lived at home. I know so many are going through the same thing, so I wanted to display a demeanor that read “I understand what you’re going through and I’m going to help you through it.”

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We went all over and they asked me questions about how I was feeling, what I was thinking and what the place meant to me. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t even hold back when they asked me personal things. They told me they’d come back a few more times to get a glance of where I was at.

The second time focused on me deciding to move to Tennessee with my boyfriend. He landed a job and we mutually decided to move. It was the biggest decision of my life and Maureen and her crew were there every step of the way to see how I felt and what would happen once we moved. They even came while we were settling into our new apartment.

“My Millennial Life” will premiere next year sometime and I cannot wait to see my journey on film. I hope you’ll watch and relate to my decision.

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Via Huffington Post

What I’ve Learned So Far Moving to Another State

Just because you relocate doesn’t mean your problems dissolve.

In the beginning, you’re on cloud nine because you feel as if it’s a new start and you expect things to be different. You might be searching for yourself and wish to find it in another state, but that might not always be the case. You might find that your lack of self-confidence still awaits you at your front door or you as a person is exactly the same.

I believe moving to another state was the best decision I’ve ever made and I would never take it back if I had to do it again. I’ve learned so much in just five months that I don’t believe I could have learned in my hometown. I don’t need to rely on others to make decisions for me. I know how to take care of a living creature. I can lean on myself and I feel stronger as a person. My parents were always there to help me out, but in another state, I learned how to handle situations on my own. I no longer have a crutch because my parents live 800 + miles away.

But, I so badly wanted to relocate because I figured my boyfriend and I would get to experience more things and have more time to have fun, but I was wrong. One day it’s raining and the next day it’s sunny skies. You cannot predict what the weather is going to do. And, if it’s not raining, it’s hot as hell. I should have known that a southern state would be hotter, but I was too naïve and too wrapped up in yearning for change that I didn’t’ think too much about it. However, at the same time, if I would have thought too hard, I would have allowed my fear to take over.

Right before I left, my best friend said to me, “You know, Hope, you think moving to another state will all of a sudden make you happy and that’s probably not the case.” And, maybe I did believe that I would be cured and I was being naïve. Things aren’t always what they pan out to be and that’s okay because there’s always a lesson to be learned.

Via Huffington Post

4 Ways To Meet New People When You Move Away

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Let’s say you went away to college or took a job in another state, but didn’t want to leave family and friends behind. First off, don’t allow your emotions or fear of moving get in the way. You must take a chance and embrace this opportunity. Who knows, something such as this may not come around again!

Being new in town has its ups and downs. For starters, you don’t know anyone, which restaurants are known or which clubs or bars are hopping! But, instead of sulking and sitting in your apartment missing your fam, you must venture out and see what’s out there!

  • Join a club!

What are you interested in? Maybe a book club or health and fitness events? No matter what tickles your fancy, there are clubs in the area that you can meet others with the same interest! Just go to meetup.com and type in what you love and start meeting other folks!

  • Write for the local newspaper or online site!

If you’re a writer, I urge you to reach out to the local editor of the newspaper and ask to contribute to the site. Most online sites allow freelancers to write for their outlet. You’ll get to know the town as well as the editor!

  • Google the hot spots in your new town!

Google will be your new BFF because Google knows everything about your town! Look up restaurant reviews and try various foods your new home has to offer! You never know, you could end up chatting with a local in the restaurant and make a friend!

  • Connect with your co-workers!

Once you land a job, I urge you to connect with your co-workers.  Being buddy-buddy with the people in work won’t make the transition so sucky.

Well, if you’re going to school, I’d say to make friends with your roommate or another classmate. If you’re shy, try to step out of your comfort zone and just have a quick convo with your lab partner!

First Night On The Town

Whenever you’re a newbie in town, it’s difficult to find local events because well, you haven’t a clue as to where anything is or which spots are best to meet people. But, after my first post was published, I had several locals message me on Facebook welcoming me to the town, which I thought was extremely nice.

Anywho, I researched events happening this past Saturday and came across a show called “Burning Las Vegas” at Main Street Music in Murfreesboro. I saw that one of my Facebook friends, Chris Highers was the owner of Main Street Music and host of the show, so I asked him about this interesting event.

After chatting with him for a few, he actually offered my boyfriend and I to see the show — free of charge — which was so sweet of him! He said it was, the “Best live music around” and it was “sold out.” So, we got ready for our first night on the town and made our way over to this Music hall.

When we arrived, the parking lot was full of cars and the place was packed. We each ordered a drink and headed upstairs to watch the bands.

After a while, three women came on stage and began singing music from my parents generation. I loved the music because I grew up listening to oldies.

While I was standing there with a drink in my hand listening to these women sing songs such as “Dancing Queen” and “That’s the Way,” it made me miss my parents. I wished for them to be present watching the same show with me.

Since I’ve never lived away from home, in those moments, I felt very much homesick. Maybe it’s immature of me, but I sort of wanted my parents. It also could have been the alcohol in me stirring up all these emotions inside of me. Regardless, I tried my best to pay attention to the lovely ladies belting their hearts out on stage.

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It will take me awhile to get accustomed to this new lifestyle, but I can do it. I bet plenty of others went through the same thing one time or another, so they can feel empathy toward me.

Until next time..

Love,

Hope Kumor

The “D” word

So, it’s 2015, have you started your diet back up? Or, are you on a fad diet? Regardless of where you are with your diet plans, take some time to read my article from Her Campus Temple (March 2012.)

The “D” Word

Every New Year’s you hear that D-word coming out of everyone’s mouth. They try to commit to it, but somehow, it falls short. You know, diet? Noelia Blanco, Social work major would know, after all, she’s tried it. And, this year, dieting is one of her resolutions.

“I do want to get toned and cut back on sweets,” Blanco says.

For a while, her and her brother followed a diet book that supplied recipes, but gave up because they had to purchase the food.

“We had to cook certain foods.” Blanco says. “It was [just] more difficult to cook meals.”

Now-a-days, there are all types of fad diets such as the Jell-o diet which according to livestrong.com, dieters claim that you can lose up to 20 lbs. in 20 days by eating only Jell-O. I mean, that sounds like an ideal diet to me, only consuming this dessert, but where’s your protein and the fat that you need to make your body full? You need to eat some fat in order to burn it off!

Instead of listening to that current list of quirky diets to lose those few stubborn pounds, try these tips on for size.

1. Drink more cold water. There are no calories in water and instead of choosing that lemonade, which is mostly made up of sugar, substitute it for water. Throughout the day, sip on cold water to fill yourself up.

2.When you go to Fresh Grocer, always check the food labels. Otherwise, you’ll have no idea how many calories are in that bag of chips you buy on a regular basis.

3.  While ordering your latte at Starbucks, don’t eyeball the pastry case. Trust me; it will save you about 200 calories or

4.  According to cosmopolitian.com, research from Penn State suggests that eating bigger portions of food will help you feel fuller longer. So, instead of eating that massive bag of chips, opt for the big salad!

While dieting, remember to keep this list in mind. Just don’t over obsess about not losing weight right away, it takes time. If you’re following a diet, remain committed and stick to your goals. Overtime, you’ll achieve your weight goal of 15 pounds before your eyes!

I just can’t wait to start the New Year with him!

Christmas Day.

The clock strikes 6:30, the time he gets off work. We have Christmas plans. He will go home & shower then head over so him, the family & I can explore & gaze at Christmas lights around the area.

7:54 p.m. hits & here he is with a white & red bag. We were exchanging gifts later that night. Before that, we planned to see our first walk through light show. We go to this house every year to check out their latest decorations. However, this year is different because he’s coming with us. He & I sit in the back whispering & giving one another longing glances. We smile with no words to say. The feelings are mutual & we know the smile that forms on our faces means the same thing. At times, there is nothing to say, so instead we show the smile.

He sits next to me looking at the lights, concentrating on the colors & I think to myself, he’s so cute. The way his eyes light up when he sees the show is overwhelming. Those eyes. His eyes.

The night before he says, I always tell you that you’re beautiful, but I never tell you why I think that. I think my favorite thing about you is your pretty eyes.  There it is, my eyes. I would have to say that my favorite part of him is his eyes. The sincereness that they exemplify, the way he looks at me, & how he talks to me with a low, soft voice, while his gazes into my eyes.

His touch. His smile. His hair.

Later that night, we exchange gifts. You can go first, he says as he pushes the bag close to me. The card is first, which I continue to read over & over. Enclosed, there is a lot of writing.

Isn’t it funny how a simple elevator ride can change everything? 

Going back to that elevator ride.

On the morning of September 28th, my train arrived at school a bit late. As I headed for the elevator, there were no concrete thoughts that entered my mind. Rather, I was more so concerned with being late to my 11:00 class. I walked up to the elevator waiting area where I saw him, with 2 students in front of me also taking the elevator. I became nervous because I KNEW it was “the moment.” I began to wimp out, think that I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to put that much energy into it. I didn’t feel like it. As the elevator doors opened, the students headed for the elevator. He was before me & as soon as I entered, he looked at me & I said it, “I just noticed this, you’re in 2 of my classes.” The first things I noticed were his braces & how he listened to me when I spoke to him. I was having a bit of trouble with our capstone paper topics & let him know. He smiled a bit. He told me he was going to his friend’s that weekend for his bachelor’s party & he would have to take the Philip Roth book up with him to read. As we entered class he says, “You’re Hope, right?”  I say, “Yes. And, you’re Matt?”  YUP!  

The whole class I thought of a plan, I would ask him to help me with my paper topic. So, if we happened to walk out of the room at the same time, I would mention it to him. We did. I said to him, “Hey Matt. I kind of need someone else’s opinion on my paper topic, do you think I could email it to you?”  He wanted to get together instead. He quickly wrote out his email & handed it to me in sloppy handwriting asking, “Can you read this?”  “Yes,” I replied. 

THAT was the start. Our start. All from an elevator ride. To think back to that moment is incredible. To think where we started until NOW.

We’ve been together for 2 months & 4 days! Going back to my entries is nuts! I’m very sentimental & love to look back at memories & important, memorable moments.

After the card, I opened his two presents. I first one was a pink ornament with my name, Hope. He ordered it. Second, was a Hello Kitty necklace. I love both the gifts. As he read his card, he stroked my arm & chuckled as he read through my feelings.

We’re both going to spill our guts out in these cards, I wrote. He loved my gifts.

After that, we sat by the fire where he told me, There’s no other place I’d rather be, while I blushed a bright red. Compliment after compliment after compliment. Meanwhile, I blush and blush and blush.

You’re all I need, dear, he shares as we sit by the burned out fire. He cuddles & holds me tight while we watch it fizzle out.

He shares his feelings, thoughts without hiding anything from me. We discuss writers & he says, I love having someone I can talk to this stuff about with. I agree. I always agree.

He can’t leave. I don’t want him to leave. He has to stay with me. He has to spend the night so we can talk, share & speak the whole night. My mom said he can stay over. I’m looking forward to one of those days. We will see each other in the morning. Me without makeup, though he would still tell me I look beautiful.

He sits Indian style when we finish the night discussing the next time we’ll see each other, tomorrow. He touches my face & puts his hand through my light brown hair. He loves to touch my hair & face.

10/5/2012:  A Memory of you.

“Sitting on the train after hugging her goodbye and as the train pulled away I could see her holding back a smile. This makes me feel good. I asked her on a date and I think we are kind of starting something.” 

I read this in his card, so nicely put that I can’t help but have tears in my eyes & smile. I kiss him after I read those words and open the two wonderful gifts.

Aren’t I lucky? his text messages say often, as well as, You mean so much to me, Hope. 

Lucky. Fortunate. Elevator. Memories. Touch. Smile. Laugh. Giggle. Poke. No words. Daydream. Feelings. Thoughts. Dreams. Fast. Slow. Temple. Discuss. Love. Talk. Speak. Christmas. Presents. Writing. Writer.

Our first Christmas was successful.

Is this really happening, I ask myself on this dreary, rainy night while my brother & parents goof around playing monopoly in the kitchen. I tend to stick in my room to get my thoughts out. I’ve been with people all day & I just need a break. Rather, at times, I keep to myself & love to be in my room writing.

I’ve never felt like this before, I share with my mom as she comes in my room to see how I’m doing. She says, It’s nice to see you so happy, Hope. She smiles & I smile back.

I wake up thinking about him. I can’t stop thinking about him today. Our night enters in & out of my mind as I serve drinks to customers at the local Barnes & Noble cafe.  I wear his necklace proudly when I start my shift. No one sees it or asks about it. Not yet, at least!

There’s so much to say. There’s never enough time in the day to hang out. There are always restrictions, barriers, challenges, stops, freezes & halts. But, even with the holds, he’s still worth it. I DO truly believe he is worth it.

If we’re still together, hopefully we will be, I want you to know that I take Valentine’s Day seriously, I say to him while we talk in my living room near the blinking lights on the tree. Are you afraid of what the future will bring? he asks with sadness in his eyes. YES! What will happen between us? Will we stay together forever? Too soon. Too early to tell.

I could see us being together for a while, he responds with a smile. But, what if you get tired of the ride or I get tired of the ride?, I ask.  Sweetie, I might get tired of the drive, but I won’t get tired of seeing you. I smile, of course.

It’s true, things can change in a matter of a few months. But, I hope they WON’T! He’s THE sweetest guy I’ve ever met.

I look forward to creating many more memories with you, sweetie. Me too!

I just can’t wait to start the New Year with him!

I’ve just never felt like this before.

It’s scary. I’m scared, petrified & frightened: To be so vulnerable & open with someone is overwhelming. I’ve never felt like this before & it’s all so new.

I love spending time with you. I like where we’re at in this relationship. I like having someone to talk to, he shares with me on this cold fall night while rubbing my arm. Not too much touching now, tiger. I need my space. I won’t lie. I won’t fib. I feel the same. I hope the same things as him, to stay together for a while.

I just haven’t ever felt like “this” before. We’re both scared. We can be scared together, he says with a smile. Gosh, am I scared. I can’t emphasize that enough. Every relationship has risks, challenges, obstacles & faces hardships. Especially us, being 45 minutes away from one another. I can’t simply say, “Okay, I’ll be over in a few minutes.” It would be more like, “Alright, well, I’ll be over in about an hour.” It won’t be easy. But, tell me, is he worth it? A definitive YES. 

He’s worth all obstacles, challenges, hardships & risks.

As we sat hand & hand, side by side talking about our feelings for one another, my heart beat a mile a minute. I was nervous. But, at the same time, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. Later, I shared with him a story that I’ve only told a select few. He touched my leg & arm as I told him about my thoughts of ending all of this a few months before I met him. There’s no need to worry about that stuff because I haven’t thought of it ever since. It was contemplated, which I can bet half the population has had thoughts of doing as well one time or another.

I think we look good together, I tell him as we walk around campus holding hands. You know those couples where you glance at them & say, Aw, they’re cute together? Well, that’s us. That’s my boyfriend & I. We suit each other.

We flirt. Kiss. Flirt. Hug. Touch. Poke. Sit close. Hold. It’s great. Nice. Perfect. Sweet.

Nuts. Crazy. Fast, are the words I associate with our relationship. So many words to say. So much to talk about. So much to share. So much to write. So much to wonder, ponder, consider, think about, dream of, imagine.

I’m barely able to describe how I feel about this relationship. If I discussed this with my brother, he would have no clue what I’m talking about. He would nod & listen, but wouldn’t & couldn’t fully understand. No one will. Except him, of course.

I’ve just never felt like this before.

He’s worth it & he’s my boyfriend.

He sits closer, looks into my eyes & says, I know that we’re really busy with homework, live a little distance apart, are a little different & are graduating in December, but I wanted to ask you, will you be my girlfriend?

On October 22nd, 2012, new guy asked me to be his girlfriend. Naturally, I accepted. My feelings for him have gotten stronger & stronger as time went on. The only issue I have is the amount of times he touches me. He always needs to touch me. Yes, I like him, but I’ve always had personal space issues. I don’t like to constantly be touched. I’m not like that. It turns me off. We talked about it & it’s all good.

He met my parents & I met his. So quick! So fast. It’s hard not to compare new guy to him, but new guy is a lot sweeter. He opens doors for me, pays, shuts the car door & offers to carry my belongings if I have too much in my hand, etc. He supports me. He’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. But, what is it?

I have so much to do. So much stuff to get done. But, this is real. My feelings are strong. This is a real relationship & it’s happening so fast. Slow. It. Down. I won’t be able to keep up. I will get left in the dust. We’ve got to gradually & slowly work through issues & problems that may arise from having a relationship. It’s a job. It’s not easy. It takes time, work, effort & patience.

But, as he tells me constantly, You’re worth it.

He’s worth it. & he’s my boyfriend.

2012: College Graduation.

Since we are now in the year 2012, let’s put everything out there. It’s not scary like so many others made it out to be. I thought this world would be consumed of frightful figures & dangerous clowns. It is nothing more than the same except it reads: 2012.

This year will be filled with almost as many changes as the previous one. The biggest one will be graduating with a bachelor’s degree in English. It is the scariest, deadliest, & terrifying alteration in my life. This will be the largest transition of my life. I’m running with the big boys so to speak.

No more school to protect me. I will enter into the world of big corporations, adulthood, & masterpiece. I can’t hide under the books anymore. This is no joke, it’s my life we are talking about here.

So, even though the guns will be out and I won’t take this lightly, I need to have fun. I can’t become a stuck-up individual consumed with her studies whose only concern is reading. I realize that fun must be in my vocabulary as well.

We’ve entered into the world of 2012, where big things emerge. “This will be your year” is plastered on my wall. But, really, will it be?

Isn’t that what everyone says once we move onto the next year? People always believe this statement but I’m beginning to question whether it’s true or not. Last year was clogged up with worrying too much about my former bf than myself at times. It’s a new year. We are just friends, nothing more. I’m accepting it and finally moving on after countless months of being attached to him.

Now that it’s over, I can focus on my own well-being. What does Hope Kumor want sort of thing. That sounds like a great plan to me.

What are YOUR resolutions anyway?

XOXO.

❤ Hope Kumor